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A predictive dream. The Hospital and the Baby
Posted: 08 Jun 2014 04:44
I thought I'd share this one a had a few days back which I had posted elsewhere, its not like what I call my prophecy dreams as it is far more symbolic (where as my prophetic ones usually show actual scenes or make clear announcements in them and they also come with a feeling which I know the thing is going to happen). This predictive dream was not at all clear what it was symbolising till after the event the next day.
Here's the dream (I'll put in the post after this what happened the next day and then the post after how these events tally together).. its the first half of this dream up to the scene shift which is predictive.. after the scene shift thou obviouisly this dream probably then is refering to something else)
Ive just given birth to a premie baby of around 35 weeks gestation. The baby is laying on the bed in something. It is very small and still. I think the medical staff are hiding some bad news from me about the baby.
I see the hospital records laying on the bed. I know Im not supposed to read them but do, I want to know about the baby. I start reading the notes, turns out they are just mine, the babies notes arent here. The records start off by describing me. It starts off "scientifically minded, psychotic, arguementive" , there is about 7 different things, nearly all of it negative (I cant now remember them all thou). I get very upset to read that and decide to leave the hospital.
I get on a lift to leave (I was going to go down). There is a female on the lift, she makes a joke to me about do I want to go and live with her. I tell her I would if I could as I have nowhere else to go but I cant really do that due to my baby being here. She tells me I should be in my hospital bed. Im thinking about things more and change my mind about leaving.
The nurses 40-60 of them, are having a huge shift change over meeting in which the info on each patient is read out. They are doing this in a huge circle. I join them, sitting in a place balancing up with a couple of other nurses (its percarious). Im wearing a red cardigan. They start talking about me and once again say bad things, I get very annoyed at this and start yelling at them. Unfortunately Ive blown my cover by doing this and now I wont be able to get the info I wanted on the baby.
"scene shift some"
Ive done something very bad and feeling very guilty. I had an outburst at the nurses. I go to appoligise and found out its far worst then I thought. I get told I injured several of nurses and had killed another. I feel even more terrible when I hear this and start appologising even more.
The brother of the nurse I had killed is a doctor and is close by, someone has gone to tell him Im here. He comes. Im trying to get him to see Im truely sorry for what was done. He has a trophy of hers, she'd had some great sporting achievements. A big trophy has a photo of her on it. Im looking at it just thinking "sorry, sorry".
I turn myself over to her brother and tell him he can do what he likes to me. I deserve to be punished. At this point I realise Im in a place in which leaves me very vulnerable, others are being tortured at this location and no one seems to stop that from going on. Someone is being dragged along the ground/grass and all her skin is being rubbed off. She's screaming as she's tortured in this way.
He does quite a few strange punishments to me eg There is a pot of this mush food. Into this he puts some cocoa powder but he slips so heaps goes in. He then makes me eat and eat that discusting stuff. Then he puts hot tobasco sauce into it. I do say something at this point and warn him that that sauce I dont do well with and may put me into danger. He responseds by taking some o that sauce out of there. I stay compliant thou to all he does to me the whole time including when he sexually abuses me by doing oral sex on me. I feel uncomfortable with this (cause I didnt get a chance to wash first).
He finally gives up torturing me and appears to possible may be going to let me go. He takes me to the top of some stairs and suddenly he pushes me hard so I'd fall down these (he's trying to kill me), to my shock he thou throws himself down the stairs to kill himself at the same time. He's falling (I think we both were) head first. He puts us neck out at a certain angle as hes falling down the stairs, obviously he's trying to break his neck.
So I grab hold of him tightly, and I try to pull and change his posture as we both are falling. I do not want him to break his neck. I manage to save him and save both of us. He becomes aware at this point that during doing the torture to me, he's fallen in love with me and no longer wants to kill me. Ive fallen in love with him too. He's a good looking attractive guy with light brown hair, fairly tall with a good build, who is usefully beautiful in personality too thou his sisters murder by me had made him a little bitter. Im hoping now that things will be okay. I still see him as like my master to do with as he wishes as I still feel like I owe him for the death.. so just want to make his life the happiest I can do, I owe him that.
He tells me to go back to my hospital room and I do just that, following his wants.
Somewhere in this dream.. I overheard a nurse say they were going to give me drugs as I was psycotic and heard the name of the drug (I forget what now but it was a drug I'd never heard of before).
Re: A predictive dream. The Hospital and the Baby
Posted: 08 Jun 2014 04:51
The day after this dream, I had the following physical thing happen
"Guess who ended up having to be ambulanced the hospital the day after this dream!
I had a doctors appointment yesterday. I didnt take the wheelchair as I thought surely I wouldnt need it as after all my support worker parks right outside the door! and of cause there are seats inside the clinic. I dont even stand at the desk there, my support worker does for me. ***sighs.. how wrong was I about not needing the wheelchair!*** Thou maybe I would of collapsed in it anyway and fallen out if I had been in it.
Thou I could only get a single appointment with the doc (I went there to get the new referal I needed for my specialist).. it lasted what turned out to be a long appointment with the doc (which I had with my legs up the whole time, my doctor provided a stool for me for my legs).
Turned out thou after that appointment I couldnt even make it the 8 metres out of the surgery door and collapsed right near the waiting desk (in front of it which I was passing by to get to the door.. hoping desperately I was going to make it to the car right outside).
More dramas as then whenever they tried to sit me up a bit to try to move me (they were hoping to get me into a wheelchair) from blocking the front surgery desk, my body went into quite full on shaking (near full seizure, my hands started flicking everywhere and slaming into the reception desk) and they had to quickly lay me back down. (I was bawling.. of all places to go down at the surgery, I couldnt have gone down in a worst place).
In the end they decided they'd best leave me there without moving me (Ive no idea what they were doing with patients who need to get to the reception desk while this was going on) .. and my doctor came out (she hadnt been aware all this drama had gone on when I left her room.. I had some surgery urses trying to deal with me) and decided to give me an IV on the floor of the surgery waiting room as she knew I really didnt want to go to hospital. (I guess the people in the waiting room were getting their entertainment for the day esp since I was in a skirt and was wearing a g-string.. till someone covered me by a sheet).
My doctor thou then ran into issues as my body was shutting down and she couldnt get a vein, so she ended up calling for help from more doctors, so we (me, my support worker and her and the 2 or 3 nurses) then got joined by 2 more doctors. One of them finally got the IV into my arm.. but by this stage I was in shaking and about to have a seizure even thou I was collapse on the floor. I think I was starting to go into shock at this point, feeling very cold, my teeth stated chattering (my doctor was going "are you all right?" are you all right?" .. I just wanted to sleep at this point so kept going very quiet). Doctor took my obs where I was on the floor collapsed and my BP bottom reading was 100 and something .. 113?? / 15? .
Cause things got so bad with my body starting to go into circulatory collapse and I guess cause I was also starting to show signs of shock.. my doctor decided I needed to go to hospital at that point so rang the ambulance (I was like.. please dont send me there!.. paranoid due to how bad I can get treated at hospital if I strike a bad ME/CFS/POTS doctor). So my doctor wrote out a letter to give the ambulance people to give to hospital. (My poor support worker went way way over time.. maybe up to an hour due to all this.. and I have her log book here left behind at my home which she is supposed to get her clients to sign).
When the ambulance got there... the ambulance officer didnt listen to that I didnt think I could sit up even for just a couple of seconds (she wanted me to sit up so I could be quickly put onto the stretcher).. so when I then tried, I almost went into a fall seizure again and ended up back on the floor in shakes and close to a pass out. At that point it was decided to get me up on the stretcher using the board. (this incident of me going into such bad shaking scared the paramedic who previously wasnt listening, she then went nervous about me .. realising she didnt know a thing about this illness.. and called my doctor outside to discuss my case).
Hospital drs were good (maybe due to my doctors letter?). I got given one bag of saline IV. Just before that ran out they did a quick laying and standing test (no way could they do that earlier as I couldnt sit).. I didnt see all my results but the nurse in a surprised voice commented on how bad they were. I know my orthostatic hypertension shoot up some in the only 1min test they did. They then gave me a second bag of saline IV I assume cause my results were bad still. After the second bad of saline.. they retested me and for the first time I saw my results actually stable! (I was like Wow.. my body can actually act normally with a couple of bags of saline).
I had to catch a taxi home (not cheap, I really hope these ambulance trips to hospital stops happening so much soon!) which was a bit of a concern seeing how I can react to deodourants (I did tell the taxi company thou when I rang to make sure it was a taxi which hadnt had air fresheners in it). Turned out thankfully the taxi was fine, thou I had a panic as I realised at that point I didnt have my bankcard in my purse and started the think it was stolen at the hospital. The taxi driver actually told me I looked honest and I could pay the money into his bank account tomorrow. (turned out thou I found my bankcard on the cupboard when I got home so was able to pay him). "
For anyone wondering what on earth I have.. see http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-16/queensland-researchers-hopeful-of-chronic-fatigue/5459154?section=qld
Re: A predictive dream. The Hospital and the Baby
Posted: 08 Jun 2014 05:02
Here's how the dream relates to the actual next day experience.
"Here's what it was refering too I think. From this I now know some new symbol meanings for myself.
Ive just given birth to a premie baby of around 35 weeks gestation.The baby is laying on the bed in something. It is very small and still. I think the medical staff are hiding some bad news from me about the baby.
That 35 weeks could tally to when my illness took its last big downhill turn to a new bad baseline?? (I cant remember where it was but its happening and does suddenly turn down at times). The given birth to premie which was still and small, probably relates to the collapse about to happen.. still and not growing cause it hadnt happened yet but born..ready to happen. (Id not been that good all week, had been too ill to be taken out shopping etc).
Staff hiding bad news about the baby could of symbolised a bad thing about to occur if the baby is bad. eg a forwarning of impending severe collapse.
"I see the hospital records laying on the bed. I know Im not supposed to read them but do, I want to know about the baby. I start reading the notes, turns out they are just mine, the babies notes arent here"
This is quite accurate. The hospital dr when she gave me my discharge notes from the short stay ward (late last night), told me I had to take them to my doctor today and that is was extremely important. When I said, I wont be able to do an appointment as I dont have any support time left to get me to my GP again unless I took it out of my shopping time (which I do really need to do as only half my shopping has been got in nearly 2 weeks).. she had a bit of a go about me about how seeing my doctor was more important then food groceries **sigh.. she didnt understand my situaton**.
Anyway, the way she was acting about the important me getting back to my doctor today worried me and I started to wonder if anything was being hidden from me in the sealed hospital discharge letter. So of cause I went and opened it thou I wasnt supposed to be doing so. So that part of my dream is exactly what occurred.
The records start off by describing me. It starts off "scientifically minded, psychotic, arguementive" , there is about 7 different things, nearly all of it negative (I cant now remember them all thou). I get very upset to read that
Interesting my discharge notice lists 8 different health issues (of cause that is all negative being health conditions).. including Aspergers (? scientficially minded?), and it also includes a past wrong diagnoses I got by doctors who didnt understand my other conditions and the symptoms they caused so that rules the wrong diagnoses out (I was diagnosed wrongly by a couple of psychs before lots of my health stuff was figured out by doctors).. and it is a "psych" thing. I really need to get my doctors to get my hospital medical records corrected as that is bound to otherwise affect me getting good treatment at the hospital and explains why occassionally instead of my collapse issue being treated, why instead at times some doctors didnt believe Id had a bad collapse So yeah I got upset last night when I opened it and saw that the hospital has this wrong diagnoses written in its list of many health issues I have.
"I get on a lift to leave (I was going to go down). There is a female on the lift, she makes a joke to me about do I want to go and live with her. I tell her I would if I could as I have nowhere else to go but I cant really do that due to my baby being here. She tells me I should be in my hospital bed. Im thinking about things more and change my mind about leaving."
The collapsed happened when I was LEAVING my doctors room and yeah I went DOWN. All the nurses who came to my aid were FEMALE and we had a bit of debate what to do with me seeing I couldnt get up (had no where to go one could say). I wanted to leave (thou I couldnt) and go home but they were telling me I should go to hospital (so maybe that is why I got a female in this dream, telling me I not to leave but to go back to the hospital bed). In the dream I couldnt leave as my baby was there.. and in real life I couldnt leave due to my collapse (which I think now was represented by "a baby").
If one thinks about this.. a new born baby.. cant go anywhere, is vulnerable.. only able to lay where its ended up. it cant do a thing. Just like me in a collapsed state when im about to pass out.
"Im thinking about things more and change my mind about leaving."
and so I did.. I had no choice but to accept I couldnt go anywhere! and had no choice really but to allow myself to be taken to hospital.
"The nurses 40-60 of them, are having a huge shift change over meeting in which the info on each patient is read out. They are doing this in a huge circle. I join them, sitting in a place balancing up with a couple of other nurses (its percarious).
Im wearing a red cardigan."
40-60 maybe is a subconciousness exaggeration, but there was like a huge number where we were. 3 nurses, 3 doctors, my support worker and when they arrived, 2 paramedics too (9 people) all trying to deal with me in a small space between the front door of the clinic and the reception desk .. so yeah it was like a big crowd (then I guess there must of been quite a few patient onlookers in that waiting room).
The ones tending me were all standing around me (circle?) and talking together trying to discuss what to do of what was a bad (negative) situation. My situation was percarious! (as my circulatory system started shutting down worrying my doctor and others). Interesting in the dream that it was a change over as that is exactly what happened.. there was like a change over from the doctors and nurses tending me, to the paramedics. My info was "read out' one could say to all the others just like in that dream.
Red cardigan.. the colour of danger and my situation had gone dangerous.
"They start talking about me and once again say bad things, I get very annoyed at this and start yelling at them."
This could be about the near arguement (if Id been well enough to argue) I had with the ambulance officer who was insisting I sit up for them to get me onto the stretcher and wouldnt listen to me that I couldnt. At the point the dream shifts.. and from that point I cant make sense of it. My dream possibly is about something completely different at the scene shift point.
(Im thinking about putting a complaint in over that ambulance officer making me worst (another seizure episode) by doing that, im no guinea pig for them to experiment to see what "may" happen, she should of listened!!
One person has suggested to me that the guilt part of my dream may be a warning on proceding about putting in a complaint. So I have to wonder now if I will feel guilty if I put in an offical complaint and an ambulance officer looses their job over it (she put me at risk). Maybe the killing part is representing killing people by killing jobs? (I dont know, its the only idea I can come up with thou that could be entirely be related to something else
Re: A predictive dream. The Hospital and the Baby
Posted: 08 Jun 2014 18:22
Wow Taniaaust1 I am not really able to help much with the dream symbolism, but I wanted to say I am very sorry for all the hardships you went through...
Isn't it sad that one of the biggest threats we can be facing as patients are doctors? As if we didn't have enough on our plates with our physical issues, the ones supposed to help us are the ones we have to fear.
And isn't it somewhat frustrating that the dream symbolism often only becomes clear AFTER we overcome the challenges... At least that's what usually happens for me. Same with real life symbolism/meaning, I usually understand it after I am over a challenge, not while I am struggling in the middle of it and nothing makes sense.
Re: A predictive dream. The Hospital and the Baby
Posted: 09 Jun 2014 00:29
Sounds like you are very good in asking yourself the right questions for each scenario in your dream and therefore you are consciously getting the answers you seek. People are normally unable to ask themselves the questions you are asking in the midst of fear and anxiety. So for you to be going through these things and be able to right down your dream and ask yourself questions as to what each dream scenario mean to you, I would say you are pretty brave. Reading what you have written I do not think fear is a problem for you, keep going. The answers as to the right steps to take that is best for you will always come if you keep asking the questions.
Re: A predictive dream. The Hospital and the Baby
Posted: 09 Jun 2014 14:55
Karin wrote: Isn't it sad that one of the biggest threats we can be facing as patients are doctors? As if we didn't have enough on our plates with our physical issues, the ones supposed to help us are the ones we have to fear.
Yeah, its sad cause I know far more about the health issues I have then 98% of doctors do, who most havent heard of a lot of the medical conditions I have and are too lazy or busy to go and learn.
I think I may have PTSD from my experiences with two doctors (one especially), the state disability service and my health. (I actually have a petition going over the state service not giving me support to get to many of my specialists). Last year I went all year not being able to get to my specialists cause I couldnt get any support to get me there.
You will start to work it out in advance your dreams, if you keep working on your dream interpretations and symbols.
Most of time I know what my dreams are refering to and do know in advance (they really can give me good guidance) but sometimes when new symbols come in (like this baby one).. I get stuck on the meaning and then just have to wait and just hope they will end up making sense. Sometimes that happens, while other times it doesnt.
(I used to have dreams with reptiles and guinea pigs in them, I still dont know what those ones were about!)
Uvita Henville wrote:The answers as to the right steps to take that is best for you will always come if you keep asking the questions.
So true, thanks