Lucid dream sex is often the #1 reason that motivates people to learn to control their dreams.
Lucid dream control means being able to fulfill your ultimate fantasies, often just as tangibly and vividly as waking life. Between sex and flying, we've covered the two most desirable features of dream control.
The question is, are these erotic dreams really all they're cracked up to be? And are beginners even capable of them? Because as all lucid dreamers know, a different set of rules operate inside the dreaming mind...
You betcha. But it's not all that easy to initiate sex in a lucid dream, and that's because our unconscious dreaming mind often has a different agenda.
For instance, it's quite common to become self aware in a dream and go in search of a sexual partner - only to find your Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson has transformed into an ugly, withered being.
Other times, you can lock-on to your ideal sexual partner, or use your skills to morph them into someone more attractive, but then find they are completely disinterested in you. They may look straight through you, or walk away entirely.
Remember that many dream figures are often unconscious projections of your own psyche and, naturally, their mission may not be to find intimacy with you. Other dream figures seem to be mere autonomous agents who have no drive or agenda.
But ultimately, you can have a lot more lucid dreaming sex if you identify what motivates the dream figure. Rather than treating them as a sexual object, talk to them and offer a shared intimate experience.
In fact, it's a good idea to cultivate healthy interactions with lucid dream figures in general. More often than not, they are meaningful representations of your inner self and they deserve to be treated with respect.
If you go around abusing dream figures, be prepared to be sorely disappointed when, at any moment, they have the ability to turn your sexy dream into a lucid nightmare.
Let's assume you've made a connection with another dream figure and are having full blown lucid dream sex. What's gonna happen? Good news - there have been scientific studies into orgasms during lucid dreams.
Scientists have found that lucid orgasms can sometimes be accompanied by a real physical response, including increased heart rate, changes in vascular tissue and other muscular reactions.
Sometimes, however, it's purely in the mind - although this doesn't make it any less real to the dreamer in their super-sensory lucid dream environment. There's also heaps of anecdotal evidence to show that men who experience a lucid dream orgasm also ejaculate in real life.
The problem many beginners find is that it's difficult to hold onto conscious lucidity until the critical moment. Sexual lucid dreams are highly arousing and beginners often wake up before the experience has really got going.
In this way, lucid dreaming sex isn't ideal for beginners. You'd do far better to learn the ropes of dream control and understand how to stabilize your dream so that when exciting things do happen, you don't accidentally wake up.
How do you feel about having realistic sex in a lucid dream with someone who is not your real-life partner? Are you actually cheating or is it all just a dream?
This is a personal issue, so consider dropping the idea with your partner and make your own minds up. I feel that it's ok to explore your sexuality in the lucid dream dimension. There's no reason to create restrictions for your partner either. After all, a lucid dream, no matter how vivid, is still just a dream. The arousal and the emotion of lucid dream sex is yours - and yours alone.
There is a caveat to this argument, and again, it's debatable but I'll raise it anyway. Let's say you're attracted to someone you know in real life who's not your romantic partner. Should you release those sexual frustrations with them inside the safety of a lucid dream?
Maybe. Or maybe not. Having erotic dream sex with someone you know in real life might just increase your attraction to them, rather than satisfy it. Is that a problem? Are you fantasizing over them with the underlying desire to hook up in real life?
It's worth mulling over before you do the deed in a lucid dream environment because the intensity of the experience can be pretty memorable.
At the end of the day, though, some things happen during lucid dreams which we never expect - nor control. Just like regular dreams, our unconscious can dish up some bizarre scenarios.
So don't beat yourself up about sexual lucid dreams that go awry. Freud would say you're a perfectly normal human being.
As I mentioned earlier, many people start lucid dreaming purely to have lucid dream sex. Yet that's only a tiny fraction of what they ultimately get out of it.
Since I began lucid dreaming in my teens I've discovered many surprising applications for lucidity that were far more rewarding than any erotic dream.
So while I totally understand the desire seek out sexual gratification, just remember to push the boundaries once in a while... and explore the greater value of lucid dreaming.
Lucid dreaming, like any advanced skill, requires a considerable investment of time, energy and dedication in order to master. Yet, as a lucidity researcher, I'm regularly asked by those new to the subject, for an easy and low-effort technique. Something that
Members of our lucid dream forum have been asking how to create dream characters in lucid dreams. The most common problem is having characters who look nothing like they should. Or they seem disinterested in your company. Or they fail to show up on command altogether. So, how to combat this? It's a matter of finding creative solutions that bypass logical expectations.
To lucid dream, I recommend being able to remember at least one vivid dream per night. That will boost your self awareness in dreams (making lucidity more likely) and also means you can actually remember your lucid dreams. Which is nice. Here are four detailed tips on how to remember your dreams more frequently. And if you don't think you dream at all - trust me, you almost certainly do. It takes an extraordinarily rare sleep disorder to deprive someone of dream sleep.
It is estimated that these wise and wily Indians have been using mugwort in their healing and ritual practices for 13,000 years, where it is known as the ‘dream sage’. They use the herb to promote good dreams, which they consider an essential aspect of normal human functioning! But that’s not all...
Silene Capensis has been used for millennia by the Xhosa shaman of the river valleys in the eastern cape of South Africa, where it is known as Undela Ziimhlophe or 'white paths'. It's fragrant white flowers open only at night, when they emit a fragrant and almost hypnotising aroma. Also known as African Dream Herb or Ubulawu, Silene Capensis induces spectacularly vivid dreams - yet has never entered the mainstream and remains a fringe taste within western culture.
Experts agree that everyone is capable of having lucid dreams. Dreaming itself is a normal function of the mind. We all dream every night, even if we don't remember. And we all achieve conscious awareness while awake every single day. So what does it mean to combine these states? Why, the amazing ability to have conscious - or lucid - dreams. Sounds simple, doesn't it? So why do I keep hearing from people who say they can't achieve their first lucid dream?