However, as before, I end up paying for it with the frustration of insomnia that such experimentation invites. Seems that the earlier bed time was pushing my luck and all of this EXPECTATION and ANTICIPATION makes it hard to relax and my mind starts doing that thing where it is racing. Something like four hours I'm laying there and not getting anywhere, or to sleep.
This is the usual dilemma: just going to sleep the usual way, falling asleep without knowing it and getting a good night's sleep, no longer ever seems to result in SP or LD. Only when I experiment do I get pale shadows of what I used to have, and pay for it with a bout of insomnia. What to do???
This is why I want to try more of the alarm clock method to wake me up after 4 hours, and/or just pulling an all-nighter or two to sleep deprive myself and then try some naps. Or, galantamine. But in any of these scenarios it seems the quickest way to get to sleep is to NOT attempt any experiments, mind exercises, meditation because the anticipation creates anxiety and keeps me awake. Any ideas??
That said, I did have SOME success last night. I tried to shrug off the insomnia by telling myself it didn't matter, big deal. Then came the alarm going off (where I had not yet slept!) and I hit the snooze button a few times for good measure, then turned it off...
My wife had not yet come home from her once-a-week night-shift and what happened was I seemed to fall asleep and DREAM that she came home and I explained to her how I was up all night, too. Then something strange happened: I lay down on the floor next to the bed by a waste basket. I felt comfortable and like I might finally drift off. I was about to have an Inception-like (minus the action) dream-within-a-dream!
Then came the drool: I had completely forgotten about this accidental "trick" (I can't really call it a technique) that I stumbled upon years ago. As part of entering a lucid state I would imagine myself drooling - but obviously not - and this would be how I would imagine falling peacefully into a deep sleep. Has anyone ever done or experienced this?
So then I entered some nestled dream where I can't remember many plot details. I guess they were not vivid or memorable enough - certainly not frightening - but I DO remember this strange scene where I am still laying on my side and feel.... odd. Somewhat heavy and numb, but not sure if I was paralyzed, because without fear or panic there was no need to try and struggle to escape, and I didn't want to risk breaking out of it.
In this state I noticed this SOUND that got me a little excited. Not the buzzing from my scary childhood SP, but this soft hybrid vocal/electronic humming sound. I focused on it and can best describe it as this sound that some folks (who, unlike me, can whistle) do when they HUM a note WHILE they WHISTLE. It was steady and sounded a bit distant, background, and I couldn't pinpoint the source, but it WAS there.
That was probably the coolest part. But I wish it was more intense and allowed me to go deeper to some other level. Maybe next time. At least, I hope, this is progress!
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