Being a Well Liked Person

For all other chat which isn't directly related to lucid dreaming and the world of sleep and dreams.
User avatar
btifuldreamer
Posts: 205
Joined: 31 Mar 2013 01:36
Location: Australia
Contact:

Being a Well Liked Person

Postby btifuldreamer » 10 May 2014 08:54

This is something that has been on my mind for the past month. If you're sitting next to or near someone on a bus/train/plane do you ever speak to them, even if you don't know them? I have been taught growing up to think that it is wrong to talk to strangers but that's not true. When i'm at school and i might stand near someone i don't know, i just think well i don't know this person so i won't talk to them. However, my other friend that i am slightly jealous of because of his willingness to talk to anyone, he will speak to them and be instant friends. So I've been trying to talk to and make more friends at school. I've discovered that saying that magic word 'Hi' can be a real ice breaker and i'm surprised by people i thought kept to themselves and were quite shy, how they light up and start a thriving conversation with me. So basically, this topic is to talk about talking :D Are you an introverted person that has trouble talking to strangers/co-workers/fellow students etc.? Well discuss here. If you're the social type, please share how you talk to randoms and become friends!
Last edited by btifuldreamer on 10 Jun 2016 04:55, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Summerlander
Posts: 3656
Joined: 22 Sep 2011 19:52

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby Summerlander » 13 May 2014 23:59

Just be yourself. I hardly ever talk to strangers. Most of the time I just think of people as noisy furniture, especially on crowded buses, and when they are young and stupid and I just want them to shut the fuck up.

[ Post made via Android ] Image
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

User avatar
Highlander
Posts: 442
Joined: 14 Mar 2013 00:31
Location: Portugal

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby Highlander » 14 May 2014 12:41

Like Summerlander said, just be yourself.
I am a very shy person, i just talk to my friends, i don't start conversations with strangers, i am not a very social person. I too was jealous of some friends of mine who have the ability to talk to everyone they see. This can be good. But can also be bad. The other person might not want to talk and your friend might be considered a "pain in the ass".
I've tried to change but i get all stressed out. So, i gave up. I just be myself. There are people who like me this way: quiet, shy but a good friend, humorous, kind and easy-going. People who don't like me, i don't care about them.
Don't try to be someone else. Be yourself and be surrounded by people who like you.

User avatar
Summerlander
Posts: 3656
Joined: 22 Sep 2011 19:52

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby Summerlander » 15 May 2014 01:18

Yeah, you also don't want to come across as a bleating pain in the ass. Moreover, think about what could happen if you strike up a conversation with some psychopath who develops an unhealthy obsession with you. Socialising in this manner can be a great boon in widening your network and enriching conviviality, but it invites a greater possibility of danger, too.

Unfortunately, our world is not uncorrupted. It is multicoloured with personalities with all sorts of hidden agendas. The introvert is safer than the extrovert in the same manner that the monogamist is safer than the polygamist, and, if your friend one day realises this, he may want to be more like you. I'm sorry if I sound cynical but I am only trying to be realistic here. Perhaps save your keen, forthcoming side for those occasions when you may wish to seduce your "object" of attraction. (And pick wisely.) 8-)

Never mind being well liked! If this becomes your main focus you will drive yourself insane. Do what comes natural to you instead of trying to live to entertain others.
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

User avatar
Je-Je
Posts: 340
Joined: 26 Mar 2013 12:41
Location: Somewhere in DreamWorld

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby Je-Je » 24 May 2014 18:47

Shy or introvert are people who suffer a lot. They don’t have friends, they don’t go out, don’t have activities, judge people without knowing them, and are limited. That doesn’t mean that if you’re shy you cannot change. Shy is just a mask which hide your real personality ex; at home you are yourself but when you are with people you put your mask on, you don’t want to show your full potential to people.

When I was a kid, I was shy and nobody didn’t like me. One day a man told me be yourself, I misunderstood so I said to myself, I’m shy, whereas it was not me, my full personality the full me was behind that shy mask, when I took off the mask, show everyone who I am, everybody started liking me because I was myself.

The important it is to find yourself and your purpose.

People who can’t stay with other people are not human for me. Human is LOVE, appreciate people present, learn more about other, we all need each other to make a better world, but it all start by changing ourselves.
I discovered Lucid Dream by watching the film Inception(2012)
Lucid Dream Count: 31+
Normal Dream Count: +∞
Objective: Make 30 Lucid-Dreams this year(2016).

User avatar
HAGART
Posts: 3182
Joined: 05 Jan 2012 21:09
Location: CANADA

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby HAGART » 25 May 2014 04:30

Whoever said being gregarious was a good thing?

You don't have to be 'popular' to be happy. My personality is an INFP (from another topic here in the Off-Topic), but I'm proud of it. I never talk about the weather or gossip and can't fit in with society, but I don't mind being a hermit who comes out to talk about things I'm interested in and then retreats back to solitude in my own mind.

Be content with yourself, whatever it is. We all have our talents and weaknesses.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

User avatar
btifuldreamer
Posts: 205
Joined: 31 Mar 2013 01:36
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby btifuldreamer » 27 Jun 2014 09:57

Very good comments. I am happy to say that since posting this topic i have made a lot more friends all thanks to just saying hi to some people. I've learned that you don't have to have deep conversations with people to be good friends, just a simple how are you will do then you can get on with what you are doing. I'm not necisarily saying i'm trying to be someone else, i am getting out and meeting more people which makes me feel better and more sociable. My ideal plan for the weekend used to be sitting in my lounge room all day playing video games however now i if i do that i feel like i should be getting outside talking to people. But that's just me, i'm slowly becoming comfortable being able to talk to anyone and everyone. But how come nowadays everyone is so afraid to just say hi to people? I've observed that the seniors make great conversation with people they've never even met and there's never an awkward moment. Children these days have been brought up to steer away from strangers, that is good in some aspects but, you're not gonna make many friends that way.

User avatar
Summerlander
Posts: 3656
Joined: 22 Sep 2011 19:52

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby Summerlander » 27 Jun 2014 10:34

There is definitely nothing wrong with upgrading yourself and it certainly does not equate with "trying to be someone else." Sometimes it is good to try different approaches and explore. There is also such a thing as learning about yourself. I'm glad the comments posted here helped you in some way! Best of luck! :-)

[ Post made via Android ] Image
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

User avatar
HAGART
Posts: 3182
Joined: 05 Jan 2012 21:09
Location: CANADA

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby HAGART » 29 Jun 2014 22:32

Hi, how are you, Btifuldreamer.?
Feels good to say that. 8-)

I noticed this too about children today. I see empty playgrounds, and nobody is jumping rope or making chalk outlines and playing hop-scotch anymore.

In the 80's we would play outdoors and ride our bikes and had a lot more freedom and learned the 'rules of the playground'. Letting kids run free and interact makes them grow up and be strong, but there is so much fear mongering in the media about guys in vans taking kids away. It's ridiculous. Don't let a few rare bad-apples spoil the whole bunch.

Get out there and have fun! It's a friendly world for the most part.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

User avatar
Summerlander
Posts: 3656
Joined: 22 Sep 2011 19:52

Re: Being a Well Liked Person

Postby Summerlander » 30 Jun 2014 02:26

I don't know if animals are easier to understand but they are certainly easier to talk to. But the problem is that they don't talk back (and they are not really "listening").

Human friends have the potential to offer much more - for better or for worse. As for issues with keeping secrets or even telling white lies with the best intentions I can only point to a commendable book which I'm currently reading: "Lying" by Sam Harris. It has taught me, so far, that people tend to underestimate honesty as a tool with which they can improve their relationships and ultimately lead better lives. There are many reasons to believe that the old maxim is true: honesty is the best policy.

[ Post made via Android ] Image
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava


Return to “Off-Topic”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest