A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink? The bartender says "For you, no charge"!
And this video;
Although you should skip to the 5:00 minute mark.
[ Post made via DrunkOrangutanTryingToSolveARubik'sCube ]
"David Hasselhoff walks into a bar......................
every morning, and then he stays there until it closes."
- (Gilbert Gottfried)
An elderly man returned from the doctors appointment after finding out he didn't have long to live.
He summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate.
His Doctor, His Priest and His Lawyer
"Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave to be buried with me"
Not long after this he dies.
The three people he gave the money to meet after the funeral The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me on lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested."
The Priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave."
Well the Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing!
"I am surprised at you two breaking your promise to him like that.
I did the right thing !
I wrote a check and threw in the whole amount"
I like these pathetic jokes. I really do 'Relish' them.
They don't all cut the 'Mustard'.
Since I replied I need to come up with one myself, so I'm in a bit of a 'Pickle'.
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
(I almost made a hamburger there!)
I apologize for that, and the Pun Police should be notified, but that last one made me hungry. Hungry for jokes that is!... ( That was the final straw. Now the Joke Police, a larger division that oversees the Pun Police, are knocking at my door. Who's there! )
She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg you, bring him back."
Right then a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says "Excuse me, but, he had a hat!"
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