Multi Personality Disorder while Dreaming

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Joined: 24 Oct 2014 02:18

Multi Personality Disorder while Dreaming

Postby StormSharkX » 07 Oct 2016 00:08

I have suffered all kinds of dream / sleep issues throughout my life, everything from Paralysis, on a major level when I was younger, that was hugely amplified by the fact that at the time I knew nothing about Paralysis nor even heard of its existence, which lead me to believe for many years that I was been haunted by dead people most nights while I lay awake in bed, while never seeking any help or sharing what I though was happening to me with anyone because I did not want people thinking I was Crazy.

This I think was the trigger that has lead me in some way to take control of my dreams in a lucid way, driven by the fear of losing control of my dreams and experiencing traumatising nightmares, some that have been so bad they will stick with me the rest of my life.

But last night after months of easy sleep without any issues, after been able to enjoy dreaming on a lucid level for many years, something I have never even experienced before, and totally unlike anything I have ever even heard of before, it was like what I imagine having Multi Personality Disorder would be like if all the different personalities where to engage at once.

To try and better explain it, for starters I will get the visual hallucinations aspect out the way, becasue there was nothing, I was Lucid as well trying to visualise where I was, I knew I was asleep, but having a blank visual dream with only what I can describe as been trapped in a deep thought case scenario which I felt I had to escape from by analysing a long term process to reach the solution, and as each step carried forward it felt like time was passing in years at a time till it was 10 years later when I managed to fix the solution, only problem was everytime I reached the end I was been triggered back to the start only to have the process repeat over again, reach the exact same solution over the exact same time span of exactly 10 years to reach the end of the process and achieve the goal. I must have retriggered the process at least 4 or 5 times last night, cant even be sure how many times it felt like I was having, what my mind was telling me was 10 years of though process play over and over again to from what I can recall was identical every for every step of the way, any each step was passed to the next level though different voice inside my head working at the same time together to counter and element different lines of action available to me each time giving the same path conclusion, from brief what spells I reall of what some of the voices where saying, seemed to me like the exact same but different voice where giving the information at each act point.

Will throw in at this point I woke up totally sane btw after, despite how crazy this may seem as even dreams go, nor was the dream scary, in fact if anything it offered great levels of satisfaction as each stage was passed giving the reward of achievement on what was in the dream a interesting quest, based on what in reality was a very strange thing of having to find something I had lost in the dream.

It gets even more bizarre when I think of the scenario and the conclusion that although I though was very important for with in the dream, despite the fact would not make any sense, but if given the real elements within the dream that relate to some real life time memories are of small consequence level to me.

The scenario was I was visiting a womens house I used to date years ago, although this centre figure was a real women I knew and met up with a few times over a few months spell, it was not someone I would consider had any type of huge influential value within my life, the reality is it was someone I have not seen or given second though to in years, who name I can even remember, just some women I met in town one night who had her own place while i was like in my early 20's and still living with my parents, who was to me just someone I could call up go visit for sex back then, I would not even class her as an ex-girlfriend, just a mutual fun partner I had for a while when I was younger, who one day I just blew off by just not going to visit anymore or call up and that was that, was not my only sex partner back then even more one of my favorites, in fact visiting her was more like a "well there is nothing else to do tonight kind of option", so how she became just a key figure in this dream of all people I knew I have no idea.

But anyway the situation in the dream was this, (even though this never happened in real life)

She was moving during the week, an I was planning on going to stay with her at the that weekend, I had her number in my phone and had took her to visit her new house once, so the plan was to call her up at the weekend and go round and stay with her for the first time in her new house.

Only then during the week I lost my phone and lost here number in the process, also because I was not paying attention when vising her new house I could not recall where it was, this did not matter at the time because I assumed she would text my address and I would GPS it and drive over to hers that weekend, I knew she was moving and was invited and welcome to go stay with her at her new place that weekend, but the simple action of loosing my phone triggered me within the dream to spend the next 10 years trying to find her.

Its very hard to explain because it was all done though thought process alone, so all its as if the facts where given to me on paper and was forced to resolve a plan to get to the solution which was not so much keyed into finding her new address but finding her, plus I had all my modern day technology, mobile phones with GPS, google account with saved address, internet and dating sites which are real today but where not around back when I actually really knew the Women I was search for in my dream.

some parts are sketch in how I recall the dream but the entire dream was been narrated to me by many different voices I was listening to in my mind none of which held any appearance or character even in or outside the dream, they where just random voices in my head shouting out suggestions of how to find her.

The path kind of followed this set pattern, I would look for the house but fail to find it, in dream time I spend months if not years physically search for her new house only every time I check any street I was not even sure if I was even in the right town or even city and I got lost every time any physical search was selected as a possible solution.

Finding my phone was another solution in this dream analysed so I could ring her, this always lead me to a crowded pub where I thought I had left the phone on a table, I would search the pub ask someone behind the bar it it was handed in, but no one knew anything or had seen my phone, I was writing to off as complete gone far quickly down the 10 year total passing of this dreams timeline.

I would get a new phone and then have her number retrieved with my with my google account, this happening just a couple of weeks into the timeline, only to recover every number except hers because I had accidently not added her number to my google account and it was saved to only the phone I would only discover this when receiving the new phone just a couple weeks int the time like.

I would have my new phone number changed back to my old one and she if she called me ever again, but there was an unexpected mistake made by the phone provider, who even though assured me that I could have my old number when I signed up, left me waiting for months in this dream waiting for it to be swapped over in the hope she might be trying to contact me, but then months into the timeline just been told by the phone company "sorry but there has been a mistake you can't get your old number back"

Much revolved around the phone and the number for the first few months of this quest, after that search was turning into more been aimed at trying to find the house where years started to pass in the dream, and I would join dating sites in this dream looking for her specifically to no effect.

Then exactly 4 years into the scenario of looking for her I had given up hope, every angle have tested to find her was dry, basically I would quit the search, this was a sad but moving moment in the dream because in the dream she had become like more than the love of my life more a soul mate kind of figure, and I was broken at this point in the dream and would stop looking and get over her.

the exactly 2 years later, 6 years in the entire scenario I was over her and actually with my current wife and our 2 kids (this been my real wife and kids both in my dream, and reality as we are right now a happy real family), only in the dream we were not married still had both our kids, even at there present age which is 4 and 6, (break the timeline rules I know, but this is as it was in the dream), so anyway I'm suddenly 2 years later in this dream with my own very real family I have and am with right now, and very happy with in real life, but not happy with in the dream, in the dream I was secretly very unhappy with my family saw them as a sallow shell of what I had lost, but learning to accept it.

Then I was on a dating site that in the dream I was actually using to cheat on my real life wife with in the dream, even though I don't ever do this in real life, but was in the dream cheating on her without her knowing with about 6 other women form this website, then I click on this random webcam and I see her, the women who I lost in the dream 6 years before, putting on a cam sex show ridding dildo on cam in a chat room full of people, everyone loving this show on chat, literally 100's of other guys in this chatroom all saying they want to meet her, asking her where she lived etc through the chat room, along site a ton of dirty chat like "you're making me cum" etc, but she was not type or answering anyone just getting really into her own show really going for it big time.

This brought a whole new case step to resolve, I was in a chatroom with 100's of guys, all wanting to meet her etc, cos they all horny because of her show, and this been my one chance after 6 years of been deeply in love with her (least where the dream was concerned), and I had to text chat with her though a room where she was getting 100's of guys massaging her wanting to meet her, to try and tell her I want to meet her, though a chatroom where she could not even see me, only what I was typing into the full room, under a false chatroom name. And this all assuming she even remembered me still after 6 years where as far as she was concerned, after only knowing her for a few months beforehand in this dreams scenario, had as far as she knew invited me over to her new house where she moved 6 years ago, but due to losing my phone all that time back had not been in contact since, so in her eyes even if she did recognize me, I was just some random ex-person she invited over but then had not bothered to contact her ever again since for the last 6 years, but from my case senario within the dream was deeply in love with her driven deeper with the 4 years spend looking for her, given up that hope of ever finding her again even and left a broken man, only to find her here 6 years later, and try to convince her to meet me again though this full chat room.

Typing this dreams path does give little justice to just how bizarre this dream really was due to its dictatorship of voices telling me this story within my head, was totally at this point bang out there as far as the muti-side personally aspects of the dream went, cos it was like everyone typing in this chatroom had there own voice in my head.

Anyway I joined in the what I can only describe as pure chaos in the some what desperate attempt to talk to her and convince her to meet me, so am there as part of a chatroom going at 100 messages a second full of 100's of other guys all wanting to meet her etc, trying to ask if she could remember be because I wanted to meet here more than anything else in the world, and had wanted nothing else for years.

But despite all impossible odds of her knowing who i was in this chatroom where she was playing live on webcam, remembering me, and even if she did giving me the take of day for ditching her 6 years back least in her mind where I know though dream analysis I was putting in though many different simulations voices at this stage, if she did remember me she would think me a complete dick at this point for ditching her all those years back, then randomly showing up on a somewhat rude dating site watching her on webcam, because thats where I was in this dream looking to cheat on my real life wife, who I was living with at this point as I am know except for the marriage part in the dream.

It just so happens I met my wife online on this exact website some years back, not under the same circumstance or anything like the cam chatroom part, but though normal means of message each other and dating etc, so anyway I am back on this website in this dream trying to cheat on my wife now of 4 years in real life, but have been with for 2 years tops in this dream, we are not married in the dream but have 2 kids like we do right now in real life. And trying to get this other ex-women from my past I used to "partner up with, whose name I can't even remember" but is my true soul mate in this dream due to her inviting me over for a weekend, but lost my phone and did not turn seriro the dream was giving me, in this chartroom trying to get her to meet with me again.

Then it get more bizarre, cos I join the chat, pleading with her to meet with me, telling her thinks in this cam room like "you are the love of my life I need to come over and see you" which given the scenario of her on cam doing what she is doing in this dream, aside 100's of guys saying they want to meet her too, is about as shallow as it get, and I realise this in the dream what this would look like from her perspective but continue trying anyway, cant even private msg her in this room cos she has that feature turned off so on one can, and then to prove I know her in the dream by telling her "I know she has a son because I am an old friend of hers and prove I know this by saying these exact words 'Your sons name starts with "j"'

This grows stranger still because the women I am chasing in this dream does or did not at least back when I knew her have any kids, but my oldest kid now who is 6 years old, I have a with my real wife, well ours eldest sons name does start with "J". plus he is 6 and I am 6 years in the timeline of this crazy dream.

Anyway back in the dream this grabs her attention, because in this dream this is true somehow, and so she becomes interested in how in the hell do I know her son?, so she send me a private message asking me to explain how I know this wanting to know who I am. So I try explaining to her who I am that I was suppose to come round and see her at her new place 6 years ago one weekend but never showed up, without going into details of why, about the lost phone and that, but she still has no clue who I am cant see my face, has looked at the profile I have on the dating site we are chatting on but dont recognise my modern pics, of the profile I have on this website in this dream which I am using in the dream to cheat on my wife, yet who I met on this website years back.

But even though the women I chasing in this dream she doesn't remember me in the dream or I don't in real life cos I not seen her for years or even care to, not even back then never mind now, anyway she agrees to meet up with me anyway do we arrange to meet up that night at a service station.

So next thing I'm 6 years down the timeline of the dream just reconnected with the "love of my life" in this dream who I spend search for yet dont remember me, yet am now living with my real life family within the dream also, but they are not as much to me in this dream as they are in my life, instead this other women is whose name I cant recall in real life, wanting to convince her to me my women at a service station late one night after just pulling her on a dating site, where she was just hours ago pumping it life for 100's of guys live on cam.

You have to remember this point this all coming to be like case files proven problem cases steps a I am analysing in this dream spends at a time though multi voice dictating to me different possibilities and causes of action to take. and me following the same path to the same places multi times though this same scenario, over 10 year time line and this only up to year 6, I realise in the dream my past efforts to find her and me been in love with her sol badly at this point and for the entire time in this, anay all this is pointless to her, I know that if she does remember who I am she is going to not know all that side and see me as the guy she invited over to say at hers one weekend but then just shoved off and left her "which is close really to what I did in real life, just stopped meeting her round her place, except in this case was because I lost my phone that I did not go see here, so given the situation I am facing not in this dream, I figure I can't tell her the truth about loosing my phone and spending years looking for her, during which time I fell deep in love with her, but still she is meeting with be cos I know her sons first initial over her web cam show, and have managed to convince her she does know me though facts within the altered reality of the dream are true like knowing she moved house 6 years back.

So I figure out at this point in the dream I can't tell her the truth cos it could well put her right off knowing I spend years looking endlessly for her, without her even remembering who I was, plus I have met and am with my real wife at this point with our real 2 kids, but the facts in the dream are not as in real life, since we are not married in the dream but have 2 kids, and in the dreams altered facts I joined this site years ago looking for her specifically only to give up on her 2 years back meet some one else, but still use this website within the deram to cheat on her.

So every I say to this the first time I get to see her again I have to make up because the truth for her would be way to hard to take, and I fear that telling her everything would scare her off, so we meet up and she starts to remember me, but she thinks i am a total dick head from her past that just visited her for sex a few times but then just when and left her never to see her again, well she is well over me in this dream could not care a less about me even from the time I knew her with in dream, but she meets and remembers me, so I have to explain why I never met again and just left without a ever getting in touch with her again, where as I am desperately in love with her still at this stage and scared of losing her forever if I tell her the truth and figure my best chance is to work from this point we have now to try winning her over so I can be with her instead of my wife who in this is my current girlfriend at this stage.

So i do nothing but lie to this women in this dream, I tell her I did like her those years back when I met her a few times, ran out on her cos I was young and foolish and scared of commitment back then but after seeing her on cam that night could not believe how fit she was not and wanted her sexaully right then so wanted to meet with her, and tell her nothing of the real true deep love i have for her in this dream and the 4 year search for her I had spent looking for her after loosing my phone and been unable to remember where her new place was at. So I go with what I got now and tel her what she wants to here, like how sexy she is and all that, try to get her to forgive me for running out all those years back under the lie of just young back then and stupid running out on here but that I want her now to take me back with her.

Any this works, only she asks me if I am with anyone else, again I dont want to risk loosing her in this dream so I tell her no, put an secretly plotting to leave my wife and kids get with her and live happy ever after.

So the time line moves on I see more of this women and she starts to like me, however I am still living with my wife and my kids as in real life, trying to figure out how I can get what I want with as little trouble as possible, again another case senario I am dealing with, this around 6.5 years down the line of the dream, only then it goes to wrong me and her, cos she starts to suspect I with someone else which I am hiding from her and wants me to prove I am not by taking her back to my place cos things she really starting to like me again at this stage, but then boom, I'm struck out by the women I really love in this dream cos she knows I have a family find out I am cheating on them with her and was hiding all this from both of them, so she obviously not happy, and thats it, out she leave me at this stage.

So 6.5 7 years in the timeline of this crazy mixed up dream and I think that's it, its game over love of my life as far as this dream is concerned who I spend 4 years searching for cos I lost my phone, even though she knows nothing about all that I was trying to win her back form where i was with lies, and telling her I not with anyone else only for her to catch me out big time, so that was it, still crazy in love with her soul mate crushing style in this dream at least, wanting to leave my real family for her cos I have always been in love with her all that time even though she not know anything about that and thinks now I am a guy who run out on here nearly 7 years back and now have been with here for 6 months lying all the time saying I was not with anyone else bu really was because got with my with this over women (who happens to be my real wife in real life) and did not tell her.

So now I am really stuck in this dream and think that it have blown it completely, am totally in love with her but can't have her, and this been a thought surpassing dream these feeling seemed quite real while in the dream, while been feed to me though muto-voices in my head over visual imagery just making it all mind blowing crazy dream.

So life goes on down the timeline of the dream till about 8 years in, I have given up on the women i truly loved in this dream selled to be with my wife (who is not my wife only my partner in the dream) and kids, and thats that, my dreams true love at this point seems gone for good no hope of ever giving me another chance, after from her few me screwing here over twice, first back when I first met here and just seemed in her eyes to totally ditch and blank her forever, until I say her on cam doing a porn show, and convinced her to meet up with me even though she had forgotten me completely, only to start a new relationship with her again from this point, and getting her to like to, for her to find out I been lying to her and I living with some else and our 2 kids (who just happen to me played out in this dream by my real family, my kids ages don't make sense in the dream), and I have opted to give up on my true love a second time, and to never tell this over women and I have 2 kids with and carry on with her.

Only boom again I still cheating with her on that site, this site I originally joined in the dream in the 4 year search for this one women, then given up on ever thinking I would see her again, got with someone else, during a missing 2 years in this dream yet just appealed and as my with my kids, during years 4 and 6 of the line, this bit very strange.

so anyway dream carries on to year 8 am devastated again, have blew true happiness in this dream reality with my true love will call her, who does not have a name ether in the dream, but happens to be a past partner of mine who name I can't recall or care to think about for years.

As sods law has it I just remembered that lasses name this very second, while typing but that not relevant in the dream nor doe sit matter, now really to me, just a little strange fact since been thinking of her all day since this dream as the strangest character to be in this dream as my true love of my life, when its character was given to be via narration though many different voices in my head, representing a girl from my past who name I could not remember till now, but this dream has had me thinking of her all day as the girl whose name I forgot.

So any so back to the dream next stage is year 8 and I with this women I met still after loosing my true love who I search for the first 4 years of this crazy dream, settled with my new not so special partner and our kids (yea been played in this dream as my real family who never seen to gain or loose age during the entire dream just remain as they are today, except much less important to me in this dream than they are in real life), been replaced by a radon women I slept with a few times must me 15 years ago at least, who have not seen, heard or thought of since then or given a second though of till today thanks to her been given as the main character in this dream, whos name I could not even recall until few moments ago just because writing this dream out triggered me to remember her name at least, which was quite amusing to me at the time I realized it, after been nameless thought the entire dream, which was delivered to me though a mix of random voices in my head with no visual image, in a dream which was Lucid yet could not escape without finding my dreams true love, but still I was aware I was asleep and been voice fed this dream.

SO what happens next is my wife, finds out I am cheating with her in this dream (I say my wife cos she is my real life wive in real life) but just a disappointing partner who is just a secondary replacement to loosing my true love in this dream, who I cheat on through the same website I met my wife on 8 years back in real life, only in this dream am using this website first to try and locate my true love who I ditched first cos I lost my phone at the start of the dream found again in the most bizarre part of this dream for sure, and this I would class as one most insane dream I ever had the more I think about it, and even know writing this dream out is crazy to me as I am starting to see how mixes up some crazy facts form my real life.

Anyway I am cheating on her in this dream right, and she catches me, we are not married in the dream so she just up and leave me as well, only she is really hurt, I am hurt in this dream cos I lost my true love thanks to loose my phone at the start of the dream, then my wife shows up as my 4 to 6 years down the timeline, then leaves me cos I am sleeping about with 5 or 6 different women on this site.

So now she leave me anyway, with my 2 kids, this in the dream makes me happy, as I alway loved and still love this other woman I spent 4 years searching fo at the start of the dream, but have in the this dream had 2 chances with her only to blow it beyond what I though was repair, only for my wife I am not married to in this dream, to catch me cheating on here on this website with all lost of other women, so now this give me a new least of determination to go find this dream true love, then skips thought to 10 years later the end of the dream, and I am sat there with my true love in this dream on what I can only describe as the Jeremy Kyle Show doing a lie detector test, becasue I went out found my one true love in this dream, convinced here to get back with me by telling her the full truth this dream (or should I say the dreams mixed up truth) but it was real and seemed like the truth in the dream, that I lost my phone 10 years ago so I could not go refind and been this woman again because I could not find her new house ether even though I had been there once before, or get my number back from the phone company in case she was ring me, I told her all this when I found her again, knowing where she was this time due to refinding her during year 6 of the timeline, and tolder her about searching for her for all those years, and she though it was the biggest load of shit she had ever heard and wanted me to go on the show to prove me a lie, then the dream would end and reboot.

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