My False Awakenings

by Ronnie
(Arizona)

I have had false awakenings all my life but did not realize that other people did too. They started when I was a child and were never a positive experience. I described them then as "dreaming that I was awake". I lost many hours of sleep as a child and as a teenager trying to stay awake to keep from having them.

In all of them I would wake up in my bed as normal but would suddenly be overcome with a feeling of apprehension. Something "bad" was about to happen. Some were accompanied by sleep paralysis.

In the earliest occurrences I would begin to wander around the house trying to understand what was going on. Eventually something terrible would happen. In one I remember that there was a blanket draped over a chair. I noticed that the reflection of the blanket in the mirror was shaped like a dogs head. I shrugged it off at first but then the "dog reflection" opened it's eyes. It began to draw me towards the window. I floated right through the glass and into some other world. I woke screaming.

Eventually I got to where I had a really hard time knowing whether or not I was awake first thing in the morning. When I got to where I could recognize the dreams for what they were I would try to make my "real" body scream or thrash around to wake someone else in the house.
There was always a feeling that something was coming. Some evil power or being was getting closer with each dream.

I often would wake from a false awakening only to be in another false awakening. It was pretty horrible.

When I was about 17 I fell asleep on the floor doing my math homework. My stereo was next to me. I woke up and realized that the thing that had been haunting me was right outside the door. It was finally time. I didn't know what it was but it wore a crown. I don't know how I knew that it did but it was just a fact that I knew. I had no choice but to face it. I reached over and turned on the stereo, turned it up loud, got all pumped up and opened the door.

I woke up and stopped having them for years. In my youth I truly believed that there was some power trying to get me and that having faced it I had driven it away.

I am now 34 years old and I have started having them again. Two nights ago I woke 5 times in a row only to find I was "dreaming I was awake".
I found this site in my search for help.

I don't expect you to help me, I just saw that there was a space to tell my story and thought that telling it might help me. Thanks.