My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please hel

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okta87
Posts: 9
Joined: 22 Apr 2012 17:24

My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please hel

Postby okta87 » 22 Apr 2012 17:33

Hello.
Before i start, i would like to apologize for the length of this post, but i need you
to know all my story so you can have a perfect understanding before you give me advices.
Please be patient and read all of this. Thank you.

So, let me start with the beginning. I'm 24. I wanted to have regular lucid dreams because i had
a spontaneous lucid dream in november 2011. I did not induce it. That lucid dream lasted just
a few seconds because it overwhelmed me and made me feel the urge to wake up. That wasn't
the first lucid dream of my life. I remember having a lucid dream in 2009, and even in childhood
and the first teenage year, but i thought these dreams are rare and cannot be induced.
The lucid dream i had in november 2011 made me do some research about lucid dreaming
on the internet. That caused me to have another lucid dream 3 weeks later, in december 2011,
in which i tried to spin, but i got frozen and then i got overwhelmed again and woke up.
I've then tried brainwave entrainment, which gave me 3 consecutive lucid dreams the first
night i tried it. They also were just a few seconds long. A few days later, brainwave
entrainment induced me a 1 hour lucid dream that didn't require stabilization. I don't know
how that happened, because my next lucid dreams were just a few minutes long, at 9 day intervals.
All of these dreams were dream-initiated lucid dreams (DILD). I wanted lucid dreams more
often, so I've started since 1st January 2012 to ask myself if i was dreaming, but without
testing with a certain method if i am actually dreaming. At first i was asking myself the
question at 1 hour intervals, but i was soon doing it more often, and it was more and more
automatic. Since then, i've had about 3 nights per week in which i had lucid dreams.
I say nights per week not lucid dreams per week because in some nights i had 2 or more
lucid dreams. These lucid dreams were just a few minutes long, but they were almost
fully lucid, i had partial control of the dream, and almost full control of my actions.
I have also tried your subliminal video, but that reduced my chances of lucid dreaming,
so after a few days i stopped watching it.
But after a few weeks, brainwave entrainment stopped working, so i stopped using it.
Amazingly, I continued to have about 3 nights per week in which i had lucid dreams, just
by asking myself if i was dreaming. My conscious brain activated in the dream when i asked
myself the question and answered "Yes, i'm dreaming" without testing that with a reality
check method. There were some nights in which, in a dream, i was asking myself if i was
dreaming, but no answered came back and the conscious brain did not activate. But i still
had about 3 nights per week in which i had lucid dreams. I had false awakenings too, but rarely.
Starting February 27th, i decided to make a lucid dream calendar. I wrote the dates, and whether
i had a lucid dream on a certain date or not, and the number of lucid dreams, and the type of the lucid dream.
I was very satisfied with my ability of lucid dreaming. I actually was believing then,
that i have a natural ability of lucid dreaming, maybe because every night i wake up
at the end of every REM sleep naturally. Usually i fall back asleep within minutes, but sometimes
this natural awakening gives me insomnia. But things started to change. On the night of
5 march 2012, i got to sleep but woke up at 3 am. Insomnia. At 4 am i felt a bit drowsy
and i thought i will soon fall asleep. But i didn't fall asleep. I was having intense
hypnagogic images and I also heard a loud humming sound that was overwhelming so I opened
my eyes. But when i closed my eyes, they returned. Eventually i realized that I'm entering
in wake-initiated lucid dreams trough sleep paralysis. The sleep paralysis humming sound
was overwhelming, but not frightening. For 1 hour, from 4 to 5 am, I had multiple
consecutive wake-initiated lucid dreams (WILD). I just had to close my eyes and the WILD
started. After a few minutes I consciously opened my eyes and i woke up. And again,
I closed my eyes and so on. I was no longer experiencing sleep paralysis. Every time I closed
my eyes, the WILD started immediatly. It didn't started as an out of body experience.
Every WILD that night started with some music in my head (i wanted to attach the music file but it's too large )
and some kind of radar image which you see in videogames. I saw the image at the beginning
of every dream for 10 seconds. The music faded out after 30 seconds. In the last lucid dream
i had that night, i was trying to see what happens if i get hit by cars travelling on the
street. I jumped in front of the cars, but i could not get hit, they just bounced me away.
I even reached my arm to one of the speeding cars but the car passed trough my arm and I
barely felt a touch sensation. Then, I got a pistol and shot everyone around me, then i
killed myself. I then saw a white light but i was afraid of what i might see next, so I
consciously woke myself up. But I was experiencing sleep paralysis, I tried to move, but I
couldn't, and again, the overwhelming humming, but this time, a bit different, because this
was the first time in my life when I experienced true sleep paralysis (the one you get
after waking up). Fortunately, I was not afraid of this. I read about this so I moved my
toes and the sleep paralysis stopped. This was the first time in my life I had
a wake-initiated lucid dream, and also the first time I had sleep paralysis.
Well, not one WILD, but at least 15. I didn't do anything to induce these wake-initiated lucid dreams.
I now think killing myself in the last lucid dream I had on March 5th started the chain
reaction that messed up my ability of lucid dreaming, because the next night when i had
a lucid dream, 9th March, i had a semi-lucid dream, meaning that i had partial
control of my actions, and i could not remember what i've planned to do in the lucid dream.
I also had insomnia that night. On March 11th, I had insomnia and sleep paralysis
(not sleep paralysis after waking up, but sleep paralysis before falling asleep in order
to induce a WILD). But it was overwhelming so i stopped it and forced myself not to fall
asleep because i couldn't stand the sound. On 13th march, another semi-lucid, but this time,
i had less clarity of thought. But on 15th March i had a fully lucid dream (DILD), which i
was able to prolong it to at least 10 minutes. It was the first time i was able to fly in
a lucid dream (but sadly, also the only one). I thought my ability of lucid dreaming has
now got back to normal, but i soon found out the opposite. 18th March: near-lucid.
On 19th March something interesting happened. I had a lucid dream in which the subconscious
was telling me a message. The message was repeated, loud and clear: "Malfunction". The next 2 weeks i
didn't have any lucid dreams. Just near lucids, overwhelming sleep paralysis, which i had quite
often, and every time i had to stop it. I also had frequent insomnia. I realized that the
"malfunction" the subconscious warned me is a malfunction of my ability of lucid dreaming.
But a few nights later, in the nights when i had sleep paralysis, I also had false awakenings,
and even false "going to sleeps" (i was dreaming of going to bed in order to sleep so i can
have a lucid dream, and i was really convinced that i am actually going to sleep).
Sleep paralysis became less and less overwhelming these nights so i tried to relax, but
no WILD started. I've concluded that my ability of lucid dreaming is transitioning from
spontaneous DILD to spontaneous WILD. I was also dreaming of sleep paralysis in some
false "going to sleeps". (In the dream, when i was in bed (dream bed) I was hearing the
loud humming sound and i couldn't move my dream body. But that didn't induce a lucid dream,
it either changed the dream, or caused me to wake up.) At the end of March I had some
semi lucids. On 4th april 2012, after 2 weeks of no proper lucid dreaming, i had another WILD.
It started as sleep paralysis (not overwhelming), then I closed my eyes, relaxed, then
I had an out of body experience (OBE). Then the actual lucid dream started in the dream version
of my room. I realized right away that the OBE was actually a dream OBE, not a real one.
The dream was fully lucid and lasted about 5 minutes. I then thought that my ability of
lucid dreaming has restored, but I was wrong again. The next 5 nights i've had sleep
paralysis every night which was not overwhelming so I waited for the lucid dream to start,
but i had no lucid dreams. Sleep paralysis would just stop on its own or the OBE started,
but after i "left" my body, nothing happened, it just jolted me back awake. I've also had
DILDs of 1 second, false awakenings and false "going to sleeps" (which included dreaming of
sleep paralysis) that just added to the frustration. The next week I had sleep paralysis
more rarely, but still it didn't induce a WILD. It just caused me insomnia because, even if
it's no longer overwhelming, it still produces adrenaline, which makes my heart beat
faster for a few minutes, but i can't sleep for an hour. I had some semi-lucids starting
April 13th, and in just 2 of them, i was able to raise the lucidity level a bit so I can have
more control of my actions and thoughts, but these are a bit frustrating too.

So here I am, It's now more than a month since my ability of lucid dreaming is malfunctioning, and
i'm starting to think something like "i wish i haven't started lucid dreaming".
I'm still asking myself if i am dreaming during the day, more often (about once every
few minutes, altough it's a less intense thought). I can't stop this. It's fully automatic.
It's not that disturbing, but i want to stop doing this because i believe it's no longer
necessary. But i don't know how to stop something that has become completely automatic.

Notes:

-In the nights when i have no lucid dreams, i have only normal dreams. Now i'm glad of having
nights of only normal dreams...
-This may not be relevant to the post, but i'm learning to play guitar and i dream very often
of playing guitar. However, these are normal dreams. I never played guitar in a lucid dream.
I had 3 lucid dreams in which guitars appeared but i never played them (in the lucid dreams).
-I didn't have a dream journal and i don't intend having one.
-I don't want to try other lucid dream induction methods.
-This story is real.

QUESTIONS:

-Why is my ability of lucid dreaming malfunctioning?
-How can I stop asking myself if I am dreaming?
-How can I restore my ability of lucid dreaming? I just want my lucid dreaming ability to
get back to normal, like in the good old days, i hate having this malfunctioned lucid dream
ability. Or if that is not possible...
-How can I stop having sleep paralysis, near lucids, semi lucids, false awakenings, and all
other unwanted things and JUST HAVE NORMAL DREAMS EVERY NIGHT!?

okta87
Posts: 9
Joined: 22 Apr 2012 17:24

Re: My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please

Postby okta87 » 28 Apr 2012 12:26

So, let me give you some updates about my lucid dreaming ability:
The last manifestation of my malfunctioned lucid dreaming ability was on Wednesday,
18th April, when I had 2 semi-lucids, and I was able to raise the lucidity level to one
of them, but just a bit. That night i also had a false awakening, but I also had
sleep paralysis 3 times, which didn't start a WILD, it just stopped on its own.
I think i've even dreamed of having sleep paralysis. The next 6 nights i only had normal
dreams and i was glad i had them. Wednesday 25th April I had another WILD. (the previous
WILD i had was 3 weeks before, on Wednesday, 4th April. There was something a bit strange
about this WILD I had on 25 april. I couldn't sleep for 1 hour before it and 1 hour after
it, i don't know why. I think i slept a few minutes during that hour that preceded the
lucid dream because i remember having a normal dream. So I was awake, hoping to fall
asleep when suddendly i thought about lucid dreaming. A few seconds later I entered in
sleep paralysis. That was very unusual. I passed trough sleep paralysis and the
out of body experience very quickly, but i took at least 1 minute until the visual
sensation of the lucid dream started. I was able to move my dream body during that minute,
but i only saw hypnagogic patterns and i had the feeling that was moving my physical body,
but my physical body was paralized. When I was able to see, it looked very realistic.
I've even said in the lucid dream "wow, this looks very realistic". This was the most
realistic lucid dream i have ever had. Not only did it looked very realistic, but it also
felt very realistic, and sometimes i had the feeling that was moving my physical body, or
that I was sleepwalking. Sometimes, i was seeing faint images of me lying in bed moving my
hands, so, in the lucid dream, I've planned, that, when I wake up, to check if my
physical body has moved. I went outside (in the lucid dream), and i felt the wind blowing.
That added more to the realism, because it was the first time i felt the wind blowing in
a lucid dream. I saw 2 dream characters, a woman and my dog, so I went to them and asked
my subconscious the question "what's happened to my lucid dreaming ability?" several times
but they didn't answer. The lucid dream lasted just a few minutes. When i woke up, i've
noticed that my physical body did not move at all. (REM atonia works very good :)) )

However, i still believe that my ability of lucid dreaming is malfunctioned, because
Friday, 27 April I had a semi-lucid of 1 second, and i have dreamed of having sleep paralysis.
First, I had the dream sleep paralysis. I tried to stop it by moving moving my toes.
After it stopped, i woke up, probably because moving my dream body's toes also moved my
physical body's toes. The semi-lucid of one second: i realised that i was dreaming but
after 1 second or 2, i forgot about it, and the dream continued as a normal dream,
it didn't wake me up. Saturday 28 April, i had sleep paralysis then the OBE,
but after a few seconds it jolted me awake. Both these days i had false awakenings.

The false awakenings I had when my lucid dreaming ability was good were vivid.
In half of them i could realize that i am dreaming. But the false awakenings i have now,
when my lucid dreaming ability is malfunctioned, are not vivid, therefore in none of them
I was able to realize that i am dreaming. I also have them more often.
That's why they are frustrating.

I've attached the WILD subconscious music file, i reduced it's file size. This is the music
I heard at the beginning of every consecutive WILD i had on 5 March 2012. I remembered
the music and recreated it in FL Studio, a music making program. Don't turn the volume
too loud when you listen to it.
Attachments
WILD subconscious music -5 march 2012 (LowQ).zip
(231.96 KiB) Downloaded 238 times

okta87
Posts: 9
Joined: 22 Apr 2012 17:24

Re: My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please

Postby okta87 » 06 May 2012 16:36

On 2nd May, i had 3 lucid dreams. 2 DILD and 1 WILD. They were short, about 1 minute.
First, i had a DILD. I was underwater. I tried repeatedly to get out of the water
and after a few minutes i heard my physical body breathing so this triggered the lucidity.
I still tried to get out, and i succeeded, but then i woke up without a reason.
Later, I had the WILD. This time, the TV in the other room was turned on on loud volume.
Again, the sleep paralysis and the OBE passed quickly, and for about 30 seconds the
visual sensation was darker and not very clear. After that it became bright and clear. Only at the beginning I
had the feeling that I was moving my physical body, this WILD wasn't as realistic as my
previous one. During this time I still heard the sound from the TV in the other room,
but that didn't influence my dream at all. (In normal dreams, sounds from the TV would
interpret into my dream and influence its content). The OBE i have at the beginning of
WILDs isn't actually an OBE, because, in this WILD I looked at the bed after i left it
and i didn't see my body lying in it.
I'm also able to pass trough doors and walls in WILDs (that start as OBEs, i wasn't able to
pass trough walls and doors in the WILDs i had in 5 march, they didn't started as OBEs).
That's what i did in this dream. I passed trough the door of my room directly.
(Actually, in all of my WILDs that start as OBEs i passed trough stuff. I was also able
to pass trough windows in the DILD i had on 15 March.)
Later, another DILD. Nothing triggered the lucidity. I became lucid without any reason.
These lucid dreams gave me a bit of insomnia. I also had a hypnic jerk early in the morning
when I was trying to fall asleep. This was very unusual because I always have my hypnic
jerks at the beginning of my sleep, when I go to bed. I don't have hypnic jerks every night.

On 4th May, I had a bit of a nightmare. It was not very terrifying, but still it was a bad dream.
But something interesting happened. In the middle of the bad events that occurred in the
dream, without knowing that i am dreaming, i said "I want to wake up". That made me
realise that i am dreaming and i said again "I want to wake up" and i forced myself to wake up.
I don't remember the dream, but i think someone was about to stab me just before i woke up.
I don't force myself to wake up in a lucid dream unless i had a good reason to do it.
This kind of event happened on 15 and 19 March. I was in a nightmare/bad dream and said
"I wish this was just a dream". That made me realise that i am dreaming and i forced myself to wake up.
But I also had good lucid dreams on 15 and 19 March. But this time on 4 May, i didn't.
Instead, I had insomnia, probably because of some worrries.
The same type of event also happened the first time i asked myself if i was dreaming
in a dream and the answer came back as "yes". It was on 5 January, 4 days after i started
asking myself if i'm dreaming during the day. On 5 January, i had multiple consecutive false
awakenings that turned into nightmares, then into lucid dreams. So, I had false awakenings,
everything was calm for a few minutes, then something horrible happened. But then,
something interesting happened that night. I saw the text in front of my dream eyes, it
said "Am I Dreaming?" a few seconds later, the text "Yes" appeared under it, and i became
lucid. That happened in every false awakening that night. I had to wake myself up everytime
because i couldn't control the dreams.
But in a dream i had in January or February, I was being attacked by a dog, and it jumped
into my arms and tried to bite me, but i managed to hold it, then, i said "I know i'm dreaming"
and instantly became lucid. The dog stopped barking and I threw it away and continued
with the lucid dream.
Oh and, guess what happend on 6th May. I had a semi-lucid of 1 second followed by a
false awakening. I realised that I was dreaming but something made me feel the urge to
wake up. I tried to resist it but i couldn't. Therefore, I didn't wake up, i had a false
awakening.

From this, I can conclude that the malfunctions of my lucid dream ability are beginning
to occur more rarely, and that acceptable lucid dreaming occurs more often, but I still
need some answers from you, especially from Rebecca, as I still don't know why is this
happening to me.

During the day, I'm asking myself if i am dreaming less often and less
intense now, that it's beginning to become barely noticeable.

PS: I see you are not replying. This is my last message, but i hope somebody will reply and give me an advice

Jonathan D
Posts: 1
Joined: 24 May 2012 16:38

Re: My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please

Postby Jonathan D » 24 May 2012 16:50

Well I am not very experienced with lucid dreaming as I had my first experience last night, but have you tried self meditation? Also sleeping on your side usually prevents sleep paralysis, from what I've read at least, I am actually trying to WILD but have no success, I'm sure if you go to some sort of doctor they can get you some pretty strong sleep meds, sorry if I was no help

okta87
Posts: 9
Joined: 22 Apr 2012 17:24

Re: My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please

Postby okta87 » 26 May 2012 15:31

hey, i don't have a problem with sleep paralysis. in fact now, i do no longer experience these malfunctions, but my lucid dreams are unpredictable and a bit more rarely

McKings
Posts: 1
Joined: 08 Jun 2012 01:14

Re: My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please

Postby McKings » 08 Jun 2012 01:32

I have tried to Lucid Dream.. I dont even dream , or none that I am aware of ..I cant tell if it is a malfunction or just not being able to dream period...does anyone know?

:|

okta87
Posts: 9
Joined: 22 Apr 2012 17:24

Re: My ability of lucid dreaming is "malfunctioning". Please

Postby okta87 » 09 Jun 2012 18:26

you dream but you don't remeber


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