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Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 01 Jan 2018 21:20

I keep going back and forth deciding did I make an embarassement of my self or can most of that be turned into a chisled, golden perfection.

Oh well. Like some dude said, (I know it's Earnest Hemmingway, and I don't want to name drop because that makes the quote ficticious like all of reality. I mean, Hitler was a human. Let's accept that. It's just a blame game.

"the first draft is always shit"

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 01 Jan 2018 21:34
Fruition creates fruit.
But it's a tree that grew out of shit.

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 01:06
by Summerlander
It is hard for any of us to escape the inner persuasion manifest as an epistemic sense that combines conceptual elements of phenomenalism and idealism. Never will we escape the anthropic bias; our species are philosophically doomed to being incapable of directly perceiving Francis Herbert Bradley's Absolute.

There is ample proof that mental appearances misrepresent reality. Such mental misrepresentations multicolour our world view. If you dare to delve into epistemology, you will realise how much reality mocks us---and there is nobody there to blame because it is all natural.

This animation illustrates a glimpse of what our world is really like:

This is a necessary preliminary to my imminent existential rant ... :mrgreen:

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 01:33
I woke up so cold and alone. I have shivers now. I feel embarrassed.
But I do have family. I can rant and not feel all alone with them, and shiver and yea, let's just say alcohol withdrawl is a bitch, and if and when I get myself together, I can write another time.

I am dilerius at the moment.

But I do have a mother to bitch and complain with and apologies and we are working stuff out in the end.

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 02:18
I am starting to feel better. I smoked a little bit of weed, but why is it called a weed when it's a fruit.

It makes you step back and look at the big picture. I can see that I am at my lowest point in life, and although I can't word it all the best way, I have to let it be.

What happens is, every new year we reflect and see ourselves in the mirror. I didn't like my inner reflection. I can't break the glass and run away in disgust.

I may have to brood for a while. I told my mother I'm going through alchohol withdrawl and will experience a loss of GABA again. I have a real life to attend to. But man, it is very helpful to see a reply from you Summerlander. Sometimes we are just emotional beasts that need a friend. I'll have to sort this out.

And that's what this is for. I don't feel embarrassed about it.

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 02:21
And the inner reflection is a koleidascope to comprehend. That gives me anxiety, but I will be back. My body and brain isn't agreeing with me at the moment.

Fuck spelling.
That will be the title of my new book. :lol:

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 02:32
This is just an idea journal.

I will testify that a little bit of THC and CBD calms the mind.

I wrestle with many things. Always a polar opposite wrestling match of the mind. I needed a referee.

I sometimes wrestle with the idea of "did I say too much or not enough", but realize, I have a little corner in the off topic section. I ain't bothering anyone. Everything's gonna be OK.

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 02:41
I just admitted to my mother that I smoke pot and it's ok and she needs to except that. I was hiding and running away, and yea, this is a bombshell, but let's blow up and see the fireworks happen.

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 03:03
I am reeling between whether that was a good idea or not, but I know we have to be honest and be ourselves and not run and hide from our mothers. I am frustrated that I am way smarter than her and aware. But we are all given variables and we just need to piece it together.

I love this. This should be taught in Sunday school.

I will watch more clips. This movie hits so many nails on the head.

Re: Existential Rant Place

Posted: 02 Jan 2018 03:16
(Scenes from waking life that speaks for me better)

This sums up everything and says nothing at all. This is what it's like, but I am not alone.