The first one I was in the bathroom and I looked at my hands. They looked like they were very far away but I still wasn't sure if I was dreaming. I believed that it was possible that I was dreaming but upon having this realization I suddenly had trouble keeping my eyes open. I was fighting a very strong force to keep them open but eventually everything faded to black.
I tried to DEILD(I think this might have actually been a false awakening because I remember staring at a picture to focus on bringing the dream back that I don't have anymore) and thought really hard about the bathroom and was brought back into it. I still couldn't keep my eyes open but I was trying to rub my hands together hoping that was going to work. I went in and out of that bathroom dream around five times before waking up for good.
Then later in the week I suddenly became lucid in a dream in my living room. I tried flipping the light switch to test the dream but it worked normally. Then I looked at my hands and they looked like I was looking at them cross-eyed. I agreed that I was dreaming and said that I was dreaming out loud. Again after saying this I felt like I was crying and my eyes actually hurt as though they were submerged in chlorine water. I couldn't focus like I was underwater and woke up.
Last night it happened again. After being in a car crash with my friend I told him that I needed to bolt because the cops were looking for me. I ran up the street but I decided that I should go back to get my wallet and phone from his car. I suddenly realized "Hey I'm dreaming I don't need to get my stuff." Rather than rubbing my hands I felt the dirt that was on the hillside I had slid down to get away. It seemed so real and I was trying to understand the texture of it. I then saw that there was a black fog line across my field of vision as if it were a piece of paper with that jagged strip being ripped out. I looked at the empty spot trying to make it go away but the opposite happened. It grew to take my whole field of vision over and then I woke up.
I'm wondering if the way I am just becoming spontaneously lucid because I don't trust my reality checks is causing this or if it's just because I now fear his happening but any help would be greatly appreciated.
I wonder if your lucid dream happened in the early hours of the morning close to awakening. Most of mine happen then, but they can be very short at times. My best ones happen during a deeper, earlier sleep.
I don't think your reality checks are a problem... you know that you are dreaming and therefore lucid. But I too sometimes find it hard to keep 'my eyes open' or even walk for that matter. And I think they fade too soon for all of us sometimes.
I say, keep at it, and learn. Our brains are like a muscle that must be exercised.
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