I set my alarm for 4.45am before going to bed at 12.20am. When I woke up at the sound of my alarm, I was able to remember at least three dreams. The first dream involved me and a group of people using our superpowers against an evil thunderous cloud in the sky.
In the second dream, I was mostly an observer of a scenario where past contestants of the reality TV show Big Brother were being reviewed. None of the contestants were real people.
Finally, I was a participant in the third dream and possessed memories of events that never occurred in waking life. I was working in a library (which I don’t in reality) and justified the situation by “recalling” that I heard about the job through my mother and that the interview had gone swimmingly well.
Reliving this dream made me realise that false memory arose in order to justify the nonsensical. The mindlessness of mere dreaming makes us unable to question the reality of what is happening. Instead, upon reflection on an apparently real situation, we unconsciously create false memories that serve to fill in the gaps.
The dominance of our unconscious mind while dreaming is what makes us more open to the abstract and the illogical. It affects our self-awareness, and, as a result, we lose ourselves in the illusion. The experience itself is mediocre compared to the phase as we believe in the lie before us. It is important to differentiate between the case where we are duped by dreams and the situation where we enter the phase but mistake it for wakefulness. In the latter, there is usually a strong or slight suspicion about the surroundings, anomalies cannot hide from our mindful state and waking life memory is present. In the phase, we don’t justify anomalies with false memories and irrational thinking like in dreams - instead, we recognise what is absurd.
There is a correlation between waking life memory and the phase state. The more a dreamer remembers from his real life, the more he/she will approach that entrance to the phase. The dreams that I’ve mentioned so far were all recalled in reverse order. After recording them in my journal, I rehearsed my plan to pay Connor a phase visit in my mind. I went back to bed at 5.15am and fell asleep. I dreamt that a group of Oriental people were teaching me about martial arts.
Suddenly, I remembered my intention to enter the phase and realised that I was dreaming. The dream world became brighter and more vivid. I was in a suburban area and took my time studying nearby buildings under the foggy blue mantle of a delightful sky. I deepened the phase by palpating my limbs and bent down to touch the grit ground beneath my feet. Then, I felt tempted to fly and took off haphazardly towards the deep blue. In midair, I felt curious about what was happening on the ground below so I looked. There were martial artists fighting one another and I had the idea of joining them in order to hone my self-defence skills.
I landed right in the middle of their martial combat and remembered how Bruce Lee used to fight. The men continued to fight one another and occasionally one or two tried to attack me. I blocked kicks and punches that were thrown at me whilst looking out for opportunities to hit their pressure points. Eventually, there were only two of us standing.
The other fighter turned in my direction and glared at me. Like Spiderman, I leaped to the side of a building, and, like a spring, used it to thrust myself towards my opponent. The collision caused me to bounce off the man and hover a perceived 10ft away from him. I felt the friction of my hands rubbing against each other and asked the phase character if he was ready for more. He smirked and gestured me to continue fighting.
The other fighters were back on their feet and exchanging physical blows again. I was intrigued by the way they fought and felt that I was learning something. Mesmerised by the crazy situation I was in, I took a long pause and fell asleep only to falsely awake in bed. I was lying on my stomach while Stacey stroked my hair. She cuddled me and I proceeded to tell her about all the fighting I had done in the phase. Little did I know that I was still in it!
Initially, there was absolutely no way of telling because the bed and my wife pressed against me felt as they should, in my mind, and, the room was no different in appearance except for a strange globular face that sat on top of our stereo. This living object stared at me before closing its eyes. Stacey was still stroking my hair when I asked: “Babe, am I still having hypnopompic hallucinations, even though I’m awake, or am I still dreaming?” - The globe opened its eyes like an evil pumpkin and the stroking of the hair ceased. It hit me then that I was still immersed in the phase and all I needed to do was to get up and move away from my perceived physical stencil.
What I initially took to be my wife, however, jumped on my back, gripped my arms and pressed down against my body. I was unable to move as I heard the cackling of a hag next to my ear. I managed to curb a growing fear by reminding myself that the experience was a hallucination. The cackling was most likely manifested by my acquaintance with the “old hag syndrome” expression that describes frightful experiences during sleep paralysis that involve the perception of evil presences in the room. The truth is that the borderline state between waking and sleeping is the source of the mythical beings we hear about in folklore and legend.
I managed to really wake up, get dressed and take the kids to school. On my way back home, I thought about how I could return to the phase and visit Connor. When I got home, I went straight to bed where my wife was still sleeping. I reached a free-floating state of mind where my consciousness briefly perambulated different stages of sleep. I experienced brief moments in the phase, wakefulness, hypnagogic flashes and dreaming.
I was in a tavern gregariously commiserating with Helen (one of Connor’s grandmothers) on her grandson’s unfortunate condition. She bought me a drink. The last time she did that was at my wedding. Then, the dream took a strange turn. The environment was now a structural hybrid between the tavern and my house. Stacey came down a staircase to tell me that my mother and my stepfather Mark were paying us a visit. I rushed outside and saw them arrive by car. They came as quickly as they went and I decided to use the loo. By this time, the tavern element in the dream was gone and Helen was nowhere to be seen. I also found that there was a blue sofa bed where the toilet should be. I was shocked and asked Stacey what the sofa bed was doing there. She replied: “I don’t know! Your mum and Mark left it there for us.” - It took me a moment before I realised that the whole thing was a dream.
Decidedly, I performed deepening by rubbing the palms of my hands on every surface I could find. As I explored the phase, discovered a small extension to my simulated abode. There was a small barroom with a few red stools where the tavern existed earlier. I opened the front door and found a sunlit suburban area that was completely different from the town we live in.
There was nobody about so I had the idea of materialising a person out of thin air. I held out my hands and pretended to hold a human head. I gazed at the space between my hand palms and concentrated on bringing a head into being. It is worth mentioning that I stood still and was not concerned with fouling. I felt very determined as I tensed my posture and growled through gritted teeth before bellowing out: “I’m in the phase, goddamnit!” - Suddenly, to my amazement, there was an ethereal outline in the shape of an oval between my hands. I continued to will the form to manifest entirely.
The more opaque the object became, the stronger the haptic data grew. As soon as I could feel the shape of a skull with my fingers, a smiling face was recognisable and a bust didn’t take long to form. In a matter of seconds, I had a full-fledged woman kneeling in front of me and resembling Helen. I could breathe life into her, too, just by willing it. I played with her facial expressions by changing them with my mind and even made her senesce swiftly. When I wished to make her plump, a bigger lady with curly brown hair popped into view right next to her.
I remembered my plan to visit Connor and went back inside my house in the hope of finding him there. There was nobody inside. I amplified my tactility and peered at walls in order to maintain the phase before deciding to use translocation to get to Connor. I started running towards the living room and closed my eyes. As I ran with no visibility, I imagined that I was already at Connor’s location. I opened my eyes to find that it was still pitch black but could still hear myself deliberately stomping on the floor. It seemed like only the floor existed, and, by running as far as I did, I would have defied physical laws if it had been in the real world. I extended my arms and felt a wall in front of me.
As I walked along the wall and felt it with my hand, coloured objects aglow with crisp brightness gradually appeared all around me. The surroundings resembled the indoor play area in Connor’s house. I turned around and saw a tall woman wearing a nurse outfit milling about the place. The area she was in looked like a mixture of a hospital room and the actual front room where I usually find Connor when I pay him a visit in waking life.
In fact, the more I approached that area in the phase, the more it resembled his home except for one thing: the entrance was situated where there should only be windows. The nurse looked like Sarah (Connor’s mother) but her hair was short and black instead of long and blonde. She did not acknowledge my presence and soon left the house. As I turned a corner, I found a black couch where Connor was playing. He looked very healthy and had hair on his head. Currently, in reality, the boy is already bald from the chemotherapy he’s receiving. In the phase, a healthy-looking Connor smiled at me.
I told him to lie down on the couch so I could take a look at him. He obliged and lifted up his t-shirt. I placed the tips of my fingers on his stomach and pressed until they sunk into the flesh. Connor cooperated by keeping still and did not complain. I wanted to peer inside his stomach so I tore his torso open with my bare hands. Initially, I was repelled by what I saw. His insides were pale and squishy like raw meat and there was no sign of blood. The boy was still conscious and continued to smile. At one point, he seemed curious about what was inside him as I rummaged through his guts and looked for tumours to remove and throw out.
Suddenly, I regained physical body awareness when my wife simultaneously kicked me in her sleep. I felt happy that I had at least reached Connor in the phase and had almost fulfilled my plan to possibly help with his recovery in the physical world and to test the validity of remote healing. The whole idea of it is hypothetical but that doesn’t stop me from trying it. I feel that I owe it to myself and to Connor.
I was also proud of consciously creating a couple of people in the phase. This experience clearly showed me that expectation plays a strong role in making things happen in the realm of the mind. This was evident in manifesting characters out of the blue as well as finding Connor in a near-replica of his home.
It was 10.10am when I got up. On the way to the bathroom, I noticed the hallway mirror and pondered the nature of the phase. Whenever I separate from the body into an altered version of my house, the mirror is always there, in the same spot, even if its dimensions and appearance differ every time. Its presence in the phase does not require effort on my part to expect it to be there. It is there because I am used to seeing it there every day.
Earlier this week, I visited Connor in waking life twice in a row. It is worth noting that, in both instances, I found him sitting on the couch, in the front room of his home, playing video games. Isn’t this similar to how I found him in the phase? Now let’s imagine that my mother had never given me the large mirror in my hallway and that Michael Raduga advised me to enter the phase and look for one in my phase-simulated abode...
In this case scenario, in order for me to find a mirror, I posit that effortless expectation would no longer apply. If a phaser wants to see something they are not used to seeing or have never seen in real life, more effort on “wishful thinking” is required besides the unconscious power of expectation.
For those of you who don't know, Connor is a lovely 4 year-old boy who's got Neuroblastoma (an aggressive type of childhood cancer). He is also my daughter's boyfriend. The boy needs an antibody treatment which isn't available in the UK. It costs £250,000 and we are already fundraising. Meanwhile, he is getting chemotherapy and regular blood transfusions. We need all the help we can get so please donate and raise awareness. Captain Connor (he loves Marvel superheroes) would really appreciate it. Here he is in this video:
And this is where you can donate. We donate on a regular basis. I hope you enjoyed my experience and my ideas. Thank you!
The Phase = Out-of-body experiences and lucid dreaming (same thing)
Foul = An undesired exit from the phase
Deepening = Using techniques that intensify and prolong the phase usually via sensory amplification
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