Jokes

For all other chat which isn't directly related to lucid dreaming and the world of sleep and dreams.
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buildit
Posts: 491
Joined: 23 Sep 2014 04:14
Location: USA

Re: Jokes

Postby buildit » 01 Oct 2014 18:32

JDude wrote:Sorry, I've had that one in me for like, 4 years. I had to get it out. :lol:


I know the feeling.


I used to be a pianist but the flowers never looked right, so I bought an organ and have tulips on it. :D
Is Lucid Dreaming the brains preparation for the next step of human evolution when we can escape the corporeal bond of our bodies?

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HAGART
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Location: CANADA

Re: Jokes

Postby HAGART » 02 Oct 2014 06:39

A lucid dreamer, who's obsessed with lucid dream sex, goes to a psychiatrist. They lay down on the couch and the doctor commences a Rorschach Test. The Dr. shows an ink-blot photo of what appears to be a butterfly and asks the lucid dreamer what it reminds them of. They think long and hard and finally say, "Sex". The Dr. reveals another that seems to be a banana and questions the patient what it reminds them of and again they ponder for a bit and say, "Sex". The psychiatrist then holds up another black and white photo that looks like HAGART. "What does this remind you of?!", the shrink yells. The lucid dreamer calmly replies, "Sex".

Frustrated, the psychiatrist, having made a diagnosis, takes his glasses off, and rubbing his eyes, sighs and explains, "I think you have an obsession with sex."

The lucid dreamer objects, "What do you mean I have the problem? You're the one showing all the dirty pictures!"
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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nesgirl
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Joined: 25 May 2014 23:10

Re: Jokes

Postby nesgirl » 02 Oct 2014 21:45

...
Last edited by nesgirl on 24 May 2015 00:26, edited 1 time in total.
Goodbye forever...
I dare you Summer and Deschain, to find where I am hiding, and try to attack.

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buildit
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Location: USA

Re: Jokes

Postby buildit » 04 Oct 2014 03:09

Man goes to the Yogi and asks for the levels of human awareness to be revealed to him. The yogi says, " vivid dream-aware, lucid dream-semi aware, astral projection-fully aware, normal dream - underware".
Is Lucid Dreaming the brains preparation for the next step of human evolution when we can escape the corporeal bond of our bodies?

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HAGART
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Joined: 05 Jan 2012 21:09
Location: CANADA

Re: Jokes

Postby HAGART » 28 Nov 2014 03:28

QUESTION: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

BEST ANSWER: I don't know and I don't care.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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HAGART
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Joined: 05 Jan 2012 21:09
Location: CANADA

Re: Jokes

Postby HAGART » 10 Dec 2014 22:52

If you were wondering what the flavour of glass is, I tried eating a piece.
It tastes like blood.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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deschainXIX
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Joined: 07 Aug 2013 18:18
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: Jokes

Postby deschainXIX » 11 Dec 2014 01:09

:lol:

[ Post made via iPhone ] Image
Well said.

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Guitar48300
Posts: 1035
Joined: 06 Jun 2012 04:16
Location: Arizona

Re: Jokes

Postby Guitar48300 » 11 Dec 2014 17:38

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted
Roxas: Did you have fun chatting with the ghosts?
Sora: You shouldn't call them "ghosts". Sure something seemed a little off but I'm sure they're still my friends

-KH Re:coded
xat.com/luciddreamers if anyone wants to use it

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Je-Je
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Joined: 26 Mar 2013 12:41
Location: Somewhere in DreamWorld

Re: Jokes

Postby Je-Je » 11 Dec 2014 18:36

Math problem: √(20145X^32x125/√(23416)+132a/f(a)+f(a+20))=125X^23g(a)

-How the teacher see it: 2+2

-How the students see it: 去他媽的自己在你他媽的屁股你這個混蛋傢伙

-How the parents see it: GO BACK TO SCHOOL
I discovered Lucid Dream by watching the film Inception(2012)
Lucid Dream Count: 31+
Normal Dream Count: +∞
Objective: Make 30 Lucid-Dreams this year(2016).

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DesertExplorer
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Joined: 05 Oct 2014 20:44
Location: Xīlà

Re: Jokes

Postby DesertExplorer » 10 Jan 2015 01:19

HAGART wrote:If you were wondering what the flavour of glass is, I tried eating a piece.
It tastes like blood.

It is the only that actually made me laugh.
Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.

~David Gerrold


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