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I’ve been studying lucid dreaming for a few months now…practicing reality checks, keeping a dream journal, etc. A few nights ago, I had some interesting dream experiences. My first experience involved my husband’s mother who passed away last October. She has appeared in a few of my dreams & is definitely one of my dream signs. In this dream, I performed some reality checks-trying to push my hand through the wall, trying to push my fingers through the palm of my hand, & trying to pinch my nose & still breathe with my mouth closed. The only one that worked was breathing with my nose & mouth closed. I did feel excited, but I don’t know if I was actually lucid. Then, when I saw my husband’s mother, I put my hands on her shoulders & kept saying to her that she’s not real & this isn’t real. She did say something to me about her being real. I feel like since I do reality checks so much & think so much about my dreams/dream signs, that I was dreaming I was doing these things without being aware of it…like I was dreaming of doing them, but not getting to the point that I was actually consciously using these tools to become aware. During the second experience I had that night, I didn’t perform any reality checks, but at one point in the dream, I pushed my hand against a glass window & the glass became soft & stretched/molded around my hand while I kept pushing through. I kept stretching it & then twisting it. I didn’t do this to perform a reality check, it was just a part of the dream, although I have to add that I never really have done anything weird like that in any of my dreams. One of my reality checks that I consistently do is trying to push my hand through a glass window or glass computer monitor so I’m sure that’s why the glass became pliable in my dream. My last experience that night was dreaming that I was using my voice recorder on my iPhone to record a dream that I had. I didn’t really feel aware that I was dreaming in any of my dreams. Could I have been lucid during the first dream even though I felt like I was just dreaming about doing reality checks & not doing them consciously to become aware in my dream? I guess I'm thinking that if I become lucid, I will definitely know it & it will feel very different than a non-lucid dream. Is that a true statement? I am excited though that all three of those experiences happened all in one night in separate dreams. I feel like I’m at least getting a lot closer to having a lucid dream & that all of my efforts are starting to get me somewhere
I didn’t really feel aware that I was dreaming in any of my dreams. Could I have been lucid during the first dream even though I felt like I was just dreaming about doing reality checks & not doing them consciously to become aware in my dream? I guess I'm thinking that if I become lucid, I will definitely know it
Yes if you become lucid you should definitely know it, its amazing. It does sound to me that cause you have programmed into your mind these reality checks that you are now dreaming them (which is supposed to happen) but unfortunately in your case they have failed to make you become lucid when you dream them.
This may not be a good thing as it could mean this method has failed you seeing you arent becoming aware with this kind of reality check even when it shows you are dreaming. Dont jump to that conclusion just yet that its not going to happen as maybe it still will next time became aware when the reality check tries to show you are dreaming, give yourself a few more chances for your awareness to kick in while doing these things but if it doesnt, it will mean need to try a different method as this isnt working for you(eg WILD or something else where you dont need to reality check, if you cant gain awareness by reality checks).
I suggest to add to what you are doing now which could help make you come to the dreaming realisation the following. Look around yourself at times and asking yourself the question "Is there anything strange/weird here which shows Im dreaming?", then study the environment you are in. Hopefully you will notice something that strange or exciting to see that your waking consciousness can suddenly come in and go "wow, this must be a dream".
The 2 reality checks which failed with you, I suggest not to do those ones again (as they are likely to fail again).. stick with the 2 which worked for you (pushing on glass and the breathing one) . Dont be disappointed as even finding out what doesnt work for you, is one more step towards trying to work out what will and does.
The only thing to fear is the fear itself
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