I just had a conversation with someone on reddit that reminded me of a conversation I had with you guys about how the only ways I know of to save chronic bullying victims is to either
- Remove them from the school system(home school)
- Teach them how to fight(and the willingness to go for it)
This is primarily going to be about option #2
Allow me to share a blog post by Rory Miller(an excellent self-defense instructor IMO)discussing this very topic:
Everything he says here I can definitely resonate with. The only ways I know of to deter serious bullies is to either be invisible("not interesting enough to be messed with") or be an "expensive victim".
Social skills and the like are good for achieving invisibility to bullies. Not so much when you've already been selected,and/or there's just something about you that seems to consistenly attract their attention. (Unless your friends are willing to band together with you to beat the bully/bullies up. but that's rare,I've never seen it happen personally).
In this case,violence. or the "threat of violence" (having/showing the willingness to engage)may be the only thing that will help you.
The question then becomes; What's better for the child? To avoid the entire problem altogether and put them in a home school system? (perhaps getting some professional help/advice to help develop their social skills)
Or teach them how to physically handle themselves and then have them engage the bully at school?
It would seem both approaches may have their pros and cons. Option #2,if successful,could teach them the value of bravery and standing up for oneself.
But its really risky,not just because of the fight itself,but because the school/society may punish them for standing up. (The ineffective "zero tolerance policies" in school. That redditor I spoke revealed to me that he was once seriously beaten up by 6 bullies resulting in hospitalization. The bullies got away with it scot free. How the hell do you excuse this kind of shit?).
If unsuccessful,there may very well be serious and permanent psychological/emotional consequences.
Rory Miller got into this type of topic in his other post here:
I'd certainly like to hear your thoughts/opinions regarding the topic.
Really depends on the circumstances. But you can do both. Temporarily remove the victim from the school system and while homeschooling them,perhaps have them attend a high quality self-defense/Martial arts program (Gracie Combatives/Bullyproof is good,then maybe supplement it with boxing/muay thai training or,if its within your reach,a high quality Adrenal stress training program like Peyton Quinn's RMCAT program and the like) so that if they ever have to return to the traditional school system,they'll at least have the tools to handle the problem.
Force against bullies worked in my case,despite my lack of any combat/self-defense/martial arts training,I'm a naturally big,strong person and quite a bit of a dirty bastard and that was thankfully enough to prevail most of my encounters. I realize however that not everyone is in that same position and may require a bit of a different solution. (Take note however that this is not a replacement to learning good social skills. Even though I was frequently violent as a child,I still got shunned because I didn't know how to get along with others well at the time. again,I'm not saying every chronic bullying victim suffers from this problem,but many do and needless to say,its like a magnet attractor to bullies.)