A beginners question

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A beginners question

Postby Richard » 04 Jan 2013 20:41

I've been reading articles, and been searching the forum, but I have a question I can't find anywhere here... I married my wife almost 10 years ago. Marriage, in my opinion, is sharing your life with only one person (and kids, if you can and want to have them). What if I were to have a lucid dream, and I would have sex with someone else, would that be considered cheating?

I'm not sure... what are your opinions on that?

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Re: A beginners question

Postby Summerlander » 05 Jan 2013 04:38

I don't consider it to be cheating. First, you are having sex with no real person. It may feel real when you lucid dream but it can't really be considered as having sex with someone else. You are not putting your wife at risk, there is no chance of catching and passing on STDs, no chance of real pregnancy (how absurd to even mention it) and your wife would be a hypocrite if she says she doesn't have her own fantasies.

We all fantasise. Many of us like to use our imagination and role play. All of us feel attracted to other people besides our partners. It doesn't stop us from loving them. We may be human beings but we are animals too, with impulses.

Think of lucid dreaming as active imagination. Sex with strangers in lucid dreams may even help you to remain faithful and may even spice up your real sex life. You may learn a few tricks, boost your motivation for sexual creativity and wow your wife in bed.

That's my opinion anyway and I'm also married. I've been with my wife for ten years too. 8-)
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

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Re: A beginners question

Postby erichsa » 07 Jan 2013 15:40

if you had sex in a dream,would you realy ejaculate? As youngsters we had wet dreams, but lying next to your wife and you have lucid sex does it show? :)

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Re: A beginners question

Postby HAGART » 09 Jan 2013 06:32

It actually depends on what YOU think.
If you FEEL guilty than you are. If not, than you aren't.

But experiencing a sexual encounter in a dream whether lucid or not... isn't it just vivid porn really? It means nothing. And there is no reason to feel guilty because our minds are very simple and 'cave-man-like' in regular, unconscious dreams and sometimes we can't help it. I believe love for your wife never extinguishes that internal cave man desire and only if you constantly, actively pursue that in your lucid, conscious dreams do you need to question yourself and your faithfulness.

But also a dream-sexual-encounter never extinguishes your love for your wife either. They are two separate things.

So in my opinion it is not unfaithful, and if your wife had a sexual lucid dream about a man would you be concerned? Hey, it happens and it's just a dream. We are only human!
We all have the wool pulled over our eyes, but turtleneck sweaters are so damn comfortable.

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Re: A beginners question

Postby Richard » 11 Jan 2013 17:48

Though I haven't had a (consious) lucid dream yet, I am in the habit of saying to my wife that she can't blame me for what I do when I sleep (as in snoring, venting gas, etc), though in lucid dreams that might be somewhat different, since I am not entirely unconsious. I've thought about it a lot these past days (while trying to get lucid), and decided I don't consider it cheating, and also decided it's definatly not the first thing I will do once I have my first lucid dream.... I am way too curious about talking to my sub-consious.... :lol:

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