So a few months ago I heard about lucid dreaming. I found out about it soon after doing some research about sleep paralysis. I used to get sleep paralysis often, especially if I wake up and go back to sleep frequently (as is the case in the mornings if I struggle to get myself up). In some of these cases I also get false awakenings (well I think this is what it is, after reading up more last night).
So before I have tried to lucid dream, but without much success. I sometimes have trouble falling asleep at night, and sometimes lie awake for about an hour to two. Trying to lucid dream here did not help at all, I merely managed to keep myself awake longer. But I realized yesterday that in the mornings after waking up, still feeling lazy and sleepy, it takes me probably less than a minute to fall asleep.
So this was my experience this morning. After I woke up, I decided to to sleep some more, but thought back to last night, reading about lucid dreaming. So I tried to keep myself aware. My body (arms, legs etc) would get slight itches/tingles but I ignored it and stayed still. Soon things got a little fuzzy and my body felt, uhm, kinda tingly and fuzzy all over. I started hearing rain outside, but I knew this was not possible as I had awoken previously to sunshine. Then I got this surging feeling through me. Kinda like I am getting detached from my body (although I don't think this was out of body experience. I think maybe I was just losing control and getting confused with things I read the previous night) Anycase, I started getting very excited about this experience, but tried to keep myself calm. Eventually (after my vision was very fuzzy), my room started fading in, become more clear.
At this stage I thought 3 things. Perhaps I am awake, perhaps I am having a lucid dream, or maybe this is sleep paralysis (since I am familiar with this feeling). I raised my hand to my face, and sure enough I could see it. So it was not sleep paralysis. I looked at my door, and got scared. It's closed as normal, but I was afraid of finding out what is outside it. So I stood up (things felt a little weird. A little unclear perhaps, and slow). I suddenly had a fear of looking around. I was kind of expecting to see myself, though I did not want to.
So when I looked, I saw a body in my bed and got a little anxious. Getting closer, it looked less and less like me. For a while it resembled my ex-girlfriend. I really did not want her there and immediately got quite angry and shocked. At this point I could not control my body anymore. Though I was still mildly aware that I was dreaming. As I moved closer to her a grabbed her shoulders (presumably wanted to shake her. I think I was still confused about whether it actually was her or me, but she turned into this mask wearing dark figure. I got very scared, and managed to wake myself up.
When I checked my watch, about 10 to 15 minutes had passed. Weird. Was this a lucid dream? What can I do better?
The best advise I can give you is to transform the emotions to ones you want. You let the dream be controlled by raw fear. Any emotion can be flipped into its opposite- in this case courage or at the very least one can move from raw fear to controlled fear. You let raw fear drive you throughout your dream, so your fear of SP, quickly became fear of the environment and from that you moved on to spooky monsters like your ex-girl friend and masked shadow. You let the dream control you both in what you were dreaming about and how you reacted too it.
And there is only one thing we say to death "not today"
- Syrio Forel
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