Questions for Rebecca

[Rebecca]

Hi!

I have a problem. I have tried lucid dreaming for a long while, but without success. Even tho I remember my dreams almost every night and sometimes my dreams feel very vivid, I can't seem to ever realize i am dreaming and control my dreams.
I think that is because I'm afraid of having nightmares or hypnagogic hallucinations of monsters. I've read some people tales about their night terrors and stuff, and i am scared of having them, i'm afraid of the fear.
You see, I think my mind is preventing me from having lucid dreams because i know my fears will pop up!
I am afraid to open my eyes and find jeff the killer staring from the window or the dog from smile.jpg to appear from a dark corner.
I am afraid of doing reality checks, because i fear that when I look myself in the mirror i'll se a distorted, monstrous version of miself staring back.
And because of this i KNOW my subconcious will materialize this fears in my lucid dreams... i know i will probably be able to exit the nightmares, but I'm afraid of the feeling of being afraid. Know what I mean?
Yet, I don't want to miss out the opportunity of control my dreams, since my work requires a lot of creativity and it may help me.
Do you think i should give up on lucid dreams? If not, how could I get to relax enough to have them, or have them without my fears coming true?
thanx in advance
(and sorry if my spelling is bad, i'm italian)

Lucid dreaming is an exploration of your inner self. You don't know what you'll find till you get there... but as you already have great expectations of confronting deep-rooted fears than that's probably going to shape your experience.

What's more, if you do have underlying fears and anxieties (say post traumatic stress, or other issues that require therapy) I strongly recommend dealing with those fears in waking life first, before opening yourself up to them in the dream world.

One of the functions of dreaming is to deal with repressed anxieties and so you could be right in thinking that your capacity for lucid dreaming may be limited by your own subconscious self until you deal with those fears. It's hard for me to advise on this subject because I've always had a healthy mindset going into lucid dreaming and can't truly relate to the idea of "inner demons" being "let loose" in the mind. I'm pretty sure that's a cliched way to explain it, such is my limited personal experience of this.

But there is another option to consider. You may be inflating the fears in your mind and using them as the reason for your lack of lucid dreams. Perhaps this is a normal level of fear, and perhaps you haven't achieved lucidity yet for another reason. Maybe you have inadequate self-awareness in your dreams and waking life. A lot of people overlook this aspect, because it's so alien. But I truly believe it plays a major role in lucid dreaming, and meditation is a good way to enhance this skill.

I encourage you to identify your fears - writing them down may help - and meditate on the nature of the anxiety. What are you really afraid of? What's the worst that can happen? How is a dream monster dangerous when it's "just a dream"? And see if you can find some childhood event or invalid belief that is causing you to hold onto a fear that isn't serving you at all. In addition to the sleep disorder articles on my site, Ryan Hurd's website DreamStudies.org is a good resource as it deals with sleep paralysis, night terrors and lucid nightmares in a positive light including the psychological functions behind them.

Remember most fear is fear of the unknown... so shine a light on that which terrifies you.

[Rebecca]

Hi Rebecca, was lying in bed the other night listening to Binaural beats. My mind had wondered of into an imaginary social scenario, then all of a sudden my train of though hit a brick wall.
It was quite disconcerting as I usually have to coax my mind back to the here and now. I seemed unable to regain any imaginary abilities which as a life long day dreamer was a very strange sensation.
I have since watch Jill Taylor's TED video where she talks about shutting down the internal chatter of the left side of the brain. Is this just a natural Part of meditation that I should embrace if/when it happens again?

ps had my first lucid dream the other night using your palm through the hand technique!! amazing!!!! thanks for all your advice

When your mind goes quiet in meditation... embrace it!

This was probably the effect of binaural beats, and this is exactly why I recommend it. You did good.

Congrats on your first lucid dream!

[Doctorjuice]

Hey, I'm going to make an assumption here... and say that you're overthinking things.

The problem with this is you can make inaccurate assumptions. Stick to what you know to be fact, and you won't drive yourself into contradictory conclusions.

For instance, you can indeed have lots of dreams in a 5-hour sleep. If you are sleep deprived from the previous night, you can dive into "REM rebound" (which also commonly happens during afternoon naps) the moment you drop off. It's also true that you have a REM phase at the end of each sleep cycle (lasting around 90-110 mins) so in 5 hours you might well have 3 full sleep cycles, three periods of REM, and multiple dreams. In your 9-hour sleep, you would have had plenty of dreams too - it's just that you're not remembering them. A sleep that is more disturbed (more wake ups) and more conscious (if you're stressed out) will make you feel as if you had lots more dreams than usual - in fact, you're just remembering way more.

As far as WILD goes, if you've only tried it twice, I wouldn't be too concerned. It is hard to get the hang of. It requires strong focus. In fact, I probably practiced WILDs dozens of times before I finally had a lucid dream. When it happened, I though "that was EASY!" yet you wont realize how easy it is to slip into until it happens. Then you can look out for all the appropriate trigger points next time, and you'll be able to decide much sooner whether it's the right moment for a WILD. Timing is everything.

I suggest you practice more silent meditation (try sitting in nature for 20-40 minutes and listening to all the stimulus there while clearing your mind). Or try guided meditation as you go to sleep (this is a nice way to program your non-lucid dreams, just by focusing on a particular person or scenario). I created a lucid dreaming hypnosis MP3 to help people with this goal, it's part of my Fast Track program: http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/lucid-dreaming-fast-track.html

When you're more comfortable with meditation, then return to WILD. You may need to do it 1, 5 or 15 times before you are successful... I wouldn't like to promise as WILD can be the hardest technique to master. However I do find practicing it very peaceful and enjoyable so that there is no such thing as a failed attempt. Playing with this borderland state will expand your awareness of it. Explore your hypnagogia too - mold the images and shape them into primitive dreams. It's all fun and good practice.

Thanks for the kind feedback... I hope you continue to explore the site and learn more about your sleep and dreams so you are well equipped for lucidity.

Yes, I do tend to over think things

Thank you for the well thought out feedback!

Also, I was reading one of your replies about your online businesses. I've been trying to rack my brain for ideas for one. Do you mind telling me a bit about your experience with online businesses? What prompted you to start one in the first place? Were you uncertain at first? What was the learning curve like?

[Rebecca]

Yes, I do tend to over think things

Thank you for the well thought out feedback!

Also, I was reading one of your replies about your online businesses. I've been trying to rack my brain for ideas for one. Do you mind telling me a bit about your experience with online businesses? What prompted you to start one in the first place? Were you uncertain at first? What was the learning curve like?

No problem...

Re online business. I started mine when I got sick of the rat race. I had just emigrated down under and the last thing I wanted to do was get another office job. Fortunately, I found the right tools and education in a program called Site Build It (the easy way to build profitable websites - I'm really no friend of technology when you boil it down). Here's the approach I used to choosing my niche and building my site with SBI: http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/sbi-review.html

That article also leads on to a host of other questions - like the learning curve and difficulties I met along the way - which I think you'll find interesting. Let me know if you have any other questions on it.

[Troy]

Hey Rebecca! So I'm new to your site today, and I'm extremely intrigued by all of the information you have online. Tonight will be the first time for me to actively try to dream lucidly! That being said, I'd like your opinion something.
In the past, I have become conscious rather frequently in my dreams. For example, last night I was interacting with a few of my friends (keep in mind, this was before I found your site and before I decided to put a notebook and pen by my bed, so my recall is rather poor) and right when the conversation took it's most exciting turn, I realized I was dreaming and gained control of the dream. The only thing I wanted to do was hear the next sentence! I tried to wait out the end of the conversation and even tried to let the dream continue, but now that I was conscious, I couldn't really be surprised by anything that was happening. This seems to happen almost every time that I gain lucidity in a dream; I want to keep watching the movie, but now that I'm in control, I kind of piddle around for a minute before giving in and just allowing myself to wake up.
I guess my question for the time being is this: what suggestions might you have for actually reaching the part of dreaming where conversation with the subconscious becomes possible? I'm not too worried about the flying or breathing underwater yet (which I actually have done on occasion), but rather, is there a way to really let the dream continue with my conscious mind playing only a minimal part in affecting the actions of others?
Thanks in advance for your response. I'll be sure to let you know if I have any luck in the next few nights

[Rebecca]

Hey Rebecca! So I'm new to your site today, and I'm extremely intrigued by all of the information you have online. Tonight will be the first time for me to actively try to dream lucidly! That being said, I'd like your opinion something.
In the past, I have become conscious rather frequently in my dreams. For example, last night I was interacting with a few of my friends (keep in mind, this was before I found your site and before I decided to put a notebook and pen by my bed, so my recall is rather poor) and right when the conversation took it's most exciting turn, I realized I was dreaming and gained control of the dream. The only thing I wanted to do was hear the next sentence! I tried to wait out the end of the conversation and even tried to let the dream continue, but now that I was conscious, I couldn't really be surprised by anything that was happening. This seems to happen almost every time that I gain lucidity in a dream; I want to keep watching the movie, but now that I'm in control, I kind of piddle around for a minute before giving in and just allowing myself to wake up.
I guess my question for the time being is this: what suggestions might you have for actually reaching the part of dreaming where conversation with the subconscious becomes possible? I'm not too worried about the flying or breathing underwater yet (which I actually have done on occasion), but rather, is there a way to really let the dream continue with my conscious mind playing only a minimal part in affecting the actions of others?
Thanks in advance for your response. I'll be sure to let you know if I have any luck in the next few nights

I applaud your desire to use lucid dreaming for something more profound than just fulfilment.

This is actually the true meaning of lucid dreaming - it's not primarily about dream control but simply having the conscious clarity of thought to enjoy the dream in a more vivid and meaningful context.

When you become lucid, heighten your awareness (rub your hands together and remind yourself you're dreaming) but refrain from exerting any other conscious will over the dream. I find if I passively explore the dreamscape for a minute (walk round a corner, through a dream door, etc) the dream picks up again on its own and I become wrapped up in the story.

If you're hanging around and still nothing happens, try actively handing the dream back to your subconscious. Say out loud "Show me something that will blow my mind!" or "Take me somewhere really cool!" Tell the dream what you want... not specifically, but that you're open to anything happening.

Or you can go somewhere to deliberately be an observer: go to a city and sit on the top of a building and observe the streets below. Lock onto a dream character you find interesting - and follow them.

Another experiment is to find a portal - a mirror, door or even a wardrobe - and jump through, expecting to find something amazing the other side (perhaps a house from the past, or a spaceship of the future). Having an expectation will admittedly start to shape the result - because you don't want to be standing at the back of an empty wardrobe, not having traveled anywhere! But it opens new possibilities for the subconscious to create a new scene with new characters and developments.

In summary, give the dream a little nudge, keep exploring, and it will resume its own path.

Please, do let me know how you get on!

[3cho]

Hi Rebecca,
I've been wanting to try lucid dreaming for some time now, but I don't quite understand what I'm supposed to do to induce it. Any suggestions?

Thanks

[Sarah]

Hi Rebecca,
I've been wanting to try lucid dreaming for some time now, but I don't quite understand what I'm supposed to do to induce it. Any suggestions?

Thanks

Sorry if this is considered spam! But I also have the same question!! So.. do you have any suggestions on where to start?

[Rebecca]

Hi Rebecca,
I've been wanting to try lucid dreaming for some time now, but I don't quite understand what I'm supposed to do to induce it. Any suggestions?

Thanks

Sorry if this is considered spam! But I also have the same question!! So.. do you have any suggestions on where to start?

Yup! I spent the last four years writing a website dedicated to this subject. Check it out:
http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/

Under Categories in the menu, you'll find Advice For Beginners, plus individual Lucid Dreaming Techniques.

Enjoy

[Dreamcatcher]

Hi Rebecca,

I am practicing the technique called MILD which was introduced By Stephen LaBerge.In his book he says that one of the prerequisites to successful MILD is prospective memory training.

Is it compulsory to practice prospective memory training?

Every night, I wake up in the middle of REM period. I try to recall dream, visualize being lucid, in short I attempt MILD and it isn't successful but on days when I am having difficulty getting to sleep, I get a lucid dream.On such days I don't attempt MILD as such but just think of lucid dreaming.I don't visualize I don't recall dream in the middle of night I'm just trying to sleep because I am tired and need to sleep badly.Im awake for long periods waiting to sleep.

Last night I got an OBE and as lucid dream as well.This is the second time I'm getting an OBE when I am having difficulty getting to sleep although this time I couldn't separate some parts of my body. So I gave up and then happened a lucid dream this is maybe the 5th time a lucid dream has occurred during having a difficulty to sleep period.

The thing is, I'm confused whether I'm a getting lucid dream because of MILD or just because of difficulty in sleeping because When I'm having difficulty having sleeping I think of lucid dreaming and I'm wake for long periods during midnight.Am I attempting some sort MILD with less intention during such nights?.I know somethings working but what? Is it because My diligent MILD attempt isn't successful due to lack of prospective memory training?

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes.