Confused

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Ariela
Posts: 3
Joined: 12 Jul 2018 13:03

Confused

Postby Ariela » 12 Jul 2018 13:44

Hi everyone :)

I'm new here, and first time exploring lucid dreams on Internet. Let me tell you my story. I have been lucid dreaming since I was four. I was so scared and confused and with my little kid vocabulary, I could never explained to anyone what was I so very scared about. Then I found out the way to wake myself up. I would jump down the buildings and then wake up before I would reach the ground. But it didn't work for long. After I had this little shake of a head and I would wake up. Anyway, I've changed many methods, but my dreams got crazier and crazier. I can control everything, I have my own cities that doesn't exist outside my world, my islands, my homes, even my people who react like:"There you are!" when I don't dream them for some time. I always fly and I always carry people on my back cause nobody can fly exepct me and if we need to escape. I'm always telling them how I'm wasting my time saving them cause they are not real anyway but I just feel so bad about leaving them behind haha. I know I can't get hurt, but my dreams have come to a point where they are so real that I'm not thinking nothing's going to happen. Yes, I know I have an exit if it gets too dangerous, I simply use my method of waking up and I there I am, safe in my bed. But the thing is, when I dream, I think I'm in my universe and I know I'm laying in my bed in my room and everything about my life, but it's like another reality to which I escape if I must, but I always try not to. I prefer that universe better, and I stopped telling people they aren't real, I'm more like "Too bad you live only here, I will miss you in the morning." It is such a well developed reality and it feels more real than this world, all the feelings and smells and colors and sounds; sometimes I wake up crying or laughing out loud! the best thing is when I fall asleep, I "wake up" in the lowest story of my mind and I can climb up wherever I want. Like I have doors and each present their own universe and I can pick my adventure. It sound beautiful and it is, but sometimes it gets more serious, like I am stuck at that bottom and I can't climb up. I hear voices telling me they are sending me to dream war with all the other dreamers and that they cut off my methods of waking up and then I really can't wake up. Once I was trying to wake up for 15 minutes, I felt my heart is going to stop from such force and panic. I woke up so so tired and my heart was hurting for days. Once that voice was so deep and loud I was begging it to stop and when I woke up, my ears hurt like and I felt like they are going to explode and it lasted for hours.. Of course, sleep paralysis is often there, mostly it is the point before going at the bottom of my mind and picking a dream. Also, sometimes in dream passes much more time, like months and when I wake up, I am so full of memories and experience I cannot adapt to this real world for hours at the time and days after, I'm still lost. I see people I saw the day before and cry to them because I missed them so much, It's crazy. The point is, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I live so much and so full because I live in two worlds and sometimes it is too overwhelming. I need a break from my mind at least one night or a day. I cannot focus on this reality since I'm always tired and confused and I feel like I'm losing so many people and opportunities cause I don't treat this world so serious. I want to hear an explanation, why does this happen to me, why do I dream so realistically, is there any theories or beliefs that would calm me down or at least just explain that to me? I know the science behind it, but this is to much to not have at least a reason. I want to have a normal life, but I wouldn't want to give up on my world. I guess it would help me at least to know that there is a reason behind it and not the simple fact that that's how it is and to deal with it. I'm scared and confused, it has been going on for all my life and it only gets stronger. Can anyone help me?

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R99
Posts: 437
Joined: 14 Nov 2011 07:53
Location: Where Fiction collides Reality

Re: Confused

Postby R99 » 12 Jul 2018 18:44

Am not pro.. Its been only 7 years since I got in LD. Because of my work schedule I cannot concentrate on dream world. I got so many questions to ask since you are good at this. But first let me try to help you with just one question. Did you ever met your subconscious?
"A curious mind cannot be afraid of Unknown. It searches for the answers untill the end of time."

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Shynia
Posts: 20
Joined: 10 Jul 2018 13:00

Re: Confused

Postby Shynia » 12 Jul 2018 19:31

Hello Ariela and welocme.

May I ask you first how old you are and what you do all day long (study, work, else)? Because the exact same thing happened to me.
I, too, was about 4 or 5 when I realized I can dream lucid (of course I didn't know the term and I also just enjoyed everything, not knowing the possibilities, only using it as a method to be able to fly). It got more and more intense the older I got, with it's peak during puberty. Then I started (like you) building my own realities, even just enjoying and exploring what my mind threw at me. I didn't know the WILD or any other method to forcing my lucidity, I suffered from time to time from sleep paralysis but that too, I didn't know what it was called and no one could help me with it. The internet was young, youtube had like five clips on it (oh my, I feel old). So I had no possibility to research this kind of stuff and allthough I told my family and friends, no one knew lucidity or paralysis. I just kept to myself and I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. Sometimes I skipped school just to be able to be in my world. Of course it affected my real life in a not really good way but you'll surely understand me when I say it was like a drug.
And then, it stopped. It stopped really abruptly when I started to smoke. At that point I didn't know the reason and I didn't care because I moved in with my boyfriend and I was working a lot, being always super tired in the evening, falling asleep on the sofa etc.
That was when I was around 18/19/20 years old.
Now, with lots of experience later I know the reason. Smoking made me tired (not talking about cigarettes, mind you :lol: ) and so did my whole life. I had less free time, I got up earlier, had to work a tiring job (not physically but my mind got tired) and when I slept, I really was knocked out. Sometimes I couldn't remember anything in the morning. I was sad at first, remembering my adventures and all. But I realised how addictive and bad it was, it lessened the pain of loss.

Now, btw I'm 30, married and have a son, no smoking and no bad habits at all (except gaming maybe ;) ), I have a healthy "sleep-life". Sometimes too tired to even dream, sometimes allowing myself to have an adventure, sometimes just letting it happen, whatever comes. I think your life needs to be balanced to be able to not abuse lucidity, that was not the case when I was a teenager, so I hope I could give you a little advice. Of course I know too little of your life and habits, age and surroundings, family and friends. But try it, go and make sport for a whole day, make yourself really, really tired and feel how you fall asleep while your head hasn't hit the pillow. Works like magic :lol:

Ariela
Posts: 3
Joined: 12 Jul 2018 13:03

Re: Confused

Postby Ariela » 12 Jul 2018 19:51

Hi, thank you for replying. I have no idea what meeting my subconcious means,I actually don't know any terms, this is my first time searching for definitions on the Internet. But this "bottom of my mind" is in my dream universe presented as a subconcious part of me, where I'm free before climbing stories and choosing a reality. Once, the place was dusty and looked like desert with no way out and some voice was telling that is my subconscious and that's how my naked soul looked. Also, I was told I cannot escape once I saw that depth of me and I was just flying around for years in a dream time haha, but eventually woke up really sad and scared. A definite trauma! I don't know if it is related to meeting my subconsious though.

Ariela
Posts: 3
Joined: 12 Jul 2018 13:03

Re: Confused

Postby Ariela » 12 Jul 2018 19:54

Hello, thank you for replying. I'm not sure if I am replying correctly haha, hope you are going to see this. I am 23, I am student and I have many hobbies like sport and acting, but now, during a summer, I am working in a restoraunt, double shifts, and I am always tired! I was smoking weed for couple of years but stopped since it started affecting my reality and did not help with dreams. So that's not solution either unfortunately. :/

User avatar
R99
Posts: 437
Joined: 14 Nov 2011 07:53
Location: Where Fiction collides Reality

Re: Confused

Postby R99 » 13 Jul 2018 08:23

Ariela wrote:Hi, thank you for replying. I have no idea what meeting my subconcious means,I actually don't know any terms, this is my first time searching for definitions on the Internet. But this "bottom of my mind" is in my dream universe presented as a subconcious part of me, where I'm free before climbing stories and choosing a reality. Once, the place was dusty and looked like desert with no way out and some voice was telling that is my subconscious and that's how my naked soul looked. Also, I was told I cannot escape once I saw that depth of me and I was just flying around for years in a dream time haha, but eventually woke up really sad and scared. A definite trauma! I don't know if it is related to meeting my subconsious though.


So you are a pro with no proper guidance or research. Once you know about what you are dealing with, it would be easy for you to control your lucid world and make positive outcome with it. There are books out there to sharpen your knowledge about lucid dreaming and astral projection. ( I won't recommend astral projection right away, its more crazier than lucid dreaming.) learn proper use of lucid dreaming first then upgrade to astral projection. Maybe you know about astral projection but its just a reference. This website has lots of information regarding lucid dreaming, read about it. And here are some books to work. Its easy to find e-book on internet.

https://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/bestselling-books-on-lucid-dreaming.html
"A curious mind cannot be afraid of Unknown. It searches for the answers untill the end of time."

User avatar
R99
Posts: 437
Joined: 14 Nov 2011 07:53
Location: Where Fiction collides Reality

Re: Confused

Postby R99 » 13 Jul 2018 08:24

Shynia wrote:Hello Ariela and welocme.

May I ask you first how old you are and what you do all day long (study, work, else)? Because the exact same thing happened to me.
I, too, was about 4 or 5 when I realized I can dream lucid (of course I didn't know the term and I also just enjoyed everything, not knowing the possibilities, only using it as a method to be able to fly). It got more and more intense the older I got, with it's peak during puberty. Then I started (like you) building my own realities, even just enjoying and exploring what my mind threw at me. I didn't know the WILD or any other method to forcing my lucidity, I suffered from time to time from sleep paralysis but that too, I didn't know what it was called and no one could help me with it. The internet was young, youtube had like five clips on it (oh my, I feel old). So I had no possibility to research this kind of stuff and allthough I told my family and friends, no one knew lucidity or paralysis. I just kept to myself and I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. Sometimes I skipped school just to be able to be in my world. Of course it affected my real life in a not really good way but you'll surely understand me when I say it was like a drug.
And then, it stopped. It stopped really abruptly when I started to smoke. At that point I didn't know the reason and I didn't care because I moved in with my boyfriend and I was working a lot, being always super tired in the evening, falling asleep on the sofa etc.
That was when I was around 18/19/20 years old.
Now, with lots of experience later I know the reason. Smoking made me tired (not talking about cigarettes, mind you :lol: ) and so did my whole life. I had less free time, I got up earlier, had to work a tiring job (not physically but my mind got tired) and when I slept, I really was knocked out. Sometimes I couldn't remember anything in the morning. I was sad at first, remembering my adventures and all. But I realised how addictive and bad it was, it lessened the pain of loss.

Now, btw I'm 30, married and have a son, no smoking and no bad habits at all (except gaming maybe ;) ), I have a healthy "sleep-life". Sometimes too tired to even dream, sometimes allowing myself to have an adventure, sometimes just letting it happen, whatever comes. I think your life needs to be balanced to be able to not abuse lucidity, that was not the case when I was a teenager, so I hope I could give you a little advice. Of course I know too little of your life and habits, age and surroundings, family and friends. But try it, go and make sport for a whole day, make yourself really, really tired and feel how you fall asleep while your head hasn't hit the pillow. Works like magic :lol:


Good to meet you Shynia, its cool to meet two pros at same time. Maybe you could help Ariela more than I ever could. I got just one question for you. The reason why you smoke weed. I smoked only two times, first time it was fun. Second time I almost messed up my marriage life. (nothing happened but weed is illegal in my country, my partner only knows bad side of it) I use smoke as its a brain stimuli for deep thinking. What about you?
"A curious mind cannot be afraid of Unknown. It searches for the answers untill the end of time."

User avatar
Shynia
Posts: 20
Joined: 10 Jul 2018 13:00

Re: Confused

Postby Shynia » 13 Jul 2018 09:15

R99 wrote: Good to meet you Shynia, its cool to meet two pros at same time. Maybe you could help Ariela more than I ever could. I got just one question for you. The reason why you smoke weed. I smoked only two times, first time it was fun. Second time I almost messed up my marriage life. (nothing happened but weed is illegal in my country, my partner only knows bad side of it) I use smoke as its a brain stimuli for deep thinking. What about you?


Thank you R99, happy to have found this place :)

The reason why I tried it was, well, because I was a teenager, in my rebellious state I guess :lol: but I really liked it because I felt like lucid dreaming. It also helped me numb a little my brain when I felt responsibilities crushing me (my older sister messed up school and my parents put all their hopes and dreams on my shoulders). I felt free for those few hours. The downside was, that it numbed me too much, I was groggy for over a day after smoking. I quit, then, after meeting my (now ex) boyfriend (who was a hardcore smoker) I eventually started again, moderately. After finally breaking up (it was a really unhealthy relationship) I quit and didn't go back to it. It just makes me too tired. Maybe i'd have a smoke knowing I can lay around lazily for the next two days but that is not going to happen soon with a three year old son (and a husband who despises weed, cigarettes, etc) ;)

User avatar
R99
Posts: 437
Joined: 14 Nov 2011 07:53
Location: Where Fiction collides Reality

Re: Confused

Postby R99 » 13 Jul 2018 12:17

People who despise addictive substances are hard to come by, you are lucky. Good to know that you put down a bad relation, Cheers for that. My only experience with cannabis is for the good side of it. Am just experimenting with once a year.

Back to the point, am currently getting back to lucid dreaming. Now am getting 4,5 LD per week. Yesterday's LD was short, I was trying to make contact with subconscious mind, failed.I think subconscious is the higher self of our own self. Do you have any experience with subconscious?
"A curious mind cannot be afraid of Unknown. It searches for the answers untill the end of time."

sadpin
Posts: 8
Joined: 24 Jul 2014 15:36

Re: Confused

Postby sadpin » 01 Aug 2018 23:08

Ariela wrote: Also, sometimes in dream passes much more time, like months and when I wake up, I am so full of memories and experience I cannot adapt to this real world for hours at the time and days after, I'm still lost. I see people I saw the day before and cry to them because I missed them so much, It's crazy.

when it comes to the feeling of time the more scenery you walk through and activities you do the more time you will feel to have passed. so either do less activities or control the scenery as you can. everything you see and hear is regarding your thoughts and feelings . they are just being reflected back to you in a scenario like a movie you are living in. the best one to understand what the reason behind your dreams is you. when you truly believe that you will always wake up you will stop having nightmares of being stuck. you need to work on your belief for that. for me it looks like you are so conscious that you are doing what others might call moving from one dream to the other. i mean that instead of remembering 5 or 6 dreams you know exactly how your conscious transitioned from one dream cycle to the other in the dream world . so for you it is just one very long dream .
you seem to feel sad about waking up and leaving your dream universe yet afraid to be stuck there. i would just tell you to move beyond your fear and enjoy your gift. have happy life in your dreams as nightmares affect your body so does happy dreams . relax and enjoy the stories your mind lets you live. since you have very vivid dreams you have a good memory of them in your long term memory and they will stay there it is normal. i remember dreams i had more than 12 years ago more vividly than most memories that actually happened. it is normal to wake up stay confused for a while just record your dream there and remember that you always know when you are awake inside you you really know reality like you know dreams. face reality and use this gift to help you but not to escape . use it just as a helping hand going through life, use it to train for how you want to act in real situations. maybe just walk through not controlling anything.

i hope you find the calmness and peace your looking for


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