Lucid dream sex issue?

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cece_t
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Joined: 15 Jun 2015 17:31

Lucid dream sex issue?

Postby cece_t » 15 Jun 2015 17:53

Hello. I've been having lucid dreams for quite a time now, and it seems that i had them even before i knew the term for it. The thing is, recently I'm having trouble with lucid control. I realise I'm dreaming when I do the reality check, and when I try to meet a certain person in my dream, it doesn't work. That certain person I'm trying to meet in my dream is usually not in the surrounding at the moment I become lucid, so when I try to change the scenery, or find a door to change it, I always fail and I can never just make him pop out of nowhere. I try to gain control by changing simple stuff at first, like the color of an object, and it works. But when I try to meet the person, it just doesn't work. Is it because when I become lucid, I try to find that person with intentions of lucid dream sex? Maybe I'm rushing things to get laid in the dream, haha. I've had a couple of sexual dreams which became lucid like in the middle of the act and everything was fine from then on, but when I actually try to make it happen, it just doesn't work. So far I've succeeded like once or twice maybe. The first successful try the person happened to be in the surrounding and when I became lucid, all I had to do is just start undressing them, things went on and I had full control of the dream. The second time I tried it, I had some trouble with finding the person in my dream, but eventually I did. The thing is, that once it happened, halfway trough the act, I started to slowly lose control, and it went on as an usual dream without being lucid. And now I can't seem to reach the person in my dream once I'm lucid. What should I do?

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Summerlander
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Joined: 22 Sep 2011 19:52

Re: Lucid dream sex issue?

Postby Summerlander » 15 Jun 2015 19:24

cece_t wrote:Hello. I've been having lucid dreams for quite a time now, and it seems that i had them even before i knew the term for it.


That makes two of us. When I was as young as six, I used to refer to them as 'the dreams that feel real' in my feeble attempt to describe to my mother what I'd expetienced. :-)

cece_t wrote:The thing is, recently I'm having trouble with lucid control. I realise I'm dreaming when I do the reality check, and when I try to meet a certain person in my dream, it doesn't work. That certain person I'm trying to meet in my dream is usually not in the surrounding at the moment I become lucid, so when I try to change the scenery, or find a door to change it, I always fail and I can never just make him pop out of nowhere.


The mind is a tricky thing. It is in your power to instantaneously summon whoever or whatever you wish, but this requires absolute confidence, belief, and the absence of doubt. Your doubt stems from a subconscious level and is linguistically reflected. Notice how you've used expressions such as, '...it doesn't work'; 'I can never...'; and 'I always fail...' You need to transcend all of this and jettison your defeatist attitude. Keep trying and don't forget to have fun! ;-)

cece_t wrote:Is it because when I become lucid, I try to find that person with intentions of lucid dream sex? Maybe I'm rushing things to get laid in the dream, haha.


I don't think so. It's never stopped me. :mrgreen:

cece_t wrote:I've had a couple of sexual dreams which became lucid like in the middle of the act and everything was fine from then on, but when I actually try to make it happen, it just doesn't work.


There's that negativity again.

cece_t wrote:The second time I tried it, I had some trouble with finding the person in my dream, but eventually I did. The thing is, that once it happened, halfway trough the act, I started to slowly lose control, and it went on as an usual dream without being lucid. And now I can't seem to reach the person in my dream once I'm lucid. What should I do?


Persevere with confidence; don't beat yourself up about failing; and make the seeking fun. 8-)

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"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

Ypoua
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Joined: 01 Jul 2015 05:18

Re: Lucid dream sex issue?

Postby Ypoua » 02 Jul 2015 03:44

I usually enjoy not being able to do something at first in a lucid dream as the process of practising towards trying to achieve that something is actually kind of enjoyable. You shouldn't beat yourself over not being able to do something in a lucid dream as it will get easier over time with a bit of practise especially something like lucid dream sex. I'm fairly new to the world of lucid dreaming and have tried dream control. I was able to do basic things like make objects move with my mind (at least I thought it was basic). I also tried summoning characters in my lucid dreams which resulted in nothing really happening. However I still do meet the characters I have an intention in meeting I usually do this by finding a random door and expecting them to be there. You have to be confident and expect them to be there as I've found if you don't do that then you probably won't have a high chance of finding them there.

If you have only recently started lucid dreaming it is probably best that you set some other goals to achieve rather than having sex as that is one of the hardest things to do as a newbie because you can get to excited and end up waking up.

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Rebecca
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Re: Lucid dream sex issue?

Postby Rebecca » 03 Jul 2015 00:06

Some excellent points here.

I'd just add, when you feel you're lacking control, do two things:

1. Heighten your lucidity by rubbing your hands together, say out loud "I"m dreaming", focus on your hands, and cement the absolute knowledge that you exist in the dream right now.

2. Say your intentions out loud. "I'm going to meet X around this corner" is a good one. Or ask the dream: "show me my ideal sexual partner".

Confident expectation is your friend.


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