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Accidental first WILD, exploring my subconscious mind and repressed memories.

Posted: 23 Apr 2017 15:08
by RainDanceSpirit
This is just a recollection of my first WILD because it turned out to be very interesting and some of you may like to hear about it.

This is my first post so I'll start by saying that I've had lucid dreams several times in my life, flying and shapeshifting and stuff (a reoccuring problem however is getting too excited, then everything fading to blackness and waking up). I am trying to explore them further, but this was my first WILD and it was a much more different experience to my DILD's.

I needed a break from my work and I didn't get much sleep the previous night, so I lay down on my bed. I went into a half sleeping state where I hadn't actually gone to sleep, but I had. I never "realised" I was dreaming, because I never had any doubt that I was still fully aware.
I started consciously thinking of a film idea, daydreaming essentially, throughout this, I kept struggling to keep track of what I was thinking. As if my sleep state was trying to take over but I pushed back and kept concentrating on the story. Then when I had finished it, without any transition, I was walking inside a building. It was quite empty - there was no firniture and I couldn't see any windows, each room and hallway was a different, dull pastel colour. This place was filled with people, but all the people were like glitched 3D models. I thought to myself that it was like a VR experience, it wasn't real, nor not real. I realised very quickly that I could do whatever I liked, so I relaxed and started peeking into all the rooms at these strange fake people. In one room there were 2 of them getting undressed. My natural instinct kicked in and I shut the door and walked away embarassed, but then I remembered that this was like a "safe place" where I could do what I wanted because there were no real people here. So I flung that door back open and looked again (not because I wanted to, but because I COULD). It was quite liberating.

I carried on walking and did stupid things to these fake 3d people (crudely modeled), like poking them. I said out loud but without using my mouth, "This is so much fun!". Like I was hearing my thinking voice aloud if that makes sense.
Then I came to a glass wall which lead into a gym room, and inside there were all the girls I knew from secondary school (it was an all girls school). I thought to myself, "ah, so the only real looking people are in this gym". I looked at all of them and remembered who they were, friends, aquaintences, people from my class and others, but there were a few people who had 'glitched' because I couldn't fully remember them. Like there was a girl with a loaf of bread for a head! There was no packaging... just a sliced loaf of bread magically staying together, and on the side of that bread, there was a message written in biro. I knew that I had seen the message at school, and realised then that this place I was in must me my sort of 'mind palace' (sorry for Sherlock reference ha), where I could visualise my thoughts and memories. It was really interesting!

For no reason I did a handstand against the wall and hung on to a black hollow tube attached to the wall, I could feel my hands tense in the real world, as in the lucid state my hands were clenched, and losing their grip. I fell down but I thought to myself that I can't be hurt here, so my wrist didn't break (it would have in real life due to the angle). I just fell down with no injuries at all. I got up and carried on exploring, I walked up some stairs into a smaller boxed room (the stairs were along the right side of the wall from my direction). I went in and then, a bully from secondary school was there. I wasn't afraid of her, because I knew this was just an image, a memory. She said things in a threatening manner like "I will punch you, I will knock you out in one hit." and "do you want me to cut you?". These were things that she had actually said to me and I noticed that these were repressed memories. I had just unlocked something I had locked away because I hadn't known how to deal with it at the time. So I decided that it was time to deal with this issue. With no remorse (because I knew she was only in my mind), I pushed her down the stairs, I watched her bounce and roll satisfyingly to the bottom. I lauged and willingly wanted to 'get rid' of her and of these words that had once bothered me so much that they got stashed away. So, as I looked to the wall on my right (the corner), there was a flip button, like an old light switch. I knew I had made it, and I knew what I would make it do. I flipped the switch and a trap door opened up underneath the bully as I had planned, and it swallowed her up. She fell. I laughed and laughed at having freed myself from this burden which I was previously unaware of. I noticed then that I was also laughing in the real world, and was aware that my housemates might hear me. But I thought pff so what, I laughed some more and then chose to come out of this state and I 'woke up', feeling better than before.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Where they discover this unconscious mind place and use it to resolve problems? Is there a technique to accessing it on demand? Thanks for your time! :)

Re: Accidental first WILD, exploring my subconscious mind and repressed memories.

Posted: 24 Apr 2017 23:27
by Price
I like your dream and I like how you interacted in the dream to heal past memories.

I didn't have anything quiet like it, but one time when I was lucid I met a little boy and asked the dream character who he was. He said "I am your 13 year old self." He took me into his room and I saw how he always had homework to do and how he nervously picked at his scabs and scratched himself. He then said, "Can I show you my closet" I said sure and he took me to his closet where it was full of the most beautiful and colorful costumes. He was so happy and proud to show me what was in his closet. It made us both very happy.

Waking up from the dream I had a new perspective of my growing up experience.

I did have another dream that accessed my repressed memories that I wrote about

Thanks for sharing your dream.

Re: Accidental first WILD, exploring my subconscious mind and repressed memories.

Posted: 25 Apr 2017 04:26
by RainDanceSpirit
Thank you.
Oh I see, that is intriguing! I haven't met my past self yet, I think I'd be scared to.
Thanks for sharing :)