I joined on the condition of anonymity. Here is my story and I appreciate anyone who can help:
My first crush did not work out and there were regrettable things that happened. I still cannot forgive myself for what I put that person through. We are now 'friends' but I'm not sure ** really considers me a friend. I don't have the ability to forgive anyone because I cannot forgive myself. Unless ** confirms our friendship, I'll never be able to move on. I have become totally focused on this goal and it has started taking over my dreams. I'm terrified to sleep (the dreams are unbearable), I have little or no appetite, I'm starting to completely lose focus, and I am in a perpetually bad mood (which my friends are resenting me for). I believe the only way to make the dreams stop is to be able to control them by lucid dreaming, but nothing is working for me. I don't know what to do.
I appreciate your reply. Before I reply, your response sparked a question within me, if we are not to use lucid dreaming to escape reality, then what for?
I'm not evading fault, but I'm not to blame for this situation. I never hurt this person directly, however, when we were in school, I had a friend put anon notes in C's locker against my wishes. It was decided I was at fault and the situation went from there. We are becoming friends, and I will have to point blank ask, but it's the reply that I'm terrified of. I cannot bear being banished from C's life again. However, I will lose my sanity if the dreams don't stop, which is why I'm trying to control my dreams by learning to lucid dream.
I really appreciate your input. Thank you for taking an interest.
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