What do you do when your spouse/so/partner is a "bad sleeper

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Joined: 02 Jun 2014 15:39

What do you do when your spouse/so/partner is a "bad sleeper

Postby LD43081 » 06 Jun 2014 16:33

Question for all of you who share a bed with someone; what do you do if the person you sleep with is not a "gentle" sleeper?

My wife (who doesn't know I'm doing the LD thing BTW, long story) has a different philosophy of "going to bed" than I do. When I got to bed I make a point to only sleep; I don't read, watch TV or play on my phone. I also wait till I'm tired to go to bed and I try to avoid napping on the couch or in the easy chair. Before I was married I would go to bed, be out in about ten minutes or so and 99% of the time sleep through till morning.

My wife likes to read and play games on her phone for about an hour when she "goes to bed." I've kind of gotten around this by either using a sleep mask or lying facing the other way to try to keep the light out. The more major problem is that she tends to snore, cough and toss and turn a lot in her sleep. This is especially true during "allergy season" which goes on for about another month.

I've had a lag in LD progress lately (I'm in fact taking a bit of a break for a few days to try to get over some frustrations with the process) and I'm wondering if it's because of the disruptions in my sleep. We've been married for about three years, so I am kinda used to this already, but since I've started the LD work I'm wondering if the disruptions are hampering my progress. I _think_ I can get past the snoring and coughing by using ear plugs, but I haven't been able to find any information about how the ear plugs might effect LDs.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Posts: 23
Joined: 02 Jun 2014 15:39

Re: What do you do when your spouse/so/partner is a "bad sle

Postby LD43081 » 07 Jun 2014 16:38

Thanks, I'll try that!

Sorry to hear about a-hole neighbors. :(

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Joined: 13 May 2014 22:59

Re: What do you do when your spouse/so/partner is a "bad sle

Postby Karin » 07 Jun 2014 17:01

I have had the same problem, but in my case it wasn't threatening just my dreams, it was threatening my health and sanity to an unbearable degree.

I am sorry to say I had to move to the guest room. After a while I was able to move back in our room, in a SEPARATE BED (because otherwise any toss and turn would wake me up), and WITH EARPLUGS (takes most of the snoring sounds out), and at the condition that there would be no lights on, no TV, no laptop, etc... during sleep time.

This caused a lot of strain on the marriage, and it was a major challenge, but I just didn't have a choice, since I was trying to survive with my sanity intact.

Concerning earplugs: one challenge is finding one that fits comfortably all night and is very effective. Most start irritating my ear canals after a few hours. I would recommend trying them all until you find one that works. What works for me is HEAROS Ultimate Softness Series, 32 NPR (I am in the US).

After years of using this, I could not sleep without them, even if alone in a room. From my experience, earplugs actually facilitate altered states of consciousness because they are a form of sensory deprivation. It helps sleep more deeply too.

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