So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

For all other chat which isn't directly related to lucid dreaming and the world of sleep and dreams.
Vonozar
Posts: 236
Joined: 30 Dec 2012 22:51

So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby Vonozar » 15 Sep 2013 08:31

I have a little bit of a problem here, and so I thought I'd ask for opinions and suggestions on how to handle this. :/ My mom doesn't like me talking about lucid dreaming, my whole family doesn't really. They treat it like it's some weird crazy thing. My mom thinks it's dangerous, even though I've settled all her concerns. She says she "Just doesn't like the idea." Well I've been trying to get her to do it. She's under extreme stress from life, so I want her to have some her time to just do whatever and relieve it since it isn't healthy. She's been saying absolutely not until today when my neighbor with dementia started acting like my grandpa did, which made her worry her brain will not be used enough and she'll end up like them. I suggested lucid dreaming cuse of the increased brain activity when lucid, and she seemed to actually think about it for once. But then later tonight I was working on a drawing I had started, and evil dog I am trying to confront in my dreams. I draw most of the big things from my dreams, so I decided to draw this as well. I had to go do something for my brother, so I left the drawing on the art table thinking I'd be back in a minute. When I came back, my mom was staring at it wide-eyed. She knows I usually draw my lucid dreams, and quickly realized where I got the inspiration. I tried to explain the dog and that I was working on resolving the dog issue in my dreams, explaining how it symbolizes something and I just need to resolve it. She listened, but she was still freaked out. I drew the dog exactly as it is in my dreams, which was very scary, demonic, and downright creepy. I didn't think she would see it. So now basically I'm trying to decide what to do. Any suggestions? And sorry this is so long. XD

[ Post made via Android ] Image

User avatar
tea
Posts: 366
Joined: 22 Feb 2013 12:36

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby tea » 16 Sep 2013 08:44

what do you mean, you're 'trying to decide what to do?'
what are the options?

so far, i can tell you this: your mother probably is a little defensive about lucid dreaming because she cares about your health. i guess you know that. i guess you know that she's afraid something bad could happen to the most important thing in her life.
so, when something like lucid dreaming shows up, it's more than normal for her to be insecure about it.

when i introduced lucid dreaming to my family, my parents (my mum mostly) wasn't that much of a fan either.
i then asked her: "have you ever realized that you're dreaming?"
she said yes and said that she always woke up when that happened.
i was happy that at least she knew that it's possible, but learning to stay in the dream seems like a foreign concept to her.

just like most things in life; you can't force other people to be interested in it. i think it's good that you have told her about it - but now you can't do anything more than just living your life as you like, showing your mum that you know what you are doing, that you don't harm yourself and that she doesn't need to be worried.
when the time has come, lucid dreaming will enter her life as well. but it's up to her.


did this help in any way?
☺ nice, you are a curious one! come, follow me into the rabbit hole if you want to: http://lost-and-fun.tumblr. com/


User avatar
Highlander
Posts: 442
Joined: 14 Mar 2013 00:31
Location: Portugal

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby Highlander » 16 Sep 2013 12:54

I agree with Tea.
I believe you should have gone easy in the first place when telling about LD. Talking about the healing powers and the power of the mind was too much for her. And i guess the "evil dog" drawing didn't help.
I started telling my family only with this:
-"Did it happened to you having a nightmare and you just wanted to wake up?"
-"Yes."
-"That's a lucid dream."
This was simple for them to understand and they didn't freak out. They were happy and interested on finding more.

User avatar
Kman43759
Posts: 160
Joined: 14 Sep 2013 20:29

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby Kman43759 » 16 Sep 2013 21:33

question... why would she think its dangerous?! its not dangerous at all :|
Kman43759's Lucid Dreaming Journey
http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=14621&p=39383#p39383
Dreamers Escape - Kman43759's Lucid Dreaming Forum ( IM NOT TRYING TO TAKE PEOPLE AWAY FROM THIS FORUM!!! I LOVE THIS FORUM)
http://www.dreamersescape.boards.net/

User avatar
tea
Posts: 366
Joined: 22 Feb 2013 12:36

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby tea » 16 Sep 2013 22:30

Kman43759 wrote:question... why would she think its dangerous?! its not dangerous at all :|



probably because it's a way to mess with your psyche. in the end, you are playing around with different kinds of consciousness - it wouldn't surprise me if parents immediately think of problems like schizophrenia or psychosis. but of course, that's due to the fact that they don't know much about lucid dreaming...
☺ nice, you are a curious one! come, follow me into the rabbit hole if you want to: http://lost-and-fun.tumblr. com/


AceOfSpades
Posts: 198
Joined: 21 Jul 2013 19:38

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby AceOfSpades » 17 Sep 2013 02:26

That and some people fear what they don't understand. While lucid dreams have been coined in modern times they have been around since the beginning, so many prejudices against those that had them would also follow until now. Hell it was one of the things that made people mistaking LD'ers as witches during the Salem Trials. Even though we are civilized now, deep down there is always gonna be someone who for some strange, if not stupid reason instinctively feels that something like an LD is bad or dangerous. It's just their nature to fear it.

Vonozar
Posts: 236
Joined: 30 Dec 2012 22:51

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby Vonozar » 19 Sep 2013 01:21

tea wrote: did this help in any way?


Yes, it did. Thanks. :)

Highlander wrote:I agree with Tea.
I believe you should have gone easy in the first place when telling about LD. Talking about the healing powers and the power of the mind was too much for her. And i guess the "evil dog" drawing didn't help.
I started telling my family only with this:
-"Did it happened to you having a nightmare and you just wanted to wake up?"
-"Yes."
-"That's a lucid dream."
This was simple for them to understand and they didn't freak out. They were happy and interested on finding more.


I did in the beginning take it slow with telling her. When she asked a question or had a concern, I would explain things to her. I suppose I have tried a little too hard to get her to understand it at times, but unfortunately there isn't much I can do about that now except maybe stop explaining things as in depth as I do when she asks or sees something like one of my drawings. :/

User avatar
tea
Posts: 366
Joined: 22 Feb 2013 12:36

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby tea » 19 Sep 2013 08:03

Vonozar wrote:I did in the beginning take it slow with telling her. When she asked a question or had a concern, I would explain things to her. I suppose I have tried a little too hard to get her to understand it at times, but unfortunately there isn't much I can do about that now except maybe stop explaining things as in depth as I do when she asks or sees something like one of my drawings. :/


oh well.. i think you should not stop explaining things in detail. the key factor here is where the interest comes from. which means: when you start to explain lucid dreaming because you want them to know, it can lead to disinterest. on the other hand - when someone asks you about it, the interest comes from them, making them more open to what you have to say.
☺ nice, you are a curious one! come, follow me into the rabbit hole if you want to: http://lost-and-fun.tumblr. com/


User avatar
taniaaust1
Posts: 2990
Joined: 07 Feb 2013 15:32
Location: Adelaide, South Australia

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby taniaaust1 » 21 Sep 2013 03:53

I think you should try to respect your mother more about how she feels about this and realise that everyone has their own things you are into and drawn to do, lucid dreaming may not just be your mothers thing.

One also cant get another to properly understand something they just are not into and as long as someone hasnt done LD they will always often carry fears around it (it is natural for humans to fear "the unknown" eg things which confuse them which they havent theirselves done). If your family isnt into LD, I dont understand why you feel a need to push your stuff onto them. Its no different to someone who is into sport, telling you you need to go and play tennis (or whatever sport that person is very into) as after sport is good for relaxing and gets one fit.

If your mother is stressed out (along with having some worries over LD), now wouldnt be a good time for her to be learning LD as fears can manifest and when one is in a bad place in life the subconciousness symbolism may be coming out very badly and put many bad things into her LDs if she were to have them (it may not at all be relaxing to her but rather just more stress). If anything, she'd be better off learning relaxation techniques or meditation.

Be there for you mother but allow her to sort her own stuff out in her own ways. If she herself is interested in LD, you wouldnt need to be pushing her to do it, she'd be happily asking about it (and not just asking in a fear driven way).
The only thing to fear is the fear itself

User avatar
deschainXIX
Posts: 922
Joined: 07 Aug 2013 18:18
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: So...this. (Talking to my mom about LD-ing)

Postby deschainXIX » 23 Sep 2013 22:44

Ugh ... sentimentality ... the thing I hate more than anything else in the world.
Well said.


Return to “Off-Topic”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests