I was going to show you this link,but I couldn't find it last night. Now I have,and its quite possibly the most brilliant article I have ever seen that addresses what real pacifism is all about. It was written by a well-known self-defense instructor by the name of "Marc Macyoung."
In short, pacifism is not only about being against violence, it also is about being non-violent.
To be a pacifist, you must be peaceful. And that means you don't use violence to get what you want. To be peaceful you strive for calm and tranquility; within in your mind, within your spirit, within your emotions and attitudes, within your words and within your behavior. You project peace, not violence. In short, being pacifistic means that you do not engage in any kind of violence yourself.
Unfortunately, most self-proclaimed 'pacifists' are anything but pacific. When considered with the definition of violence given below (click down, and return) the implications of Mr. Young's statement should bring you up short. It is very easy to be extremely violent without ever being physical about it. Pacifism is not -- as many self-proclaimed pacifists do -- screaming vitriolic anger at people and then claiming you are non-violent because you didn't punch anybody. If you think this is an exaggeration, look at photos and examine the faces of people who are engaged in "peace protests," or better yet, watch their actions and behaviors on film, especially when they are confronting someone. They are many things, but non-violent is not one of them.
Pacifism is not about being "verbally/emotionally violent" and then hiding behind a convenient definition so you don't get punched. Nor is it about being selfish and hurtful and relying on convention to keep you safe. People who engage in violence without ever "stooping" to physical violence are not being pacifistic. In order to get their way, they are trying to control the degree of violence in which they participate. What is interesting to notice is the intense unease of these kind of people have when around individuals who they deem "violent." (e.g. those who will take it physical). Our theory is that their reliance on violence makes them uncomfortable around someone who is willing to go further with it than they.
This is absolutely true. the vast majority of self-proclaimed "pacifists" that I've met in real life were nothing more than verbally/emotionally abusive cowards who just wanted free reign to abuse whoever they want without fear of physical retaliation. I have,however,met true pacifists online and they are indeed wonderful people. Even though I will never understand their refusal to physically defend themselves,they are at least true to their calling and not just using their pacifist status as a shield to enable their bad behavior like the false pacifists do.