A lot of people are interested in lucid dreaming sex and that's no surprise really. In a lucid dream, you can fulfil your ultimate sexual fantasy and it can feel just as real as waking life. Indeed, it's the #1 reason why most people desire to learn lucid dreaming in the first place - and internet marketers just love to flaunt the idea of lucid dream sex. The question is, are these erotic dreams really all they're cracked up to be - and are beginners capable of them?
You betcha. But it's not all that easy to initiate sex in a lucid dream, and that's because our subconscious has quite a different agenda...
For instance, it's quite common to become self aware in a dream and go in search of a sexual partner - only to find your Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson has transformed into an ugly, withered being. It's a real turn off. Other times, you can lock on to your ideal sexual partner, or use your skills to morph them into someone more attractive, but then find they are completely disinterested in you. They may look straight through you, or walk away entirely.
Remember that many dream figures are projections of your own subconscious self, and their mission may not be to find intimacy with you. Other dream figures seem to be mere autonomous characters which have no soul (if you like) and so no particular agenda. I'm not sure why these characters exist or whether I've misinterpreted them completely.
But ultimately, you can have a lot more lucid dreaming sex if you identify what motivates the dream figure and, rather than treating them as a sexual object, open up to them and offer a shared intimate experience.
It also helps if you make yourself fully lucid beforehand.
In fact, it's a good idea to cultivate healthy interactions with lucid dream figures in general. More often than not, they are meaningful representations of your inner self and they deserve to be treated with respect. If you go around abusing dream figures, be prepared to be sorely disappointed when, at any moment, they have the ability to turn your experience into something of a nightmare.
Ok, let's assume you've made a connection with another dream figure and are having full blown lucid dream sex. What's gonna happen? Believe it or not, there have been scientific studies into orgasms during lucid dreams.
Scientists have found that lucid orgasms can sometimes be accompanied by a real physical response, including increased heart rate, changes in vascular tissue and other muscular reactions. Sometimes, however, it's purely in the mind - although this doesn't make it any less real to the dreamer in their super-sensory dream environment. There is also heaps of anecdotal evidence to show that men who experience a lucid dream orgasm also ejaculate in real life.
The problem many beginners will find is that it's difficult to hold onto conscious lucidity until the critical moment. A sexual lucid dream is highly arousing and beginner oneironauts will most likely wake up before the experience has even got going. In this way, lucid dreaming sex isn't ideal for beginners. You'd do far better to learn the ropes of conscious dreaming and understand how to ground yourself better so that when exciting things happen, you don't wake up. I wouldn't recommend attempting to lucid dream orgasm without first being able to prolong a lucid dream for, say, 30 minutes which denotes a fair proficiency. However, that's probably not going to stop you trying, now is it? :)
How do you feel about having realistic sex in a lucid dream with someone who is not your real-life partner. Are you actually cheating or is it all just a dream?
This is a very personal issue and I think you should take it into discussion with your partner and make your own minds up. Generally, I feel that it's ok to explore your sexuality in this alternate dream dimension. I don't see why we should create such restrictions for our partners either - after all, a lucid dream, no matter how vivid, is still just a dream. The arousal and the emotion of lucid dream sex is not defined by another human being, it's all created in your own mind.
There is only one caveat to this argument, and again, it's a debatable issue but I would like to raise it anyway. Let's say you're attracted to someone you know in real life who is not your romantic partner. Should you release those sexual frustrations with them inside the safety of a lucid dream?
It depends on the circumstances, but having erotic dream sex with someone you have to face in real life may serve to heighten your attraction to them, which wouldn't exactly be fair on your partner. It's akin to fantasizing over someone you know with the underlying desire to hook up in real life. What does that say about your current relationship?
At the end of the day, however, sometimes things happen during lucidity which we never expected - nor controlled. Just like regular dreams, our subconscious can dish up some bizarre scenarios and with our rational minds half asleep we just go with it. So don't beat yourself up about sexual dreams that go awry - indeed, Freud would say you are a perfectly normal human being...
As I mentioned at the start of this article, many people start lucid dreaming in order to have lucid dream sex. Yet that's only a tiny fraction of what they ultimately get out of it. Since I began lucid dreaming in my teens I've discovered many surprising applications for lucidity that were far more rewarding than any erotic dream. So while I totally understand the need to seek out sexual gratification in dreams, just remember to push the boundaries a little further and begin to explore the real value of lucid dreaming...