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A dream about a daughter

Posted: 04 Nov 2012 01:59
by The_Lost_Father
A few years back, I had a very moving dream about myself having a daughter. Even though it happened so long ago, I can still clearly remember everything that happened. I was sitting on my bed, playing an Online Role-playing game called Runescape, when I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. The dream, being true to life, me did not respond, because the rest of my family would get the door. Which is what happened in the dream, I heard the faint sound of the door dragging across the ground, and my mother's startled cry echoing up the staircase for me to come down stairs. Grudgingly responding to the call, I went down stairs. In my house the front doorway is right in front of the door, and even though from the top you can only see people's feet from the top, due to a wall going over the lower stairs, this time it was enough. The front door was open, and the screen door was propped open with a small basket. Inside was a bundle of blankets with a small face, and a note on top of this bundle with my name, written in large, clear letters.

As a came down the stairs, this face, which before had managed to look apathetic, locked onto mine and became the most lovely smile I had ever seen. In that moment, I felt something change in me. My anchor to the world had before, always been myself. But now, it changed in an instant, it was this little girl who I was reaching without a thought to pick up and hold, and with luck I thought, never let go.

The note turned out to say this in summary: her name was Emily, and her parents had given her to me because of that strange apathetic look on her face. It turns out, she never seemed to cry, or laugh or anything. Doctors had run countless tests, and found nothing wrong, she just would not cry. She would still eat, and sleep, but she would not cry, or even worse for the parents, smile. That is until, when they had her out in the super market, she caught sight of me in a super market with my family. It was a brief moment that she saw me, as we walked past, but it was enough. Her father took notice of this, and decided to follow my family through the super market, eventually taking down our car's license plate number. Being a lawyer, the note said he was able to have a friend track down my house, and then continue to test if it was really me that made his daughter smile. And upon discovering that it was me, and that when she not near me, she would cry for a time, before simply returning to her emotionless state.

The most bizarre part of this dream in my opinion, is that I never really seemed to lucid dream all this. The dream actually started with me, and a toddler Emily in our own house a few years later. Where, after abruptly being placed, I looked around and clearly said aloud "This is a dream". However, the girl(for I did not know she was Emily at this time) looked clearly confused by this, and walked toward me with a wistful smile and said "Daddy, your silly, dreams only happen when you are sleeping". Paying little attention to this girl I began to look around, to get a feel for my surroundings and what I could do in the dream. That is, until the girl who was walking towards me finished her journey to me with a hug. When she touched me, It is hard to explain...I felt like I was dragged out of my body, and at the same time like something was shoved into my head. The end result of these two phenomena was me ending up in my bed, playing Runescape, with no idea in my head that this could be a dream.

But it did not stop from me picking up the little girl, the dream kept going, I lived though each day with this little girl. I gutted a part of my basement, and created a play area for her, I bought a smaller bed so that I could make room for her crib. I went through school, hating every minute I was away from her. I watched as 5 years passed by. Every one of those days having the same sub quality regular dreams have until I was brought to the moment where the dream had started.

When I was back, the lucid dream quality had returned, and she was still hugging me, and all the doubt in my mind that this was a dream faded from my mind.

It was her first day of school, and we were getting her ready to go. With a smile I scooped her up and held her in my arms, and said, "Yes, I know I am silly, we are not sleeping are we?" and tapped her nose.
"Now lets see what we can do about breakfast." I continued. The house her and I were in was an extension of her real parents house that had been built when I reached out to her family, where we lived. Their was still resentment from the mother I remember, but she was still happy to be around her child.

We went though the rest of the morning doing the required things, and then with her backpack on and her brown hair in ponytails, jutting out of each side of her head. I could not help but wonder where the years had gone, how happy I had been during them, and how bittersweet it was that they had passed. She was already so big, and soon school would take her away from me. So I stopped her in the doorway of our home, her parents already walking to the car so we could all take her together and I looked down at her, our home in the background and her smiling up at me getting ready to ask "What are you doing?"

That is how I will always remember her, standing in that doorway,smiling, pig-tailed, backpack on, so ready to go school, and already so big.

A screech burst into my dreams, and I saw everything around me fade. The walkway, my house, the doorway, all of it simply faded into darkness. Emily was the last thing to go.
Never, have I ever hated or wanted something to leave existence more then that alarm clock.

I still miss her, and rarely a day goes by that she does not still cross my mind. Yet even 4 years later, I have not had the dream again, I have not seen head nor foot of her, and even now, my eyes still tear up thinking about her. Recently another dream made mention of her, which is what brought me here, after being so freshly reminded of her.

Thank you for reading, I know this was long, but this was as much as I felt I could shorten it. If you made it to the end, if you could help me with these questions I would be grateful.

-Are there any suggestions to get back to her?
-Is that normal, to have memories of things, of certain understandings put into your mind during a dream?
-Do dreams normally reference other dreams?