Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Tell us about your first lucid dream - and your latest. We want all the juicy details. Also share results of dream challenge experiments.
astrovineyard
Posts: 149
Joined: 29 Jan 2015 04:49

Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Postby astrovineyard » 25 Feb 2015 05:17

I had a VERY interesting night last night. So much so that I scribbled down the details during the day so I wouldn't forget when I had a chance to log in and type.

It didn't start out so well, because it was shaping out to be another night of insomnia. I went to bed at 11:30 and by 2:00 was still awake. Frustrated, I got up and looked up solutions to insomnia (where I notice that 90% of all pages feature a photo of a WOMAN trying to sleep, not a man). I found a youtube video with some soothing hypnosis and decided to listen to that for a while. I also said "screw it" and took my first Galantamine pill in a week, then lay back down at 2:30. The video was an hour long and it was relaxing, but I was awake the whole time when I turned it off at the 47 minute mark. I set the laptop down on the floor and curled up to sleep.

I don't remember actually falling asleep, but apparently I did black out at one point and had the first of three dreams. Of course, they were dreams within dreams where I was dreaming of TRYING to fall asleep!

In the first one I still had the laptop but it was on my lap and I slumped forward so my face was on the keyboard. It was surprisingly cozy and I felt myself begin to drool. After a few seconds I worried this might ruin my new laptop, so I sat up and wiped my lip, but there was no drool! I was missing the opportunities to become fully lucid!!! Then I set the laptop on the edge of the bed and decided to reverse my position in the bed so my head is where my feet would go. Again, this was cozy and I felt myself drifting, but I became aware of a subtle smell and realized this must be because my feet are always down here (my face and nose were buried in the mattress while I smelled this faint foot smell). I thought that this might not be a great idea and when I peeked at the sheets I noticed strands of long black hair tangled up in the sheets. When I awoke from this, I was back in my normal position, with the laptop back on the floor where I really put it.

I didn't remember the 2nd dream until after I awoke from the third, but I'll list it here anyway. It was probably a longer dream but the first thing I remember is there being this girl who looked like a teenage Jodi Foster (I saw Silence of the Lambs a few night ago, and no, it doesn't scare me). She was in a garage with a car in it. There were two other kids and she began to morph physically to resemble the other girl there, so she had redder hair, for example. This "scene" was very clear, in focus, and hi-def vivid - I recall that detail for some reason.

I realized that the girl was some sort of ninja assassin on a mission and suddenly she unleashed those skills. She moved blindingly fast and the boy and girl were knocked out cold, one of their bodies broken in half so the legs bent backwards and touched the head! Then she disappeared through a hole in a corner of the garage door. A man (their dad?) ran in past the bodies, not stopping at them, but upset, and reached into the hole and dragged through a pile of clothes or sleeping bag that at first I thought was the girl who got stuck while escaping - he unwrapped it and it was a newborn INFANT. The guy was visibly very emotionally upset, and it seemed like he thought that somehow the girl had changed into this baby or had replaced herself with it as part of her escape, but the father treated it like it was her and responsible for their deaths.

So he just starts repeatedly smashing the infant's head on the concrete. It never cries or moves. Then he reaches for a hammer and hits its head. I'm disturbed watching this, but it is almost like a TV show that I am not in, and I remember thinking: "man, this is real graphic, I can't believe they went that far and pushed the envelope like that."

I don't think I woke up that point - there might have been more to the dream making it segue with the third and final dream, but here is what I remember:

I was in a room with some furniture, very spare. I stood there thinking about how I haven't slept, but am okay with it, telling myself I'll survive and might just hallucinate a bit, imagining an example where I feel someone grab my arms, but could handle that. There is a mirror on the wall and it is a bit high so I can only see the reflection of the top of my head.

As I peer up to it I am greeted by ANOTHER face! It has wild crazy hair and huge high cheekbones, looking like a demented cross between Andre the Giant (in The Princess Bride) and that Eric Stoltz (in Mask). I stepped up higher in my toes to get a better look and the face tilted up to meet mine better in the reflection and I just looked at this disturbing face, not sure what to make of what was going on.

It was at that point IT happened.

Without thinking, I suddenly panicked, and tried to end the experience by pure will, and when I did I was met with resistance because I felt "stuck" or "trapped" in the dream, unable to wake up. It only lasted a couple seconds, but was enough to get a little scary - not quite full paralysis because I was trying to do a mental jumpstart to being awake rather than trying to struggle to move actual limbs, and I was trying to gasp for a breath and was unable to, so the panic was to get out of this situation before it became worse and inescapable. If I had a moment to THINK I would have either just let it go, relaxed, or maybe tried to test it further by trying to move an arm or leg, but it was all survival instinct.

The icing on the cake was the sound I heard - not buzzing, but probably in the family of auditory hallucinations
it was a steady sound, a cross between a low growl, a groan and a gurgling sound, not sure if it was just some sound in my head, or was supposed to be the troll reflection making it, or if I was doing it trying to breathe.
But by the time I snapped out of it (a mere couple seconds later) I physically jolted and heard myself gasp for air. And I thought WOAH - something like that hasn't happened in a LONG time still not as scary and long-lasting as when I was a kid, but a taste of that "danger" I used to feel.

Oh, and I woke up from that last dream on my back!

__________

So, what happened, exactly? Seems like I missed several opportunities to go fully lucid. The mirror, the odd face, the drool that wasn't there the computer in another location. And why did I have to panic at the end? If I was prepared I would have tried to see what would happen if I didn't struggle, or maybe if I struggled to move a limb.

Then there is a question of WHY this happened. It hadn't happened in so long that one (or more) of the things I did contributed. What do you think is more likely the cause?

1. The insomnia/sleep deprivation?
2. Getting up for a half hour before returning to bed?
3. The youtube meditation session?
4. The Galantamine pill?
5. Sleeping on my back (for the final dream)?

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taniaaust1
Posts: 2910
Joined: 07 Feb 2013 15:32
Location: Adelaide, South Australia

Re: Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Postby taniaaust1 » 25 Feb 2015 11:52

Frustrated, I got up and looked up solutions to insomnia (where I notice that 90% of all pages feature a photo of a WOMAN trying to sleep, not a man).


Yeah its very sexist, you will notice if you ever go and research headaches or depression or fatigue issues.. 80-90% of the time they tend to mostly show photos of women with those things too.

As far as insomina issues go, being on laptop before bed is quite a no no thing if a person has sleep issues. The kind of light a laptop emits will play havoc on your body as far as going to sleep goes (it will affect your bodies ability to produce melatonin which people need for sleep). Any insomina expert would say to turn that laptop off at least 2 hours before you plan to go to sleep.

astrovineyard wrote:Then there is a question of WHY this happened. It hadn't happened in so long that one (or more) of the things I did contributed. What do you think is more likely the cause?

1. The insomnia/sleep deprivation?
2. Getting up for a half hour before returning to bed?
3. The youtube meditation session?
4. The Galantamine pill?
5. Sleeping on my back (for the final dream)?

[/quote]

I personally think it isnt any one of those things which caused it but the whole combination of the things. They are all things which can help. Most people to trigger off a LD do more then just one thing.

Yeah you did have many missed chances to become lucid in this dream. It appears you havent programmed yourself enough to become lucid during your dreaming.

You had no thoughts of reality checking during this nor did you realise something wasnt quite right. You may want to consider reality checking (had you done one during this dream time I tihnk you would of became aware) and also you may want to consider working on your self awareness of things during the day so it can flow into your dreams to notice when something 'isnt right".

I stepped up higher in my toes to get a better look and the face tilted up to meet mine better in the reflection and I just looked at this disturbing face, not sure what to make of what was going on.

It was at that point IT happened.

Without thinking, I suddenly panicked, and tried to end the experience by pure will,


In fact you did think. Your thinking went something along the lines of "Oh shit, I have to wake up and get away from this, this is scary". I know you thought that as you later said you were trying to wake up to escape. The fact you were trying to wake yourself up, shows you had awareness that you were asleep. (A brief moment of lucidity). You got lucid but didnt enjoy it. This could indicate that you have some hangups about it (fears), fears about being in this state? fears about the unknown? fears....

What you think about LD when you are awake.. will impact upon when you have a LD. (I personally do not think all the thinking you do over HI people sometimes gets helps your case). You'd probably be better off focusing your thoughts of happy things in LD rather then possible scarying images as that otherwise will be what you get and from this experience it shows you dont handle this well and will just want to wake up when that occurs.

Will you loose your next LD due to this too the moment you become lucid out of fear??? The way around this is to stop focusing on the scary things as you do.. stop focusing on SP and the scary images which can happening during that (I know from your posts you connect those two things together) and then you will be far less likely to get those and want to stop your LD by waking up. All that may of been the very reason why this dream went the way it did and you lost what could of been a great LD experience.

Anyway, this is my take on what probably happened here.

better luck next time.
The only thing to fear is the fear itself

astrovineyard
Posts: 149
Joined: 29 Jan 2015 04:49

Re: Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Postby astrovineyard » 25 Feb 2015 16:15

Thanks. You must be the #1 responder here! Are you an administrator at the site?

While I agree it might have been a combination of things I did, I suspect that one or two may have been the main culprits. Since I've had such experiences (except MUCH worse) when I was a kid, WITHOUT Galantamine, laying on back, meditating, insomnia, etc.) it is possible to have SP with none of those things contributing, and it still might have happened if I had done one fewer thing. (Would it have occurred without the pill? The meditation?)

I agree that I was scared, but it wasn't of the image in the mirror. It was STRANGE, yet, and my 2nd attempt to get a better look at the face by standing higher on my toes (I recall this took some effort to raise myself high enough to see the whole face) shows that I was CURIOUS, not scared. And from what I saw it was confusing and perhaps disturbing, but not terrifying.

When I say my will to awaken was automatic, I mean I didn't think about it. I know you say I must have been scared of it, but I wasn't. True to form of most of my old SP experiences, it was the FEAR of the CONDITION of SP that I was afraid of. So, then, how did the condition happen? I don't know. Staring at the face, unsure of what was happening, then suddenly that gurgling (like someone gargling but on the verge of choking or drowning) with a low groan/growl suddenly made, as the theory I've read goes, my automatic vigilance system "err on the side of caution" when considering if an ambiguous perception is a threat or not. That appears to have spontaneously created a "flight" (wake up!) response to what I was experiencing, at which point I met resistance to doing so: I could NOT awaken, and it is at this point I felt "stuck" or "trapped" as I was, unable to draw my next breath, and in a panic sent out a series of strong impulses to snap myself awake out of it, in resistance to the force that seemed to be holding me in that state. And, as I said (but despite the length of the description) the whole ordeal lasted 2, maybe 3 seconds. If you include the face looking at me, before it became scary, it was more like 10 seconds.

My panic/fear was not of the face, but rather the state of helplessness, being trapped and unable to awaken or escape a condition in which I was afraid. This is what even as a kid I knew it wasn't the DREAM I was scared of, but the TERROR I experienced from the sensations and hallucinations I had while trying to wake up from the dream. But it seems that the face was a trigger in some way, since it is unlikely I would have looked at a beautiful sunset and suddenly felt the urge to awaken. So, despite your advice to avoid fear, it seems somehow that fear, or strangeness or the unknown is a helpful trigger to push one into this state. If that is the case, I won't refuse such opportunities to give me additional practice. But I am left wondering, before I began fighting to wake up, where did that sound come from? What does it mean? I know auditory hallucinations are part of the experience, but, there I was looking at a bizarre face in the mirror and this sound begins. Maybe it was the sound that did it, not the face?

I don't know how to suspend that automatic urge to wake up, let alone do reality checks in the dream, which I only recognize after the fact.

astrovineyard
Posts: 149
Joined: 29 Jan 2015 04:49

Re: Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Postby astrovineyard » 25 Feb 2015 20:28

I should also mention that the following night (last night) I slept much better, which I usually do after a "bad" night of poor or little sleeping. I took a risk in taking Galantamine again, but there was no effect (luckily, no adverse either). No interesting dreams, just the usual few I can vaguely remember. Even slept on my back at some points. So maybe it was the hypnosis session or waking up for 30 minutes and going back to sleep that caused the SP before?

Because the effect of the pill diminishes, I won't take it twice in a row like that again. I will try to stick to just one day per week.

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taniaaust1
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Joined: 07 Feb 2013 15:32
Location: Adelaide, South Australia

Re: Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Postby taniaaust1 » 27 Feb 2015 12:39

Are you an administrator at the site?


No.

Staring at the face, unsure of what was happening, then suddenly that gurgling (like someone gargling but on the verge of choking or drowning) with a low groan/growl suddenly made,


Those are sounds which can symbolise fear..
The only thing to fear is the fear itself

astrovineyard
Posts: 149
Joined: 29 Jan 2015 04:49

Re: Lucid Dream Success! (sort of).....

Postby astrovineyard » 27 Feb 2015 18:37

That is interesting, because as I said I was not afraid - the sounds simply appeared and intruded upon my strange and curious but not frightening experience. I was not scared until I found myself panicking to wake up, like it was suddenly urgent, but could not for those few seconds (nor draw breath).

As a footnote, I grew impatient to have my next experience, so rather than waiting until Monday I tried the same formula last night, including the hypno video, laying on back and taking Galantamine. Unfortunately the result was one of restlessness and vague dreams which I can't remember were dreams or thoughts I had trying to sleep, but nothing vivid, lucid, or SP.

There MAY have been some SP moments that almost happened, or rather, I dreamed might happen, and just the thought of it made me stop it each time, either by waking up too soon or steering away from it in the dream. Somehow the thought of losing that first breath as you get sucked into that stuck helpless state is too scary even to consider "letting go" because the instinct is if I lose control of that first breath, Imight forever be unable to do so again. When I am awake I tell myself I can handle it but in the dream I fight it every time.


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