College just isn't for me

Tell us about your first lucid dream - and your latest. We want all the juicy details. Also share results of dream challenge experiments.
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RedKryptonite
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Joined: 13 Oct 2016 02:26

College just isn't for me

Postby RedKryptonite » 16 Dec 2017 02:56

Method: WBTB,I was awoke for a little more than 1 hour.
Supplements taken: Lucidimine,Vitamin B5(earlier in the day),Melatonin

I was driving around doing some errands. I was driving my dad's car and was on my way home to deliver something,but I just remembered that I forgot something (whatever it was) and I had to go back where I came from(wherever that was). This frustrated me because I'm a total noob at driving and just wanted to get this over and done with. I did a U turn and was retracing my previous direction and next thing I knew,I wasn't driving a car anymore but a tricycle! then after some time,next thing I knew,I was walking on foot(I'm guessing this is because of my out of practice dream recall)roaming around the streets. The streets were full of shops and vendors. Suddenly,I got this random idea to do a reality check. I very much doubted I was dreaming,but felt it was worth a try. I did my signature nose pinch reality test...and I WAS DREAMING!! :o :D

After this realization,I continued roaming around the streets,completely amazed. The next thing I knew(bad dream recall again?),I was inside a supermarket. I tried running at super speed,and everything and everyone in my surroundings started moving in slow motion (except me of course :mrgreen: ). I then ran into this random attractive chick,I pulled her close to me and started kissing all over her face. She didn't like what I was doing,and started pulling her face away from my kisses :lol:

After I was done with her,I encountered another woman. An unattractive chick this time. She was one of the store clerks inside the supermarket. I took a real good look at her face,and was amazed at how detailed and realistic she looks,even though I have never seen someone who looks exactly like her in real life. (though she's very similar to a college classmate I once knew). Dreams can be so amazing. :geek: 8-)

After that,I continued roaming around the supermarket,until I encountered my English subject college professor. She was with her boyfriend/significant other. they were both old people. She greeted me cheerfully and gave me a key(I never found out what it was for though,I didn't ask) but as she started walking away,I stopped her. I began telling her why I wanted to drop out from college (yes,this is the life crisis I'm going through in real life),I poured my entire heart out to her and explained myself. I remember this particular piece of the conversation:

Me: Some of the most successful people in the world are...
My professor: (as she interrupts me)college dropouts. *Gentle smile*
Me: Exactly. Steven Jobs for instance. (yes,I mistakenly called him "steven" :lol: ) I want to go ahead with that ice cream business idea I developed with my mom (yes,this is a real life idea too that me and my mom plan to try in real life)

My professor was surprisingly very understanding and approved of my decision(I don't know how this conversation would go in real life). I really wished this were a real life event. I then began feeling the dream about to end. I started rubbing my hands in an effort to prolong the dream. I was doing this as I watched my professor walk away with her lover happily. At the very end,I got the idea to spin around,but it was too late,the second I got the idea,I woke up for real.

THE END.

NOTES: I actually almost failed to sleep during this attempt,because I started getting hungry. I was tempted to eat and abandon this attempt but in the end,I decided to just drink a glass of water and suck it up because I didn't want to waste the lucidimine pill I took. Needless to say,it paid off! ;)

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Summerlander
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Re: College just isn't for me

Postby Summerlander » 16 Dec 2017 21:21

Arguably, the main downside to lucid dreaming is that everything that is experienced is only subjectively real; we often wish it was really happening. But we should also bear in mind that in certain personal contexts we are glad that it is all in our heads and nobody knows about it---like certain sexual fantasies, for example. :D

I dropped out of university, by the way. I was drinking and abusing drugs. On top of that, I argued with the lecturers during crits on the subject matter of illustration/animation. I also vehemently opposed their postmodernism. I didn't even bother with dissertations (considering that I love to write). Uni was definitely more about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll for me. If I were to go back, I'd be more diplomatic---but I'd still debate and stand up for what I believe in. I'd still call those lecturers out for their unreason.

Today I work in retain for a living and try to sell artwork/illustrations when I can. I've sold for journalists who research buyside and sellside analysts on the equity market. In fact, I worked with them on their magazine. The company was Euromoney Institutional Investor plc. I'd interview CEOs around the world and didn't care if some told me to fuck off over the phone. My manager was cool---a tall American who introduced me to celery and peanut butter and once paid for my dinner. (Jerk chicken ... yum!) He said I'm always welcome to work on summer projects. I never went back.

Now it's mainly family life, reading, writing and will be selling three pieces of artwork to an Austrian soon. He's a lucid dreamer like us. He wants to see my artwork on his walls because it conveys his experiences. Art can be subliminal like that.

Yep. I'm no Steven Jobs. :mrgreen:
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

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RedKryptonite
Posts: 252
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Re: College just isn't for me

Postby RedKryptonite » 17 Dec 2017 01:03

Summerlander wrote:Arguably, the main downside to lucid dreaming is that everything that is experienced is only subjectively real; we often wish it was really happening. But we should also bear in mind that in certain personal contexts we are glad that it is all in our heads and nobody knows about it---like certain sexual fantasies, for example. :D

I dropped out of university, by the way. I was drinking and abusing drugs. On top of that, I argued with the lecturers during crits on the subject matter of illustration/animation. I also vehemently opposed their postmodernism. I didn't even bother with dissertations (considering that I love to write). Uni was definitely more about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll for me. If I were to go back, I'd be more diplomatic---but I'd still debate and stand up for what I believe in. I'd still call those lecturers out for their unreason.

Today I work in retain for a living and try to sell artwork/illustrations when I can. I've sold for journalists who research buyside and sellside analysts on the equity market. In fact, I worked with them on their magazine. The company was Euromoney Institutional Investor plc. I'd interview CEOs around the world and didn't care if some told me to fuck off over the phone. My manager was cool---a tall American who introduced me to celery and peanut butter and once paid for my dinner. (Jerk chicken ... yum!) He said I'm always welcome to work on summer projects. I never went back.

Now it's mainly family life, reading, writing and will be selling three pieces of artwork to an Austrian soon. He's a lucid dreamer like us. He wants to see my artwork on his walls because it conveys his experiences. Art can be subliminal like that.

Yep. I'm no Steven Jobs. :mrgreen:

:lol: Indeed,the lack of physical consequences is one of the best things about Lucid dreams. Maybe that professor in my dream is my subconscious telling me that I'm making the right decision. Honestly,I truly have no love or passion for what I'm studying here in college. I feel like a fucking zombie going there. Its pretty damn unfair that my parents expects me to succeed at this when most of my relatives are college dropouts(or even high school dropouts)who found an alternative way to make a living. In fact,I would say that most of my relatives are people who should never have had kids. That includes my Mom and Dad,in my personal opinion. While they aren't bad people,they definitely lacked the qualifications to be good parents. (maybe I'll talk about that in detail at some other time)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It makes me feel better and more confident about the decision I'm about to make. I probably would have played with drugs too had my university been like the typical university in the US. but where I live(the Philippines),we now have a president who is so Anti-drugs that he's ordered teams to go on killing sprees against both users and sellers. I honestly have mixed thoughts. while I despise his anti-recreational drug use stance,its true that the Philippines has a lot of scumbags in it(having met them when I dabbled on drugs myself before Duterte became president,dealers will try to cheat you in all sorts of ways.),and he's wiped out a good number of them.

Well,at least I was able to play with Cannabis for awhile :mrgreen:

How did your parents react when you chose to drop out of college? I will probably be telling my parents in a few days.

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Summerlander
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Re: College just isn't for me

Postby Summerlander » 19 Dec 2017 23:37

My parents are divorced. :mrgreen:

They parted ways when I was in my preteens. My father was an aggressive little man who liked to gamble and beat my mother up on a daily basis. As a little boy, I just wanted my father to leave us the fuck alone. My mother eventually broke free and raised me as best as she could, but I soon realised she wasn't my kind of person either.

By the time she learned that I dropped out of uni, I'd already met my wife and had kids. I was already the man of my own house. She told me she was disappointed in me---which infuriated my wife---and I told her it was neither here nor there, it's my life!

Parents always affect their kids in some way even if it's not their intention, and that's because they feel the need to preserve their ego no matter the cost---and in my mother's case, the problem was vanity. Parenting is very well conveyed in 'This Be The Verse' by Philip Larkin:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

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RedKryptonite
Posts: 252
Joined: 13 Oct 2016 02:26

Re: College just isn't for me

Postby RedKryptonite » 22 Dec 2017 13:02

Summerlander wrote:My parents are divorced. :mrgreen:

They parted ways when I was in my preteens. My father was an aggressive little man who liked to gamble and beat my mother up on a daily basis. As a little boy, I just wanted my father to leave us the fuck alone. My mother eventually broke free and raised me as best as she could, but I soon realised she wasn't my kind of person either.

By the time she learned that I dropped out of uni, I'd already met my wife and had kids. I was already the man of my own house. She told me she was disappointed in me---which infuriated my wife---and I told her it was neither here nor there, it's my life!

Parents always affect their kids in some way even if it's not their intention, and that's because they feel the need to preserve their ego no matter the cost---and in my mother's case, the problem was vanity. Parenting is very well conveyed in 'This Be The Verse' by Philip Larkin:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

I'm sorry to hear all that. It looks like neither of us really had an "ideal/perfect childhood."
I believe my father only had me and my sister because of the societal expectation to have kids(and because of my mother's request). Like many other parents out there,he never really thought deeply about the subject. It was just "something you must do eventually" rather than a personal and well-thought out choice. How do I know? While he was kind enough to satisfy my material needs and wants,our relationship is...rather shallow at best. We hardly ever got deeply emotionally involved. He was never emotionally ready to be a father.

Parenthood should be a well-thought out personal choice,NOT a societal norm/expectation. While my father did love us,I can tell that his life would have been much happier and much better off had he chosen the childfree life. The typical person believes that love and financial security are the only requirements for parenthood(some idiots think that the latter is optional :roll: ),but I'm afraid that is wrong. those are just minimum requirements at best. (why else do you think rich parents often have spoiled and good for nothing children :?: ). Parenthood is about instilling/ingraining the skills/habits/mindsets into those young ins to help them become successful and happy people. To put it crudely,it is about raising them to be "Compulsively Competent" :!: (or at least as close to it as you could get. In an ethical way of course)
http://chirontraining.blogspot.com/2006/04/compulsive-competence.html
(Written by Rory Miller,this is one of those "insightful articles" I was talking about. ;) )

Very few people really have what it takes. (I myself don't even have close to half of what it takes :lol: )Almost all will have to venture into a journey of active self-improvement before ever being ready. I honestly don't know anyone in my personal life who I could say meets the requirements.

Sadly,I don't have the power to convince the ignorant masses of this truth,but I do at least have the power to not let my life be ruined by societal programming(and maybe the few open-minded people I come into contact with)

I've been told that I'm very similar to my grandfather(my dad's father),a lazy dropout and responsible for the mess this side of the family is in. Well,I'm at least not going to make the same mistake as him. If I end up a failure in life,then at least I can ensure that the vicious cycle of failure in this family ends with me. My philosophy and sexual orientation guarantees it. :mrgreen:

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Summerlander
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Joined: 22 Sep 2011 19:52

Re: College just isn't for me

Postby Summerlander » 23 Dec 2017 02:42

Do they know about what floats your boat? If so, how did they react when they first found out? You don't have to answer these questions if you feel they're too personal.

Everything you said about parenting pretty much resonates with me. A child is a massive responsibility and too many people can't even look after themselves let alone a nipper.
"Empty cognizance of one taste, suffused with knowing, is your unmistaken nature, the uncontrived original state. when not altering what is, allow it to be as it is, and the awakened state is right now spontaneously present."

- Padmasambhava

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RedKryptonite
Posts: 252
Joined: 13 Oct 2016 02:26

Re: College just isn't for me

Postby RedKryptonite » 23 Dec 2017 07:15

Summerlander wrote:Do they know about what floats your boat? If so, how did they react when they first found out? You don't have to answer these questions if you feel they're too personal.

My father was surprisingly understanding about it when I first told him back as a child. Back then,I was so deeply ashamed of my sexual orientation that I was asking him to take me to a psychologist. He told me that a ton of people out there are foot fetishists,and its nothing that I should kick myself over for. In the end,I'm glad he convinced me of that. I never knew this orientation of mine would end up to be such a "blessing in disguise" for me given the philosophy I've developed over the years. He probably knows the kind of porn sites I go to,and he takes no issue with it. Its just not something we often talk about. (and rightly so,it'd be feel really weird if we did. :lol: )

My dad also had no issue when I told him that I don't believe in Christianity anymore,I'm glad he was understanding about that too. While he does still believe,he's a "passive practitioner/believer" at best. He doesn't go to Church at all for instance. (Which I have no problem with. nothing wrong with being "religious only on paper" considering the kind of bigoted world we live in.)

As for my mom,she was initially much less accepting of both my rejection of Christianity and my sexual orientation. Regarding the latter,she was initially in very deep denial about it. She was conjuring her own psychological explanations of why I'm that way,like I'm only that way because of my low self-esteem. (That may or may not be true. but my self-esteem has nothing to do with the fact that ordinary/vanilla porn or pictures of naked women don't arouse me at all.)

Eventually she's come to accept both aspects of me. She doesn't try to force me to go to Church anymore(although she does still sometimes ramble on about religion to me. I don't like it,but fine with me as long as I can talk about stuff I like that she isn't interested in from time to time as well) and we simply keep quiet about the topic of my sexual orientation. Time has at least made her more open-minded than she used to be.


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