Long story short: (this is what I remember)
Since very very young age I kept having the recurring dream of running on 4 limbs and on walls, like a warewolf or something, and then jumping on the air and just flying, and looking at from where I jumped. Man what a great feeling, I actually felt the wind on my face. This lasted from maybe age 2/3 to... 5/7 years old?
Once in the summer I also remember being so tyred that I closed my eyes, and opened them and it was daytime! Like I said I was tired but I never forgot this occurence, I remember thinking what a great power it would be if I could just close my eyes and wake up rejuvenated. I was 7-9 years old. I tried to replicate this for months, obcessed, no internet back then haha.
By age 10 and above I started missing the "warewolf wind runner" dreams.
By age 12 - 14, my father was away in the army, and I remember this one day creepy f*ck dream, where I was scared senseless, but awake!!! Some kind of warewolf/dog 2 legged walkers with spears started descending from the sky to the middle of the house and to my mom's bedroom, I wasnt seeing them but I could ear them run and it's like I knew who they where. My mom was crying for my help and I was f*acking paralysed in fear. I closed my eyes as I felt on enter my room. I remember praying for help. I clearly felt it's cold touch in the back on my neck, he was breathing right next to my face. After some moments he was gonne. I stayed awake and paralysed in shock for several hours until I managed to gain strenght to call for my mother and she attended. From this dream on, something changed.
From there on, each and every time I slept in a "new bed" in another house, an average of oncee a year maybe, I had this "dream" were I wake up and I cant move and theres something "evil" in the room. At first it was shy of me and once it noticed I was awake but not moving it vanished, only after it vanishes do I regain control of my body. I know now by my own research that this is what science calls "sleep paralysis"
Now I've been "fighting" with this thing for years!! Each time the fight is nastier and lasts longer. One time I remember feeling my back against the ceiling and the thing was pulling me down. (now this, after today, all makes sense in a lunatic way for me).
Very recently, the episodes have been stronger then ever, to the point I *felt* the presence during day time while I'm fully awake, just before I go to bed, it's waiting for me, I actually feel the "pressure" in the room. Often just after putting myself inside the bed sheets I have to stand up and open the door and intuitively he knows I know he's there and he goes away. The pressure on the room vanishes, I go to bed and I don't experience no sleep paralysis nor Hypnagogia that night... pretty weird I would say..
but from the last 2 weeks to 1 month it's being a REAL problem, it's day in day out, during the DAY, because I've been very stressed with work and working all nighters and whatnot, I'm feeling I may have developed Narcolepsy, I feel really tired and just before I wake up I feel the "sleep paralysis"... but no dreams...no "malevolant presance"... now, this week, I guess the thing missed me and decided since I was day sleeping to come visit me during the day. ONLY when I'm sleeping ALONE in the house, during the day, if I take a nap with other people in the house he doesnt come...it gets creepier.
By the beginning of last week I had some real trouble to wake up and I was feeling it outside the room, I run to "lock" the door, and had to go back to sleep cause I was soooo tired.
I would also like to say that this thing has touched me in the arms and legs several times last month, it's like it has grown confidance in transgressing me, with impunity, until yesterday. PS: This thing try's to deceive me in to keep dreaming, only when I wake up from the dream do I notice it there, and then I try to face it but I can't move... thus beggins the "fight",
But like I was saying... yesterday...I think "something [insert God or my "Guardian" or whatever]" killed it. I woke up and that time the thing was asfixiating my neck with one "hand"..it was all very fast, very blurry, it was like if I was not fully laied horizontally but thtat the thing was raising my torso with one hand and asfixiating me with another, I remember "calling for someone or soemthing for help...not sure if God or not..I'm not relegious" and it interveined. I felt it was gone forever, I could move,
then I woke up but was in peace, really tired I got back to sleeping.
So there I was today, with this thing gonne, and I felt the urge to take a nap, so I did...and today all was pretty different. My conclusion? That thing was preventing my "mind/spirit/whatever" from "roaming", like when I was a kid maybe... it was so long ago.. and today since the thing wanst there...yep thats right, I got some pretty messed up lucid dreaming like if I was on another "dimension", just like this one, same people I knew (well, jsut some, many I've have never seen), but I was at a bar, drunk, not me, just my body, I had a hard time getting out of there all "douzed up"... falling on the ground, etc, when I got outside, I remeber some kind of wall, maybe in an alley? I was fixing a point in the wall and I started seeing "shapes" in my eyes, but this wall was so so clear, so vivid, like an HD image, and then I was focusing it out, but I didnt want to...because I felt what was going on, I was tyring to multi level, to jump from this 1st tier dimension to another one... so I was strutting my eyes already "waking up" but not moving! and I felt an immense SPEED, like...I don't know, faster then light, a blink, but it was like miles from "one dimension" to the other... and then the craziest thing happened...
I was like...in that painfull drowsy state of getting back control from "sleep paralysis" and standing up...and I went from the sofa to my desk in another room and to call my girlfriend, and I had a video message.. or something..it was my girlfriend..but a little different..maybe a bit taller..more muscular? and she was happy, taping herself painting a wall in a colorfoul room like that looked like she was an artist, I remember thinking, "where the fuck is she??! and what is she doing", it was like summer and light and she was dancing... guess what..I was still on the sofa...I lost this image when my eyeleads where "strutting" and drowsing like when you struggle with sleep paralysis..and then again the "speed effect"..like if I was being CALLED back from my body...I remember thinking..."wow...this was new!"... and then BANG, I felt I had fall from the sofa trying to stand up...face plating on the ground...and then more eyelead strouting and I was not on the ground, I was still on the sofa trying to wake up!!!
I remember thinking that I was kind of "drunk"... like if my "spirit/soul/mind" was affected by being on a drunk body version on me somewhere else! This is tooooo much fun!
Only then I managed to stood up feeling like shit more tired then ever...
Now....I don't talk to my mother about this, cause we ain't talking for like 2 years now, but she has some weird shit too, in her dreams or soemthing, visions of the future that come true or whatever, and from what I've read, and what she told me when we were talking, she sees those "5th dimension silky smooky puffy critters" talking to her or whatever... this was a long time ago though, when I was telling her of my "sleep paralysis"..she confessed some stuff that I really dont remember... I was thiking like..."yeah right..you're only saying that cause I'm saying I see weird shit when I "dream""
I was really worried I could die not managing to come back to my body or something.
What the fuck is this? Is this those OBE shit people talk about? Wow...I feel fortunate if it is...cause If it is I think I can control it!! Cause it has been going stronger in me...only that thing was stopping me and its gonne only "God" knows why.... well...I'm not really sure if its gonne or not..I'll have to wait for the next time, but at the rate its going on, I just need to be tired again for it to happen.
Now. My good "please not crazy" people, should I stop this nonense and find treatment for Hypnagogia and Narcolepsy, or is this shit the real deal??
But besides thism only now I'm logged into lucid dreaming, and what you guys try to do seams to me to be eazy peazy, it's like several times I wake up, like opene my eyes, realize I'm dreaming, close my eyes and keep on with the dream, its too much fun...but I never knew that was lucid dreaming, now I want to take this deeper and do astral projection and stuff...
It's like, people allways told me you can't see colors or numbers or letters in dreams and thats bullshit cause I guarantee mine are in color and that I've read stuff in them!
I have never quite understood the difference between OBE's and false awakenings. I guess that when you get an out of body experience you kind of levitate in the room, while in false awakenings almost everything seems "valid". But then again, I am not that sure about it. False awakenings sounds better, to be honest, since, like I said, they are an easy way to achieve lucid dreams.
You are lucky to be a natural lucid dreamer
Lucid dream count : 5
Last lucid dream : 11 september 2011
Have given up, for now. The school is too much work. I am going to keep doing it i my weekend and vacations though
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