How to Have Lucid Dream Sex
Lucid dream sex is often the #1 reason that motivates people to learn to control their dreams.
Dream control means being able to fulfil your ultimate fantasies, often just as tangibly and vividly as waking life.
I mean, between sex and flying, we've covered the two most highly desired features of lucid dreaming!
The question is, are these erotic dreams really all they're cracked up to be? And are beginners even capable of them? Because as all lucid dreamers know, a different set of rules operate inside the dreaming mind...
Is Lucid Dream Sex Possible?
You betcha. But it's not all that easy to initiate sex in a lucid dream, and that's because our unconscious dreaming mind often has a different agenda.
Sometimes, you'll lock-on to somebody you like the look of (or use your skills to morph them into your ideal sexual partner) but then find they are completely disinterested in you!
They may look straight through you, or walk away entirely.
Other times you may be having rampant, satisfying sex - but simply become far too excited and wake yourself up! This is especially common with beginners
Remember that many dream figures are often unconscious projections of your own psyche and, naturally, their mission may not be to find intimacy with you. Other dream figures seem to be mere autonomous agents who have no drive or agenda.
But ultimately, you can have a lot more lucid dreaming sex if you identify what motivates the dream figure.
Rather than treating them merely as a sexual object, talk to them first and establish a shared intimate experience.
In fact, it's a good idea to cultivate healthy interactions with lucid dream figures in general. More often than not, they are meaningful representations of your inner-self and they deserve to be treated with respect.
If you go around consistently abusing dream figures, be prepared for the consequences, as ultimately you are only taking advantage of part of yourself!
Are Lucid Dream Orgasms Real?
Let's assume you've made a connection with another dream figure and are having full blown lucid dream sex.
What's gonna happen? Good news - there have been scientific studies into orgasms during lucid dreams.
Studies (LaBerge, Greenleaf, and Kedzierski - 1983) have shown that lucid dream orgasms are accompanied by a real physical response, including increased heart rate, changes in vascular tissue and often (in males) actual ejaculation.
Sometimes, however, it's purely in the mind - although this doesn't make it any less real to the dreamer in their super-sensory lucid dream environment.
The problem many beginners find is that it's difficult to hold onto conscious lucidity until the critical moment. Sexual lucid dreams are highly arousing and beginners often wake up before the experience has really got going.
In this way, lucid dreaming sex isn't something you should focus on exclusively right at the beginning of your lucid dreaming journey.
You'll do better to learn the ropes of dream control first and understand how to stabilize your dreams - so that when it does happen, you don't accidentally wake up.
If you've set your mind on actually experiencing lucid dream sex, then accept at the beginning that you need to educate yourself and build your lucid dreaming skills.
Is Lucid Dreaming Sex Ethical?
How do you feel about having realistic sex in a lucid dream with someone who is not your real-life partner?
Are you actually cheating or is it all just a dream?
This is an issue on which you need to make up your own mind!
I feel that it's OK to explore your sexuality in the lucid dream dimension. There's no reason to create restrictions for your partner either.
After all, a lucid dream, no matter how vivid, is still just a dream.
The arousal and the emotion of lucid dream sex is yours - and yours alone.
There is a one nuance to this argument. It's debatable, but let's hear it anyway!
Let's say you're attracted to someone you know in real life who's not your romantic partner. Should you release those sexual frustrations with them inside the safety of a lucid dream?
Maybe. Or maybe not. Having erotic dream sex with someone you know in real life might just increase your attraction to them, rather than satisfy it.
Is that a problem? Are you fantasizing over them with the underlying desire to hook up in real life?
After all, lucid dream sex can be just as emotionally and physically overwhelming as its real life counterpart.
It's certainly worth mulling this over before you do the deed yourself in a lucid environment
At the end of the day, though, some things happen during lucid dreams which we never expect - nor control. Just like regular dreams, our unconscious can dish up some bizarre scenarios.
So don't beat yourself up about any sexual lucid dreams that go awry. Freud would say you're a perfectly normal human being!
Final Thoughts
As I mentioned earlier, many people start lucid dreaming purely to have lucid dream sex.
Yet that's only a tiny fraction of what they ultimately get out of it.
For example, check out these surprising applications for lucidity that were far more rewarding than any erotic dream.
So while it's totally cool to seek out sexual gratification, just remember to push the boundaries once in a while too... and explore the greater value of lucid dreaming.
About the author
Chris Hammond - Editor and "Chief Lucidity Officer" of World of Lucid Dreaming. That means he writes about lucid dreaming, awareness - and other gooey stuff like the nature of consciousness and cosmic existence. Join me at World of Lucid Dreaming Academy.
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