Lucid Nightmare

Tell us about your first lucid dream - and your latest. We want all the juicy details. Also share results of dream challenge experiments.
KatsKlaw
Posts: 1
Joined: 03 Feb 2018 17:32

Lucid Nightmare

Postby KatsKlaw » 03 Feb 2018 18:10

I am posting this dream because it affected me so deeply that I can't get out of the state of anxiety that it provoked. A little background first. I have been a lucid dreamer all my life. I don't know the connection between being left handed and being a lucid dreamer but I always suspected that had something to do with it, at least in part. I remember being able to recur certain dreams, the ability to read text and print within dreams, the ability to jump out of a dream that I didn't like, being able to talk to myself within the dream, being able to dream within a dream or to use my imagination within the dream, and the ability to transition one dream to another, like changing the channel or at least being aware of transitions even if I cant go back to the prior dream, etc. There's also one ability that I was told my grandmother had the ability to do which was to continue a dream from where it left off. She also had the ability to carry the dream into reality at least in a way that would manifest on her skin. For example if she dreamed of a fight she would wake up with scratches or a fire, with burns.

Fast forward, I'm an adult now. I grew up in a cult environment that practices evangelizing. I have 2 children, one is still a minor at 12 years old. Now I get into my dream.

One dream transitions to another. The prior dream was not exciting and I believe I purposely transitioned to the dream I am going to describe. I wanted to add that because during this dream I had the option to leave right away and I chose to stay for reasons I will explain. So at the start of this second dream, I walk into an assembly hall with my two children. I walk further ahead because the assembly has started and we need to find seats. I spot my sister and my niece sitting nearby but there is only one seat available. I tell my children to find seats elsewhere but together. I do not trail them. My oldest is over 18. I trust that they will figure it out. After some time I decide I can't listen to this cult nonsense anymore, so I decide to go off to a conference room with a bed in it and go to sleep. I will add that I know I'm dreaming but I wasn't able to fast forward time. It doesn't work that way. I can change a scenery or even change dreams but I can't move ahead without losing consciousness in the dream. Although my consciousness in the dream is mobile and can view things that are happening or already happened. I might add that In this dream everyone is who they are in my real life. That doesn't always happen. I often change name, race or gender in dreams and I am aware of it.

Anyhow, I go to sleep in this room and at some point my oldest joins me in the bed next to me and we are asleep. I wake up looking for my son after some time has past. Remember I was trying to avoid the cult dribble by sleeping so I let some time pass. I am hysterical looking for my son. I finally go out and I find my "cousin." Mind you, I have never seen this man in real life. I have no real connection to this man outside of my dream. He tells me that he had my son last and he decided to go evangelizing. There was a group of men and young boys that went out in pairs. Since my son was a little older he sent him off with an older man, not known to any of us, and he chose to work with a younger boy since he felt like he had more to offer him and teach him. The rest of the group that is still around begins to chastise him and curse him out and so do I. But my son is nowhere to be found.

Then the dream takes a turn for the worse. I get a call from a man named Mario. I know him vaguely in real life. I knew him when I was younger maybe 15 years ago and our only connection is the faith. He calls me to tell me my son has been injured. He downplays it at first. But it becomes increasingly obvious that my son has been severely injured. It's bad. He tells me he's been burned all over his upper body. I have to coax more of the story out of him. I find out that my brother and my brother in law are at his house with my son they are all watching over him. Turns out the man my son was out preaching with took him back to his house. The house was full of books and letters and he molested him. Then tried to murder him by setting him on fire. The minor details weren't explained but I was able to visualize him lying in the bed burned all over his upper torso and head. I knew I was dreaming but this was my son, even in my dream. I was desperate to get to him and the pain of knowing what happened because of not watching him was agonizing. I begged for Mario to tell me the location but he wouldn't. Partly I assumed because I am being shunned. In real life I am being shunned and in the dream it carries over. So only family can really talk to me. He was making an exception because of the circumstance. He wouldn't tell me where my son was. I go outside frantically trying to find my car all the while trying to get an address. I'm screaming and crying. Begging him. Please let me see my son!!! I kept visualizing him burned all over in agonizing pain calling out for me and the what the man did to him. At this point I kind of remind myself that this is a dream and I don't have to put up with this pain and I struggle to leave the dream. Not that it was difficult to leave because of some fault in my ability. To the contrary, I was able to leave sooner but I felt an obligation to my dream son. I wanted to find him and be there for him. I wanted justice. I tore myself out of the dream by telling my dream self that my real son is well and sleeping in the next room. And then I pulled myself out and woke up. I instantly ran to my son's room and was so thankful. I didn't wake him in real life although I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I love him. I am left with this awful sense that I failed my dream son. Like I want to go back and let him know he's ok that I'm there for him. I started to imagine as I often do that my dreams are portals into the alternate consciousnesses of my consciousness in alternate universes and that the dream was reality in that universe. I can't shake the anxiety of that dream.

Thank you for reading. If you have any insight for me please share freely. I would appreciate it.

Kats

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