Early morning, around 6:00am, I am dreaming that I am sitting on a chair meditating: this triggers the familiar WILD vibration sensations, which wakes me up (for real). Once awake, I decide to continue meditating, and as I go into the meditative state, it immediately intensifies the vibrations and rushing sounds. These sensations go on for a while, varying in intensity, sometimes getting very rough and intense. At some point I feel the bed sink down quickly while I see the square tiled ceiling become smaller and smaller (note that my ceiling is not square and it is not tiled, so I was already half-way in dream-land). This vibration stage goes on for a very long time, and I cannot seem to achieve the final disconnection and start the WILD.
At some point, I decide I had enough of these crazy sensations, so I decide to give up and go to the kitchen for breakfast. That's when I notice that I am on a dirt road, and as far as I know, there is no dirt road going from my bedroom to my kitchen, LOL. I am in an LD! Finally! I decide to admire the landscape: this dirt road is overlooking a beautiful reddish-colored desert landscape. I am not sure what to do, then I decide to walk down the path, and then I slowly loose lucidity...
(This one just happened a few hours ago.) I wake up at 3:00am again, and can't go back to sleep. So I start to get excited that maybe tonight will be the night where I'll achieve another WILD. I lie down on my back and start meditating. At least two hours passed, because my husband came into the bedroom at 5:00am and I heard him (I often have no idea how much time passed when I am meditating, even though this meditation was not a deep one, my mind was wandering a lot).
At some point after that, I start feeling the body vibrations. I focus my attention on the vibrations, and try to accelerate them. They go from low frequency to high frequency, kind of like a plane propeller slowly spinning and then spinning faster till it gets blurry. As it goes faster, it starts becoming very intense and rough, and then, I swear, I hear a very loud roaring sound just like a jet engine flying from my legs up to my head. At the same time I see a ring of light. I am thinking "Whoohoo, I am about to take off into WILD-land!". BANG, in the blink of an eye, I find myself fully awake in my bed, breathing heavily. [insert favorite swear word here]
I give up and finally fall asleep when the daylight is already starting to show up, and dream about being in the bathroom with my husband. I notice the sink is clogged, then I notice the toilet tank is leaking all around, and the bathroom floor is wet. I get upset about this, but then I realize something: "Wait a minute, the sink in our real bathroom is oval-shaped, whereas that sink I am seeing is square-shaped... Ah-ha, I am dreaming!" With this realization, I remember my LD wish list, and decide to try the various ideas.
Unfortunately, the LD that followed was not as conscious as the previous ones, kind of 'brain fogged', and I don't remember much of it. What I do remember is the following, though I think more than that happened:
- I try to fly up all the way to outer space, but it doesn't work. I then try to find myself in outer space (as opposed to GOING there, I intend to just BE there), but it doesn't work either.
- I find myself in 'the void' (same as my LD#2). I recognize that's where I am, and remember reading that from there I can go anywhere, so I decide to go meet Bashar. Nothing happens but I do see a faint head shape forming in front of me, black and white, that looks a bit like a grey alien. Then it fades out. Again, huge disappointment.
- I am then in another fuzzy dreamscape, and think of the next item on my wish list, which is to meet my higher self. Nothing happens either. That's it.
Interestingly, during this LD I had some degree of body awareness. I could feel my body lying in bed on my left side, on and off. So there was not full sensory input disconnection this time, in contrary to the previous times. Also, I am currently being treated for an intestinal infection, and the antibiotics are making me brain fogged when awake, so maybe that's also what made my LD so 'brain fogged'...
Karin wrote:This vibration stage goes on for a very long time, and I cannot seem to achieve the final disconnection and start the WILD.
You don't have to wait for it to stop. I've done this before, and have some past journals to prove it. But take my word for it, just get up, stand up, and start walking around. You'll still feel vibrations in your head, hard to describe, but I compare it to a long extended yawn. (Not the other symptoms of yawning, but just what your head, mind is doing). Next time you yawn, think about how you feel, and imagine that lasting for a prolonged half a minute. (That's how I describe it). You will be in a dream, walking around, fuzzy, and mentally vibrating, but just keep at it, touch things, leave the house and explore and it eventually stabalizes and settles down. Even without the medications, that is what happens. (In my humble experience of course).
But perhaps the medications would make the whole dream a bit 'foggy' as you call it and never truly get good clarity. I don't know about that, but do know that it's natural for me to be hazy, foggy, and wobbly, at the start of a WILD when I start to move and develop a sense of body, the dream body. (It's kind of like learning how to walk again, and there were times when I actually fell over when trying to take my first steps!)
And I understand you would feel disappointed, heck, I would too. But at least you are becoming more familiar with that crazy transitional period and practice makes perfect, and we learn from past mistakes. I had many failures before my first WILD and still have close calls that fizzle out too, and I bet it will always happen no matter how 'experienced' one thinks they are. Right now, I don't induce them on purpose, and can't help anyone with that, but I get them from time to time, and when it does happen, I have enough experience to know what to do whenever they sporadically happen.
Yes, I'll take these experiences as lessons... It's funny how the two previous WILDs were so effortless, and immediately crystal-clear, and back then I had never even heard of WILDs! I have no idea what to expect... Sometimes ignorance is bliss, then we start overthinking everything and it backfires...
So you mean I can stand up while in the vibration stage, and that won't wake my physical body up, it will just be standing up in a dream? I would never have guessed... I can certainly try that next time...
I am reading several books in parallel right now (not enough time and so much to learn), including one by Buhlman and one by Aardema, and Buhlman recommends that right after the vibratory stage, the dreamer demands 'Clarity Now' several times until the fog dissipates and the consciousness becomes clearer (even though they don't call it the dreamer, I think they call it OBE experiencer or consciousness explorer, but I don't see the difference, I am more and more convinced it is the same thing with different window dressings, we get so stuck in language, kind of like focusing on trees instead of seeing the whole forest).
Strangely, in my last LD, where I would really have needed that clarity suggestion, I forgot all about it...
Anyways, learning by mistakes, as you said!
Karin wrote:So you mean I can stand up while in the vibration stage, and that won't wake my physical body up, it will just be standing up in a dream? I would never have guessed... I can certainly try that next time...
I usually wait for it to stop, and when it does, I realized I am fully asleep now and can get up and move freely. But one time it was lasting a long time, so I just said, heck with this, and I got up and started walking. It surprised me too, because at first it really does seem like you are moving your real body. But it turned out, I was already dreaming the whole time. The bed and bedroom I thought I was in, was already a dream environment, but was almost exactly the same as the one in reality so it fooled me.
I tried yelling, "Clarity Now!", but it never worked for me. But I suppose saying it, and truly feeling, and demanding it are two different things. Dreams respond to our deep feelings and desires, not mere words. For example Primal Yelling has a greater impact on a dream than saying, "Excuse me dream, pardon me, but I would quite like to have some clarity at the moment if you don't mind."
And speaking of words, there are many semantics thrown around, but everyone fails to realize when they are actually talking about the same thing.
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