Here are some examples:
-In self-hypnosis, I will picture myself walking down a set of stares to a shining blue well that represents my subconscious. But I cannot, for the life of me, get myself to walk logically down the stares. I either can't take a step, or I ... sort of ... lose control of what I'm doing and start doing flips or flailing my arms or walking back up the stares or something. Or my point of view will suddenly twist upside down or something. Or, as I'm walking downwards, I'm stuck doing the same movement over and over again, getting nowhere.
-In dreams, I'll either be just walking or something is chasing me and I cannot walk! Like, I will try to walk, but it feels like my legs are made of lead or are weighted. And I can't run either ... it ... AUGH! I can't explain it! Like ... I'm not in control of my body or something.
-In lucid dreams, walking is just the same. My POV will start having a seizure and spin out of control, or it will go into third person (similar to how you switch 1st and 3rd persons in Skyrim or Minecraft) and my body will be like glitching through the ground. I use the word "glitching" because that's the best way to describe it. I will be like running at a tilt and my body will be all stretched out like an astronaut going into a black hole.
And flying? Forget it! Whenever I fly, same story. I will have a huge weight on my shoulders and my muscles feel like they are straining extremely hard. And that same thing where I lose control of my actions. There is not freedom.
There, that's the best way I can put this problem into words. Hopefully someone understands just what the hell I'm on about.
1. when i try to follow a known but long way inside my head (like for example: going through my way to work), i find myself jumping around - not being able to follow a constant path. i realized that my thoughts tend to leap from one "special" point to another and when i'm not conscious enough, it'd get stuck at a certain point from which many new thoughts emerge. making me think about all kinds of stuff.
i've always assumed that's normal... is it?
2. not being able to move in a dream sounds like a classic nightmare situation to me. although; you mentioned that even simply walking sometimes doesn't work out? weird.
but i don't think that's related to what i've said in the previous passage... but then; i'm not an expert.
3. in my most recent lucid dream i've experienced something similar to what you're describing here.
... i'm standing upon a rooftop and decide to dive down and fly away. i run and as i reach the edge, i make a big jump (like a professional diver). i fall. suddenly i feel that i'm not in control of the dream and that i can't turn my falling into flying! some moments before i hit the ground my thoughts go spinning and with them my view. a second later i find myself back up on the roof...
it was as if i wound back a video. that's the first time something like this happened to me but i'm pretty sure it happened because the lack of stability and/or clarity of my dream/lucidity.
i think what you'll need is some decent stabilization. have you tried - when lucid - to simply observe? just looking at what the dream has got to offer without trying to DO something?
Thanks for the advice; I have never tried that before and I'll give it a go.
eg Maybe your subconsciousness symbolism is more aligned to going upstairs (eg representing moving to higher levels in life being more true for your current situation and it) then going downstairs. This could cause the kind of glitch with going downstairs you are having.
So my suggestion would be to use your own subconsciousness natural expression to help to achieve what you want to achieve. Eg you are going downstairs to try to access your subconsciousness, instead maybe if you tried to go upstairs to say an attic (instead of the basement) to try to symbolise access to "higher knowing or a higher subconsciousness level" you may have more success as it may be more aligned to your subconciousness and what is true for it or what it wishes to do.
Think of the subconciousness as being a thing which also seems to carry a certain will to control you in certain ways, learn to work with it to achieve your goals. Work to understand the symbolic manifestations in your dreams eg One of the reasons why Icant fly currently due to Im certainly not flying in my normal life (my life has a crapful of issues right now which weight me down etc.. burdens)
"I'm stuck doing the same movement over and over again, getting nowhere. "
of cause that could also be your subconciousness expressing something which may be true for you right now, but maybe part of you waking consciousness could also cause such a block if it feels that way eg getting nowhere in life. If so, you should work to change that view to try to remove the block you currently have so to help move past it.
"And flying? Forget it! Whenever I fly, same story. I will have a huge weight on my shoulders and my muscles feel like they are straining extremely hard. And that same thing where I lose control of my actions. There is not freedom. "
That could go along with the symbolic expression of getting nowhere in life or it being hard to get anywhere.
When life changes for you if it's this which is causing this block, the issue should go away (unless you are expecting it to keep happening and then if so it may).
deschainXIX wrote:Thanks for the input and advice! Although I'm not entirely sure it's that, because I'm still relatively young and my life moves extremely fast ... TOO fast, I think.
Yes.. do ignore what I said if it doesnt feel right to you.
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