Existential Rant Place

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HAGART
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Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 17:12

If you build a dumpsite to spew feelings, they will come.

I don't want to start, but once I do I will spill all the beans.

We're all a punching bag full of beans.
Last edited by HAGART on 01 Jan 2018 17:31, edited 2 times in total.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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HAGART
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Joined: 05 Jan 2012 21:09
Location: CANADA

Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 17:16

I realize I over analyze, and my word play and imagination is beyond control, but Dr. Suess figured it out. I find solace in that. The problem is, I feel like my mother is a problem and yet she was the one who introduced me to these ideas of spiritual communion over material gain. I did talk with her and we are going through a process. In fact, now I remember my early childhood experience of freak out mode. A night terror we call it. I was running around, screaming, exclaiming that we are all rubber. I only remember that from others talking about the experience, and it reminds me of Rubber Soul now from Beatles. We are not alone in this place. Others are old souls like me too.

I feel regret about not being able to express all this in words, but I do realize we are in the same boat. I need this place. I made it. I made a home.

But feel free to run amuck in this happy home. Is it a mansion or city or whatever. I have a fear of people, and yet love them. Our ideals of mansions and poverty is eating alive on the inside and we need to break free.

I know this is not perfectly coherent. Feelings come before words, and typing on a computer is even another layer that makes it harder.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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RedKryptonite
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Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby RedKryptonite » 01 Jan 2018 17:39

Having an outlet to express all of your feelings(which may or may not be socially well-received)is indeed healthy. You might also want to consider writing a personal journal/diary,for thoughts and feelings that you may not feel comfortable expressing to others(at least not yet).

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HAGART
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Location: CANADA

Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 17:51

Thanks. This already helping. I might rant and my social anxietiy is crippling, But I have to INGNORE. Ingoance is bliss, but can choose to ignore. That was from an Allan Watts video I saw. I find solace with that. Some of us just feel like we never belonged here and feel alienated.

Why?

I don't know. That is why I started this.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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HAGART
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Location: CANADA

Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 17:54

My mind is full of confusion and I am sending out a life preserver to be rescued.
Then at other times, I sort it out and can sum it all up, and I am the one rescuing others. It's an endless cycle.

Bare with me. But then again, why should I even be apologetic about this, right? Or wrong. Ah, my mind is in turmoil.
I don;'t have to bare anything except the feeling of running bare naked and free in a world that is crushing me, and self defeating.

I realize it's my over idealist mind. but don't realize it at the same time. And what is time.

ARG. This is why I need an outlet. Not need to reply or double check spelling. I give myself permission for that now. But I will be transient too, and that is alright.

Where is my home? I lost my car keys and am confused. Some sort of puzzle of life hasn't be solved.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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HAGART
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Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 18:06

Pretty much, everything is an ebb and flow of emotions. Accepting that is the problem.

Having a dog on a leash attitude with my self isn't working. I can't tame and scold my mind when it acts out of line by my own ego sense of importance.

I'll just keep rambling. I might click and crystalize into an essay or a word of truth that puts all my father figures, like Bill Hicks and George Carlin to shame. (Another grandios idea. I need to stop that, and just accept who I am, even if there is no I)

These are the pangs of self awareness.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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HAGART
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Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 18:13

There is no Yoda.

It was a fictitious God character that stemmed from our innate desire to seek out a father figure. Mother figures are just figures of our imagination too. Why is there even a deep rooted separation? I will have to wrestle with this, and eventually, not rise my fist in victory, but lie beside them and cuddle and feel home again.

If I was a WWF wrestler, what would be my costume?
I laugh about this now, imagining that. That's all we have really. Gotta make yourself laugh with the dillusion of imagination. And ironically, it's illogical and yet we think way more lucidly that way.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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HAGART
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Location: CANADA

Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 18:19

I am realizing that our motives has made this life into a snakes and ladder game.
I don't like that game.
And we make up stupid games like the game of life by Milton and or Bradly, some dudes I never knew and it's irrelavant.
But the snakes and ladder game of ups and downs and helping others and falling yourself, I feel is the ultimate expression of how I feel.
(but I can rant about it with confused words another time, and we all will)
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.

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RedKryptonite
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Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby RedKryptonite » 01 Jan 2018 18:24

HAGART wrote:I don;'t have to bare anything except the feeling of running bare naked and free in a world that is crushing me, and self defeating.

Oh,words can't describe how much this resonates with me. Like many of us here,I am a man with unconventional beliefs and controversial views towards the world. The internet is a gift really,allowing people like us to express ourselves without fear of social backlash. Heck,my own mom was considerably disturbed when I spoke to her about Anti-natalism,even though she had no logical rebuttals to it other than "It's against life" :roll:

Anyway,I'm about to sleep and attempt my inductions(I failed the last few because my laziness/sleepiness sabotaged my WBTB attempt,but I'll force myself this time). Maybe visiting the dream world would benefit you too,maybe get the chance to talk to your subconscious,etc. or...maybe getting high will make you feel better,hehe. :mrgreen:

Good night!

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HAGART
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Joined: 05 Jan 2012 21:09
Location: CANADA

Re: Existential Rant Place

Postby HAGART » 01 Jan 2018 18:32

Thank you.

How does one truly express it? I feel not alone anymore. Good night.

I'm gonna play some Rubber Soul now.
If we all lucid dreamed this world would be a better place.


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