I have no control.

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I have no control.

Postby Pareidolia » 13 Nov 2015 00:21


Here's the deal:

When I go to sleep when I'm not fully tired, I lucid dream. Without any effort.
When I tire myself out completely before going to sleep, my mind usually doesn't have the energy to put me in a lucid dream, so I won't have one.

So I prefer to tire myself out fully first, because I seem to be having an awful lot of bad experiences lucid dreaming. I have full control of the dream, but only as the second party. It seems as if there's a first party who has even more control over my lucid dream. This is what's causing the bad experiences.
What I hate most about it is that this first party communicates with me. Sometimes I hear it speak to me, using my own voice. Sometimes it summons creatures out of the blue, or confronts me with challenges that I didn't demand. I'm also used to it changing the environment in my dream drastically without any notice up front.

This is why I hate lucid dreams. So I tire myself staying up rather than going to sleep, to prevent the lucid dreams.
Yet, tiring myself out isn't a good option either. When I tire myself out, a few symptoms occur.

I get a headache. My vision becomes partially blurred. Noises become muffled. I hear whispers, voices, noises that aren't coming from my direct surroundings, but seem to be in my mind. I often see faces that aren't there, and sometimes I even see humanoids completely who aren't real.

I really don't know what to do.
Death to be a dignity, execution's lost philosophy. All my atrocities
come by way of reciprocity. And reason is treason.

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