I've been a lucid dreamer - as in conscious awareness that I was dreaming - ever since I can remember, but it wasn't until 3 nights ago that I actually controlled something in my dream. This blew my mind, so I googled "dream control" and found this sight.
I've been having terrible nightmares for several weeks, and 3 nights ago, I finally started to have a good dream. I remember consciously thinking, "Oh, finally, a good dream, thank goodness." And I just enjoyed it and let it happen. Then something started to go bad...one of the people in my dream started twitching, kind of like Jacob's Ladder type of creatures, and I remember thinking, "Oh crap, he's about to turn into some kind of weird zombie thing and ruin this nice dream. Well, I'm not going to let that happen." I got really mad and kicked him across the room. He flew back and just dissolved when he hit the ground and was gone. I suddenly felt this enormous sense of empowerment and thought, "Geez, I just made something happen in my dream," and then my alarm went off and I woke.
I spent some time that day googling and reading about lucid dreaming...I realized that I've often had dreams where I was aware that i was dreaming, but I didn't control anything in the dream...I didn't think I could. Since I had just spontaneously discovered that I could, in fact, make things happen in my dreams, I was very excited at what might lay ahead. That night, I woke in the middle of the night and was up for a couple of hours, and again, was reading about lucid dreaming. I finally went back to sleep at 4am and had the most amazing lucid dream ever for me. I immediately knew I was dreaming and was just giddy at the realization that I was consciously aware and could start to control my dream. I decided to do a physical check, so I looked at my hand and it looked normal. So, I put my hand through a wall, and yep, it went through. I was just giggling and excited and started bouncing around. I was in a large, museum type of room. I decided to see if I could bounce to the ceiling, and yep, I could. Then I flew around the room some and that was fun. Then I realized that I really wanted to fly outside, but I didn't know how to get out of the room. So, I looked at the ceiling and thought, "Well, if my hand can go through a wall, then I'll just crawl out through the ceiling." So, I did. I vividly remember my body being so weighless, and it just took a little effort to push through the ceiling and then pop out on top of the roof. So, I stood up on the roof and saw this beautiful, New England countryside, and I just ran and jumped off the roof and flew through the air. I was so overwhelmed with happiness and the feeling of freedom that I felt, and I started sobbing, in a happy way. Then I started thinking about how I had to tell everyone about this, and then I suddenly woke. I'm guessing that thinking about telling people what I was experiencing startled my conscious mind too much? I don't know. What do you think? So, needless to say, i woke up feeling great. However, last night, I was overthinking everything, and I know that's why I can't even remember dreaming, much less having a lucid dream. One thing I allowed to stress me out is that I started getting scared of having a lucid dream that I CAN'T control, and then I thought of the horrible nightmares I've had. What if I have a lucid nightmare, can't control it, and can't wake up? Rationally, I know that's not possible, that we can wake ourselves up...but what if the fear overrides my knowledge that I can wake myself up? The fear of "What if?" just kept eating at me, and now I'm afraid that my lucid dream control days are done. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you get over it?
Another thing I'm scared of is sleep paralysis. I never knew this term until 2 days ago, but I've experienced it many times in my life, and it's terrifying. I've had several instances just in the last few years of my adult like where I've woken up consciously but couldn't move my body. I try over and over the make my physical body move, and I can see as if looking through my body's eyes, and I thought that my eyes were, in fact, open, but i couldn't speak or move my body. I would try to SO HARD to move my body and mentally start to panic. Most of the time, for what seems like several minutes, I think that I must be in a coma and that maybe I'll never move again. Then I remember that this has happened before, and that I do eventually move again. So, the panic subsides a little and I just wait...I guess I usually go back to sleep for a few minutes, and then I actually wake up and feel like I've just been through a major, traumatic event. The weird thing is that I wouldn't have even labeled that as a dream until i read about this "sleep paralysis." Has anyone else experienced this? What methods do you use to control it?
So, there's my story and those are my questions. I'm really excited about what this new skill I've happened upon has in store for me in the future. Circumstances in my life are actually pretty rough, and to get some relief during the night through have controlled, lucid dreams sounds great...actually, too good to be true...and I don't want to talk my brain into thinking that I can't ever do this again because of fear, etc. So, that's why I need some help. I would love to eventually do mutual lucid dreaming...has anyone reading this ever experienced that? How do you connect with someone?
Ok, sorry for the long post, I just have so many questions about this new thing that is so amazing and is blowing my mind!
As for sleep paralysis, I have had it happen occasionally but because I know what it is I use it to my advantage, in fact I look forward to it because it usually leads into strange interesting dreams. Instead of trying to move I forget aobut my body completely and just focus on the hypnogia images, those are usually really intense at this stage and usually distract me from the whole paralysis problem
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